Post secret 2

The sheer audacity of this card astounds me.

I feel this way all the time. Haiz.

Now this is a fantastic way to keep your stress under control. Wait for someone else to do it and then point your finger and wag it.

NTU's atrocities

School's about to open. And damn, the fuckin pain of subject registration. Why can't things be simple like in the old days, go to school on the first day, collect your timetable, everyone complains "wah lau..wednesday finish so late...still got eca training", but then we all jus do the same shit, write the same exams at the same time. Who pass goes on, who fails doesn't, and gets retained.

Who was the bright spark who came up with the modular system anyway. Like if you fail a module, you repeat it till either you pass it or they throw it out of the syllabus and give u another crappy replacement subject.

Now, we suddenly from A B C D got grades from A+ to D- and E and F ,all carrying their individual grade points so we can calculate what degree we're gonna end up with. Finally, NTU sees the sun. Nabei, so fucking long grads of the school have literally stabbed in the dark just gone thru the motions and wrote their papers without one inkling of what class of degree they might come up with. Some even theorized that there was a quota each year for each class.

I just don't get it. You earn your class as per how well you did what. And also once you exceed 4 yrs of academic time, you automatically lose your honours. This is the old system. Which means, an A student [not me] could be scoring As and Bs for 3.5 yrs and in his final sem just fail one fucking module and he loses his honours and also has to come back pay 6 mths of fees for just one goddamn subject.

One thing, that really peeves me is the "quizzes" in NTU. Every core subject has about 2-3 quizzes which are mandatory and the only way to escape them if you aint prepared is to have a ready MC. These quizzes supposedly contribute to your end grade after the written paper, and is supposed to take the load off the final paper and give you a bonus. Ok, fine. Good idea. Especially for the underachievers like me.

But then here comes the cinch. The damned professors who teach have no idea exactly how much percentage your quizzes carry and some don't even release the quiz results to you, always promising to put it "online", then not doing so. Classic line : "The quizzes carry up to 20% of your final grade". WTF is up to? 1%? 3%? 19.99%? Just say la exactly how much so I know right! So I can calculate to see if I can keng the paper or I really need to be Einstein to achieve a pass grade.

The gripes I have with this school. Not over yet, will post on the dumb fuck administration in a while and of course the ubiquitous Student Union. Rajini should be Union Leader la, at least we'll have better welfare.

Adieu!

Simple Pleasures

Since I'm already in the family angle of stuff these days, I really need to give it up to my pops for the simple pleasures he has taught me.

Pleasure is one thing, but getting it through simple means with no coercion and no big sum spent is another. My dad is a simple man, simple things make him happy. Like if his sons suddenly do something that seems fillial, or when someone in the family agrees with him on something.

More than my mum, I have no idea why I've always sought my dad's approval in stuff. Not the asking permission sort but yeah to see his chuckle, that slight upturned lip to show he is happy with what u did n not dissapointed.

Simple Pleasures of mine:

1. Watching the sun set from outside my house with a good coffee and an equally good fag.

2. Dissing MGR cos he's my dad's mortal enemy. Don't ask me why, my dad simply hates that mofo.

3. Dissing the opponents of the soccer team my dad has bet on.

4. Buying the family dinner. Not a big deal in most places, but we seldom eat out and eat good. So, it really makes my old pops a happy man when he has a meal worth burping bout and seeing his kid whip out the card to settle the bill.

5. Smelling the sweet smell of lavender. Fuck man, that smell always gets me on a high.

6. Seeing my brother after he has a had a good long bath and is smelling good but with bad hair. One of my daily simple pleasures.

7. Watching my mum watch her Sun TV soap operas with such intense concentration that the curry has even got burnt once in a while.

8. Getting an sms from an unexpected source. [Simple yet satisfying]

9. Eating Hersheys cookies and cream. Nothing puts me in a better mood than rolling that liquefied chocos in my mouth. Sweet sensation.

10. A nice fucking piping hot bowl of char siew mee pok, with extra chili, add sausage and luncheon meat. Now that's the way to start the day! [By far best mee pok i've had is in Air Force School, love that auntie's shit boy]

Christmas Weekend

Ok, Christmas has come and gone leaving me very Santa Claustrophobic. I, kudos to me, did not step into the Orchard Rd region at all! Yey! One fateful night without that crap of a crowd.

Well, the only santas i saw were 3 gorgeous Santarinas at this small family run pub in Telok Kurau and one transsexual Santa with perky tits and a blonde wig but with Joscelin Yeo shoulders.

I dont' see the big deal bout this week, i.e. starting at Xmas and culminating in the New Year. It is my most dreaded week. An excuse to spend money, cabs [the only way i travel] got extra charges, food shops I like are closed and the spendthrift in me won't rest till the bank balance reads ZERO.

But holidays means more actually, a convenient excuse for all the siblings of the big big families of the 1950s to get together and have a huge party. You know the kind: 40 yr old women talking about the latest Indian movie gossip, chicken curry boiling on the stove, kids running all around and tripping over the minute specks of dust. Older cousins sitting around keeping a straight face though seething in disgust with each other. Dickhead uncles who speak like they know the world. Their pleasant wives who try in vain to keep their hubby's mouths shut. Yes, we all got crazy ass relatives... why not...makes the world go round. ;)

But the true joy I guess is to see the little ones play, here are the little pioneers of the most mindboggling dance moves and crap talk of my extended family.

My little brother, Arul

The love of my life. What will I do without him. Haiz. Presently representing Singapore in some HK Exchange thang with Scouts. Envy man, ask any uniformed personnel in Singapore, the pride of wearing a "singapore flag" patch beats any other badge or medals you can be awarded.

My youngest auntie's son, Kumaran

He has a deformity, but thank god no one in my family is shallow enough to think that makes him any less human like some "villagers" do. Fantastic fella, though he MUST grow out of his cartoon character "set clothes" soon or else I aint gonna speak to him. Aaaargh, the pain that the chicken little outfit gave me that day.

His sister, Lavanya.

Blossoming beauty. She didnt speak to me at all till 2 years back mostly cos I was seldom around these functions and she didnt know I existed. But damn, she's cute! My best bet for growing up to be a first class beauty.

My favourite auntie's daughter, Saras.

Fantastic girl, superb manners, attitude, humility and respect. My favourite cousin based on overall developmental potential. Hahaha. If only her mum let her beautify herself by straightening her hair and letting her pierce more ear holes.

My second last uncle's children, Revathi and Shivaanan.

My vote for the ones who will grow up to be non orthodox Indians. You know the kind, westernized to the max. Just grooving. Stubborn little fella that small punk, I had to discipline him last Deepavali by making him sit within a 30 cm by 30 cm square tile at my granny's place. N he got soo terrified he pissed on the spot. Hahahaha. He fears me and I like that. His sis on the other hand used to ONLY sleep on my lap on those road trips up north. Even her parents found it irritating. But what the hell, who wouldnt want me, tell me. Oh yes, they spent 2 years of their childhood in France. Cos my aunt who's in the air force did a stint there.

I thought I've ended but this photo is soo captivating I have to give dear girl Lavanya some more air time. So fascinated I am with this pic, that it is now my mobile wallpaper. Tadaaaaa :

Adieu Compadres!

Report Card

Priceless comment from Edison my 3SG colleague:

"Wait ...Wait...Wait...Am I missing something over here? Since when do people jump for joy even though they got 4 Fs in their results slip. Is this some university thing that we poly ppl don know about"

Ok, la...i did get 4 Fs but so what. I managed to stay in school. Those close to me would know that I;ve already got kicked out of school once, came back by appeal and endured a "God will punish those who fail again this sem cos the PM said don't waste taxpayer's money subsidizing failures' school fees" talk from the Vice Dean. As you would know, we Singaporeans only pay about $2,900 of the $5,900 school fees per sem.

Yeah, I was happy, overjoyed. This time around I wanna make it good. Try and keep it up to date. that shall be my one and only resolution for the New Year. 2006 has a nice ring to it, why waste it yeah.

Typical mother's sentiment: Since u decided to buck up and stop being an alcoholic.... Why don't u quit that 'karmam' a.k.a. "sin" of smoking too. Now this is going overboard la, why disturb my fags all, that is inbred.

No one even peer pressured me into smoking, I walked up to my mamak shop one fine day in Pri 6 and told the uncle, Lucky Strikes. That's like the only brand I knew then cos my dad smoked it. Since then it has been a whirlwind affair with that slim slender stick, from brands that spanned continents and flavours that can only be described as heaven when inhaled first thing in the morning or after a freaking heavy 10 course dinner.

So, to all who know and love me out there. Say anything cept bout this shiet. Don't be a broken record la, I'll stop when I get a life threatening disease ok? Oh yes, bout the eyes, apparently it's not some fucking disease afterall, just that since i'm a black man, I have a lot of melanin. And i have it in my eyes too, so with constant exposure to the sun, my eyes can get tanned too. Interesting, apparently more common with Africans. Haiz, no wonder my mum calls me "kaataan" aka "jungle man" now and then.

Oh well, raining now, mood is severely dampened save for one brave soul who is in constant sms with me since 2 last morning. I thank ye cha bor for the heat u've taken, and you have a merry little xmas too. Unless of course, you're stuck in Orchard Rd in the rain. Then, go have a fucking merry xmas.

Tip to the non-streetwise: Don't spray ah bengs with snow spray cans on Orchard Rd tonight. They might be holding the cans, but it's not for you. It's for the dumb fuck Banglas and Uurus who want to partake in the nation's celebration. Keep out of the way, or the only red and white christmas you'll see is the blood running down your white pressed Raoul shirt.

Adieu!

Back stabbing.

I've gone through exactly 3 years of my SAF life now. And I've only heard of the evil backstabbing politics between colleagues who otherwise have no other intention but to be of the higher order and fast.

In fact, in all the goddamn filthy jobs, and yes I do have sores on my skin to prove them, I also have not encountered this phenomenon. I personally have no idea what the fuck is backstabbing since I derive much pleasure in fucking ppl to their faces. Since that brings greater "brand recognition" and is a good "marketing tool".

Well alas, it happened to me, just last week. Just in time to spread the Christmas Cheer. The culprit is a christian by the way, wonder which church she goes to, and who she got her tutelage under.

Well, story is this, I is of a different department but the department next door just has all the people I click with easily, so when my work is done I'm always there, also due to the PC with the Internet.

Now the boss of this department however is an old fogey and a perennial condescending all round bitch. Everytime she sees ppl who are not her ppl there, mind you her underlings constitute only 1/2 of the room and I'm seated with te other 1/2, her blood jus boils. Is it cos I'm ah neh? Is it cos I got a kiam pah face? God knows. all i know is she did it smartly. Cos, the fuckin bitch took a week long holiday the morning after letting go her poisonous tentacles.

So the bitch goes to her boss and lets go a few nuggets of choice chicken fillet, and I "allegedly" got a shallacking the next day, also kena did a coupla innocent bystanders of which my friend was in the picture. Poor soul, only 2 mths into the job and having her own boss backstab her too.

I just don't get it. Why? Why? Why? Some innert joy? Some childhood issues with an Indian ex bfren? I pondered one whole night and didnt get the answer till some great big discussion over the smoking point, beer at the mess, Xmas function and Pepper crab.

That's when I got it. She's just a dumb old fag who has passed her prime and some poor soul along her life has convinced her that she is in fact "right" and "good" and "fair" and "full of sweet and spice and all things nice".

Alas! I realize now too, God is playing his lil old games. Play on Old Man. I aint affected. I'd just like you to send her some breast cancer cells to sit and stagnate till she's 60 and can't fight it with her immune system no more.

With this, Have a merry Xmas everybody. LEt Santa Claus give you all that you wished for, except Tyra Banks, she's mine. [If someone hasn't already crept up behind him and launched their GINSU knife yet].

Adieu!

Man woman cartoon

Rules for Women.

Another smart ass grab from another site, this time I just forgot the address. Sorry la, but you can only put one thing on the clipboard at a time ok. Fuck Microsoft. Yes, I am a conformist to Bill Gate's culture.

Rules for Women

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail [So is withholding sex].

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as soccer, yesterday's sex, or cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping . ;)

King Kong Mania

It's good when old classics are remade. Well. Watch this scene, scary ass mudderfucker King Kong, jus abouts smacks T-rex till his balls break.

Overheard in a theatre:

Typical tamileh watching the flick near the end when Kong is attacked by the military.

The chick screams, no no don't hurt him.

The order is given anyway.

They start shooting.

Overwhelmed with emotion, the tamileh shouts

"pundamavaneh....avanei utturungada!" [Need a translation? Leave him alone you mudderfuckers!!!]

I like how movies bring you closer to other men. Now big silverback gorillas, that's something else altogether. Adieu!

Legolas the Star.

Watching: Russell Peters "Your momma so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck"

Reading: LKY's memoirs.
Have never read so much hate about any other opposition politician the way he scathes about JBJ, though in a way. He writes in a way that compels you to believe.
P.S. He calls him a poseur.

I just finished Lord of The Rings. Yes, Tolkien's 3 book masterpiece of the fantasy genre, made into huge fuckin ass budget film. If you are already stumped at "Tolkien" and "fantasy", please get the fuck out of ya. I have no time for your "waaaah i love LOTR man ....i love LOTR ..legolas who?"

The star of the movie? Orlando Bloom as Legolas. Fuckin sexy bastard, even being a man my eyes couldnt leave him when he's on screen. Sheeesh. I have to put his shots o'er here. At least for me to masturbate to on my lonely nights.

Oh yes, Gandalf as the White Wizard. Amazing how I notice stuff when its not in boring elvish written by Tolkien. Frodo is such a prick face, I wish they'd given the ring to some other clown to take it to the mountain. Also, explain how his finger gets bitten off then it's all back to normal. If Gandalf is such a good healer... All of Saruman's armies should have been defeated just by sheer wizadry a la WoW [World of Warcraft].

Confession: I hate the book, Tolkien totally put me off the entire genre of fantasy for a good ten years. Even now I can only handle those little slim books. He writes like fuck and only he would understand what the hell he was saying. Wonder who Peter Jackson got his translations from. Movie's not too bad, lot of details lost but heck for a 9 hr condensation of a 3000 page trilogy, not too bad an effort.

Words

I'm going to steal these words of wisdom from Reena. God knows who she stole it frm ;)

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a paralleluniverse.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
23. My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.
24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
48. Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

And of course ah neh's 10 cents worth:
1.Goods that travel by ship: Cargo, Goods that travel by car: Shipment
2.Why is the word "abbreviation" so goddamn long?

Khoo Swee Chiow the Adventurer

Probably, events such as this don't really illicit a huge reaction from you lot cos it is a typical Singapore "do it for the community" bullshit that we simply gloss over.

I'm talking about Khoo Swee Chiow's next record attempt to stay underwater for 10 days. He's done Everest, the North and South pole and reached other adventure pinnacles. Now, he aims to break a record, which to me is like what the hell? What's the point and no motive lei.

Reminds me of Singapore's and Malaysia's obsession with getting into the record books. World's biggest line dance group, biggest roti prata, satay, mee pok, char siew pao. Fark la, the word "record" seems to have totally lost its unique pull now.

A concerned reader such as myself did write in to ask on why the Northeast CDC is sponsoring him to the tune of $150,000. That's a freakin huge sum of money to sponsor a guy who is just going to be underwater for 10 days. Feat or not, if the CDC can put up this kinda money to fund his personal challenge. It might as well have used it to feed more poor and hungry. OR give more welfare vouchers and hampers to the under-progressing population within the North East region.

Khoo replied today with this letter, I have extracted only excerpts but they are verbatim and so the idea of taken out of context doesn't play.

"I do not depend on charity and public funds for a living. My income is derived from giving motivational talks, book royalty,sponsorship and product endorsements.

By doing what I do best, I hope to inspire residents of the district to step out of their comfort zones, try something they havenever dared to do, learn to take setbacks and in the process become stronger people.

Did I do it(Everest) for self glorification? The answer is yes if it means trying to prove to myself and pushing my own physical and mental limits.

When I die, I want my son to be inspired by me.

I also believe that this is my way to contribute to the Singapore I love." [He's a PR btw]

And this was the Northeast CDC's response to the letter writer:

"The Dare to Dream fund aims to develop the spirit of adventure and entrepeneurship among NorthEast district residents.

In the case of Khoo Swee Chiow, the CDC is supporting him with a 1:1 matching grant of the private sponsorship funds gathered by him, capped at $200K.

The fund also supported other athletes and adventurers since 2001."

Ok, Khoo's letter really felt heart warming and good. On the first read at least. You read it again and it sounds so fake. So PR dishwashed and hung out to dry letter. Ultimately, my take is this. Respect to being a "professional" and what you do .It does take balls to be a full time adventurer. But then again, corporate sponsorship is one thing. Hard earned tax money meant to be given back to community is another. The crux of the argument might be that the value of the money is meant to inspire onlookers into doing something drastic and out of the box themselves.

Come on la, we is Sing Chia Por ren.

KNN, Show me the Money!

Cold hard cash does it anyday, for "adventurous" thoughts, there's always Orchard Towers on a lazy Sunday evening.

Nominate for the Siggies

Nominate anyone you think is worth it. Your friends, your hamster, your dead ex-gfren. As long as they blog, do find a category that they might be able to fit into.

Don't lazy. Just email the rascals and they will do the rest themselves.

The Siggies

The Singapore Blog Awards.

P.S. Although Reena thinks its thick skinned, fark care. Put my url down for at least ten. My favourite? "Best Beng blog".

Wilson's Disease

I went to the docs today. Not for the usual M.C., though it is such a tried and tested routine already. MCs during the semester to skip quizzes and labs, MCs during the hols to skip work.

No, actually I went cos of a niggling curiosity of mine about my own health. 2 girlfriends and 1 good friend over the years have tried to compel me to go have a full body exam done cos they insisted that my behaviour was not soo normal. I always thought I was a lazy mofo and the problem was more psychological than physical.

So, I went to the physician to get my eyes checked. I already have myopia of quite a high degree my guess is somewhere around the 500+ region. My left eye is suffering from astigmatism also. That for the un-spectacled is a visual defect in which the unequal curvature of one or more refractive surfaces of the eye, usually the cornea, prevents light rays from focusing clearly at one point on the retina, resulting in blurred vision.

Now, I have a yellow ring around my pupils. I noticed it at 17. Didnt think much of it, thought was just an anomaly of my already partial colour blind eyes [yes, I got that too..don't ask how come I still work in the airforce or drive safely, just whack only ;)]

However, apparently, the yellow rings are actually copper deposits. The body depositing copper there as the liver is not getting rid of it well enough. For 6 goddamn years, I might be the 1 in 50,000 births who is infected with Wilson's disease, so named for the first fella who got it.

Kayser Fleicher Rings

Wilson's disease is an inherited disorder in which excessive amounts of copper accumulate in the body. Symptoms of the disorder appear only later in life, between 6 and 40. The primary consequence for 40% of patients with Wilson's is liver disease. In other patients they include tremor, rigidity, drooling, difficulty with speech, abrupt personality change, grossly inappropriate behavior and unexplicable deterioration of school work, neurosis or psychosis.

The symptoms highlighted are of course those I already have.

Without proper treatment, Wilson's disease is generally fatal, usually by the age of 30.

Ok, I still got 7 years before I may die.

The only thing is this disease is apparently hereditary and no one in my dad/mum's family have had a history of it. Or maybe they did, and jus didnt know. No use investigating on my dad's side, most of them died young.

Oh well, cross fingers and pray? That's what I'm not gonna do. Mwahahha. Just in the off chance that I'm infected with an incurable disease, a la Aman from Kal Ho Naa Ho, I'm a gonna party like its no tomorrow baby. Also, be sure not to inform my insurance companies. I think I'll take out 2 more policies, this time make it to like 5 million. After all need to pay premiums for coupla months only what.

More importantly, its time for that last will and testament where I instruct my mum to:

1.pull the plug if I ever go on life support

2.donate all my usable organs [already my eyes and liver can take out of that list]

3.bury not cremate me [i have these fantasies about having flowers puts on my grave, hope the govt changes the exhumation policy by then]

4.tell her that if I suffer a stroke and become an invalid, to skillfully euthanize me [this one leave it up to her creativity la].

Instead of speculation, shall I just go get the blood tests done then?

P.S. If you need to know how I might die, being a great fan of mine, visit the Euro Wilson organization.

Gifted.

There's been so much brick a brack about GEP (Gifted Education Programme) kids and the normal hardworking kids like you and me.

I think it all comes down to this, somewhere in Pri 4 they make you take this IQ test thinking that if you are smart then you should study with other smarties, in Rosyth School. And then on to a lame ass elitist secondary school where they continue the whole segregation of GEP and Express in Sec 1 already with some placement tests and all that.

Truth is this. The system alienates the supposed "gifted" and the "express" and the "normal" and the "technical". So what the fuck's the big hoo haa about? Well for starters, the top student in the PSLE this year opted to go BPGH which is a damn fine school by itself instead of RGS cos she wanted to do it "neighbourhood". Her political statement was cool till she redid her options and put RGS as 1st place sayin she didnt know that Edusave would cover the expensive school fees.

Around the same time, some GEP and Express students got it on about how those clowns are arrogant and blah blah elitish pricks. On my part, it aint their fault if you look at it. When I was in my independent secondary school in the Bishan region, not naming it not cos of slander but cos I jus dont want to be associated with it; the teachers were quite easily convinced that GEP kids are the smarter ones. Yet, the school called for cohesion and batch spirit. This while all the way, the 7 express classs were on the 1st floor and the 4 gifted ones were on the 2nd floor. We don't meet, we don't speak, we "hate" each other.

Ah boh den, KNN all sit for same 'O' Levels what. So who care if you smarter class? Also, why got no GEP in the tertiary level? Suddenly the gifted ones don't need enriching. Or is it, somewhere along the way, the Express ones got smarter? I just don't get it.

What I say...Scrap the fucking system. Keep things neat and simple. No need for GEP, no need for EM1-3, everyone just study the same goddamn thing. The smart ones will do good, the dumb ones will do bad. The smart ones apply for the top schools and get in, the dumb ones apply for the lesser standard schools and get in to. Everyone studies, and moves along. Instead of labelling, just streamline the system.

Things are getting damn haywire. NUS High School, some clowns no need to sit for O Levels. WTH!? My kid's getting home schooled.That's confirmed. Oh yeah, I'll be in sunny Mauritius by then, so no choice must school at home OR pick coconuts for a living. Hmmm, tough choice.

Long weekend

It's been a really long ass weekend. I cannot take these drinking binges. To binge is to imbibe large amounts of alcohol is a fuckin short period of time. Side effects include, knocking on the wrong door, kissing men who just soo seem like women with moustaches, and of course knocking your friendly neighbourhood punching bag.

I want to forget this weekend. It never happened. I think I shall start tomorrow on a fresh page. No more angst, now it's going to be intellect.

Devan Nair died. I share the grief. He was a great orator of his time, JBJ in fact took quite a few cues from him. And LKY also did depend in the early stages on Devan Nair to scalp PAP victories. The most depressing thing about this ex-President of ours was that he was an alcoholic, at the time of his Presidency which resulted in him stepping down [definitely due to loads of pressure from the government] and of course his utter denial that he ever had a drinking problem in the first place.

Note to Straits Times: Don't start off a piece by glorifying the founder of NTUC and even within the same column remind the reader that he had a drinking problem. Praise the man goddamit, cos without influential and gregarious speakers like him, the British would never have realized the true threat of Communism, thus paving the way for much of the independence process. And he was a PRESIDENT! You really think S R Nathan, Wee Kim Wee, Yusof Ishak had no shortcomings even in their youth? It's time to remember a great man, long forgotten because he refused to come back to Singapore a land he helped to build. Well at least, he realized his true longing for his homeland by wanting his remains brought here.

Thus, here goes. A toast to C.V. Devan Nair, ex-president, union activist and founding father of Singapore. Hip Hip Hooray!

I need to end this here. Standby for blogicide, I have my ten cents worth on it in a bit, my 2 cents are free. Adieu!

s.h.a.n.k.e.r

I is thorougly amused. Erotic recreation sia. Is that the same as an erection?

Try it out. http://sexy.namedecoder.com

Tony Soprano and Me

I have to stop watching The Sopranos. I identify with Tony too much. Tony Soprano is the head of a New Jersey family. He rules with a tight hand, has an eye for fast women [even his own cousin's wife he don mind doing]. You fuck with him, he don't care even if you are family or friend, you're screwed. No 2 ways about it. Kapeesh?

Tony is an angry man. I see my anger in him, sometimes looking at someone just like you from a 3rd person makes more sense than having someone tell you bout it. I apologize now to friend or foe who has told me to keep my anger in check in the past only to be greeted with the middle finger.

I think I need anger management therapy. Teach myself ways to dissipate the frustrations I seem to collect at the end of each day. I am also a revengeful kniving S.O.B. who will stop at nothing to get my fair and just take on the situation. I can wait years to kill. He can to. Although, he just kinda snaps his fingers, nods his head and his younger cousin will finish the bozo.

The one thing I saw in Tony is that he cannot take it, he gets fucking buay song if some clown in his life manages to get over a hurdle that he himself is facing. In the latest episode I caught on Tuesday, it was anger management.

The short of it is this. Tony's sis hits another soccer mum cos she claimed her kid was intentionally tripping her kid the whole day on the pitch. Made big news, also concentrating on her supposed Mafia links. Tony gets pissed, tells his sis to sort herself out, she does. She checks into anger management. on her 1st day, she manages to rile a homosexual and a Negro lady. But progress is made. Tony's sis gets cured of her anger problem, she even doesnt hang up on irritating telemarketers instead being polite to them.

Tony on the other hand brought up the same anger issues with his shrink. But makes no headway. Seeing his sis being happy and cheerful jus pisses him off. So he sits himself down to dinner. Lets his sis's stepchildren know she had a kid once and she abandoned him. Also pisses her off by bringing up how she grew up without a mum and how she's doing it too to her kid.

The sis also buay song, she took a dinner knife to tiok him. Tony leaves with this motherfucking smirk that is classic.

I'd sooo do this to my own brother. If there was a similar situation. Which brings me to my point. I gotta stop watching the Sopranos and get help .Know any good shrinks?

"You answer to me like I'm Jesus Christ himself, and if you fuckin' lie to me, may your mother die of cancer of the eyes!"

I did not blog today.

I did not blog today.

On, another note, I don't expect much from people. Say only what you can do, and if you can't don't say. In the event you couldn't, apologize quick before it gets to me. I am quicksand, I never settle. Thank you for your time. Now please go fuck yourself.

"Cakap tak guna, tembak tak kena."

Also, I'm going to put up the rest of the Christmas wishlist tomorrow, this time, the affordable range.

"Be a man, do the right thing."

I know who sent this in

I bet I know who sent these in to Postsecret:

This is a true incident. Happened at the Ngee Ann City Fountain. I hope to god it's him/her. Call me man, I got more ideas for ya. Btw, damage to pump all the water out and pump it back in. Estimated at $5,000.

This ah-pek in my block. My block must be the richest in the district. Every mofo here scrimps and saves by living in a 4 room flat and can afford Mercedes E classes. Please learn to park la uncle, and no, just cos you can't see without your specs doesn't mean you get to use the handicapped slot.

The millions of women throughout the world who have suffered date rape. It is a real problem. Don't keep mum, fight it, report it. Throw em in the slammer. To the boys, don't force it, its much sweeter given FOC.Me. Yes, I was in one of my moods. Forgive me, he shouldn't have bend over to get the soap. I'm sorry, I won't do it again.

Hooligans

I'm still enamoured with football firms, aka hooligans. Their preparation is fantastic, they all have monikers, some are even affiliated politically. And the best firm in London is? CHELSEA CHELSEA!

Another brief outline:

A football firm is an organized gang that engage in fights with firms supporting other clubs. The fights mostly take place far away from the football grounds to make it as hard as possible for police and other law enforcement to interrupt. Football firm violence has in many countries replaced the more unorganized violence related to sports.

To avoid attracting the attention of police, many UK hooligans began to wear expensive European designer clothing in the .Designers popular with UK football firms include Abercrombie and Fitch, Burberry and Lacoste.

Coupla Firms you'd love to know:

1. Arsenal - The Herd [Shit football, shit firm]
2. Manchester United - Men In Black [Blardy ironic right?]

3. Liverpool - Urchins [Mwhahhahahahhaha!]

3. Chelsea - Headhunters

Also affiliated with white supremacist orgs like the Ku Klux Klan. Most famous Chelsea thug ever was "Babs" who was black. WTF! a Black white supremacist. Fugger's brain got fried in the fish n chips shop i guess. Current head is "Nightmare". His calling card, "It's the Nightmare calling - are you boys ready?"

And, the more zany names:

1. Birmingham - Zulu Warriors
2. Leicester - Baby Squad
3. Portsmouth - 6:57 Crew

I'm inspired. What say we start a firm for Home United call it the Bishan Buffoons. Or maybe, Tampines since they the champs. Call it The Stag Elite.
Meanwhile, we'll make a tee first, every firm needs identification. How bout this one?

CSKA's firm

Of Bowling and Pool

Today I brought my younger brother and our cousin out bowling. Sounded exciting last night when he told me bout it. Didnt sound the same when I woke up at noon. Sheesh, I hate daylight. Daylight, sunlight, fark even the beautiful setting evening sun that brings tears to ppl more metro than me pisses me off. Well ok, so we went and I realize I was with 2 bowling virgins.

Now, I have no problem with virgins. I just have a problem with patience. I hate to teach. Do not tell my tuition kids that, but yeah sometimes I just zone out there and then when I'm with them thinking how best to shut up that darn irritating "Teacher...teacher...how to do this..how to do that..where is this put" and of course the first word every fella who enters pri 1 learns.

WHY.

why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why.

This word irritates me SO much, I even had to use ctrl c and v to output the above lines.

Ok, so we reached the friggin bowl. Nostalgia rushes in, ah, this is where I thrashed my dear old JC friend when he tried showing off during maths lect. Ok, now the lesson. Dear boys, that's a bowl, that's a lane, that's a frame, that's a game. This's a spare, this's a strike. Don't worry bout the turkey, it's not for punks like you.

Of course, as all "positive examples of leadership" should do, you should step up to the plate, and show how its done. As was expected of me, 9 years their senior, supposedly bowling and blowing in my dreams. This is where i panicked. I never bruff you. I fuckin told myself. Hong kan ah! All I gotta do to ruin my face here, is bowl into the gutter. I also never bruff you this, I prayed. I didnt even pray to stay in school when I saw my result slip full of Fs. But, I prayd, that at least 5 pins got knocked down. Stepped up.

And striked. Damn! I'm good. Face saved, I proceed to start my lecture full swing. Ball control, release angle, direction of body. Every damn nuance just to confuse 2 14 yr old boys that I am the supreme master and will remain so. God forbid they find a game they excel in better than me. I heard both of em are into computer games a lot these days.

Guess what I'm doing?

C:\ run fifa2006.exe

No time to waste.

Bullseye

Kingpin: "How do you kill a man without fear?"

Bullseye: "By putting the fear in him."

Career?

Shanker, based on your responses, your top career area is Law and Enforcement

Careers in this field often demand that you be exceptionally responsive to the environment around you. Most professions in the law and enforcement field require quick thinking and acting. In addition, some jobs within this field have a tendency to be unpredictable. A dull day can quickly turn into an action packed adventure.

What a load of crap, for all my dashing charisma, I'm just gonna be a 2 bit cop now? At least specific la..FBI agent, DEA undercover something James-Bondish la.. KNN!

However, if I did end up being a cop, this is what I'd be driving. And no, I only do PIE chases. Yes, all you farkers who zheng ur Honda Civics and drive ur Skylines like you actually know how to handle that car. The boogey man's here.

Lamborghini Police Car

But yet, I'm right, while doing that test, I kinda realized that I really am in the wrong fuckin job. Wrong in more ways than one. No match whatsoever to whatever I believe I'm truly qualified in.

Where do i go from here? Only God knows.

30 interesting facts

Last seen on mr brown's blog, I just have to share this.

Go look see at 30 interesting facts about:

Chuck Norris

Mr T
Vin Diesel

Ode to Sleep

I got a question. How is it that people get a good night's sleep. Or even a period of good sleep. More importantly, is everyone who says I woke up feeling fresh a mudderfuckin liar?

I need the answer. How do I wake up fresh?

My typical waking up routine [ok la...I only wake in the afternoons, evenings if i've been drinking the night before..but yeah, still applies right?] This routine exists only cos I die die cannot wake up to a HP alarm or a conventional alarm clock.

1. Yawn! Wake me up in 15 minutes time.

2. Yawn! Wake me up in 15 minutes time.

3. Yawn! Wake me up in 15 minutes time.

Then ultimately I'll wake la, cept 45 mins has passed, I'm late for work/school/wateva.

The taste in my mouth sickens. I have no idea what's been decomposing between the teeth and gums while i napped.

My eyes are glued shut with that "eye shit" [for lack of a better word, I shall use the chinese term].

My nose itches, wait for my bath it will start to run. Yes, I have early morning sinusitis. A real bitch of an ailment that. Ask anyone who speaks to me in the morning, I cannot handle more than 10 seconds of conversation without dabbing my nostrils with my hanky. Oh yes, I do carry top quality Renoma hankies..so no qualms bout hygiene there.

In this dizzy state, still my body aches, my head throbs, this is not a hangover mind u. I experience this every single day. Tried different mattresses, different beds, different rooms, even sleeping in North-South direction [apparently it aligns ur individual cells to the true magnetic heading of the earth so you are one with the universe].

Help me! I can't wake up feeling fresh.What do i do, what do i do?

Die la, this coupled with my nocturnal-sleep-in-the-day cycle. Die la Die la!

Adieu!