Bucket Shitlist

Let's do lists.

1. Freerice.com is a good site. Not because it donates grains of rice to the impoverished bloated [surprising how you get fatter i.e. bloat when you don't eat enough. Scary for ultimate dieters], but because you get to play a uber cool vocabulary game. Try it. I am hovering around Level 40. Really gets you crashing down to earth knowing that 40 is probably the median level across the globe. Damn, my language sucks.

2. Bucket List with 2 old men who have seen and made them all in the short years I've spent growing up. Both have cancer. Both are now on their "Kick the Bucket List". Cliched list of stuff you wanna do when you have nothing to lose and want to leave this life thinking you have made an impact and have seen it all.

They travel all over the fuckin world seeing sights they never would have if they didn't write this list. Even Hongkong, though for what I had no idea. No one spoke about Singapore ever. But seriously, if you would want to do something before you died, most probably your list would be filled with natural wonders. The mountains in the Himalayas, the Great Wall of China, the grasslands of Africa and the Grand Canyon. These are tangible surroundings providing intangible feelings. What the hell would you come to Singapore for? A question for the STB to answer probably. IS there really anything here that someone close to death would want to come and see or do before he passes away? Is anything here befitting of a sense of achievement? Breakfast with Ah Meng probably is the best a CIVIL SERVANT will come up with. But the other orang utans got together and poisoned him with arsenic slowly. Booyakasha.

I hate fucking movie reviews that go on and on about the plot, the build up, the character developments and even the wardrobe. Crap. Here're some quotes. Cos the script is the only thing that makes a movie, period.

When Freeman disagrees with Nicholson on something:

Edward Cole: The sequel was like that. She never backed me up on anything.
Carter Chambers: The sequel?
Edward Cole: The second Mrs Edward Cole.
[Carter rolls his eyes]
Edward Cole: Hell, that woman hated me.
Kyle the parachutist: Maybe because you called her the sequel.

In an ought-to-be emo scene, Nicholson's assistant speaks:

Thomas: I'm proud of you.
Edward Cole: Nobody cares what you think.

When discussing reincarnation and how people move either up/down a step through their different births:

Edward Cole: What does a snail have to do to reincarnate? Leave the perfect trail of slime?

Adieu!

Mooting Morals

Betrayal. There, i was thinking the whole night on the most appropriate word to utilize in yesterday's scenario. I bet the protagonist doesn't think it was betrayal, it'd be the last thing to occur to her.

Here's the sorry ass tale for all you voyeurs who relish your 5 min peek into my exciting life.

Let me be A and let 2 others be B and C. Let the onlooker be D.

So, with A's instructions, B and C carry out something. There was possibly a thin, very thin line of risk of involved. In our speak, it wasn't a double condom operation. So, B goes away thinking nothing's wrong. C was concerned just a lil bit but not enough to raise a big hoo haa over. Enter D.

D being a level up from me manages to work the word "uncomfortable". And she worked it in her post-op phone calls to B and C that effectively managed their conversion from "nothing happened ma.." to "oh! now that WAS uncomfortable. you for real?".

Who's the bullseye? A.

Now consider that A and D work together whereas B and C are calafare other beings. Why the need to push your opinion and moral issues onto another who is your own colleague, effectively changing the opinion of history.

I give up. Positive negative lesson learnt: If you got an opinion that MIGHT bring another down, just keep it to yourself till you reach for the beer or the fags. No one is paying you to be their moral compass.

"I'd love to answer that question Sir, but it's not within my pay grade to do so" - 1WO XXX

Adieu!

Fighting Spirit

Fighting Spirit.


And during the interval, the cheerleaders will pick a member of the crowd and go:

"You see that tree over there.............?"
"Uh huh"
"By the time we squeal 1 to 10, you get there touch it and run back here or that's your weekend burnt"
"Uh huh"

Sundal Sunday

1. I told Rakoon to open the shop at 830 am. He tells me he wants to do it at 845 cos he wanted to be a prick. Fine, go ahead. Then why the hell was I woken up at 7 am?

R: Bro, send the vehicle, I'm at the gate.
S: Huh? What? [why is my hand in my pants?]
R: Come lei.
S: I'll think about it. Don't disturb me.

But I can't really pull off "asshole" when I've just woken. Yukio Mishima fresh in my mind [book conveniently lifted from O Mess, not to be confused with the prostituted O Drive]. Crazy ass delusional motherfucker. Like me.

Apologies Alvin. For making you make the trip. I hope your morning breath wasn't too infective.

2. The mum's birthday is today. Filial piety frothed to the brim, in the mouth out the nostrils at about 7 am, the witching hour. So, she thanks me for my early wishes and asks me what I want for breakfast. Prata was the call. Soon, Tay [the beached whale in the Del Mar pics] asks what I would like for breakfast too. The cliched "1 set of anything and coffee".

I got 2 egg pratas. I come home to 4 more waiting for me. I need a petal shower. Kuan Yin hates my guts.

3. Ruby is being quite emo about getting late in-times. He ought to stop. The probability is quite even that one of the 3 gets to do it. But of course, for it to happen on a Monday needs some intervention to hit the 33% jackpot.

Hope you like the damn thing Mumbly. I had to bring it in from the States.

In happier times. Actually, it was my alleged "farewell" day.
Work the moment, bitch.

Adieu!

Kao Chai Mai?

The OC comes to me today and asks if I have any shower foam. I thought of taking a crack at foamy loamy seas and da "Keep It Real" Orange County, mischa bartonbatty girl but that single gold bar was quite a convincing mouth shutter-upper.

The man after painstakingly purchasing a piano for his twin cuddley-doos needed to go to church like every good Christian dad should. But he needed a shower. Perhaps he wasn't aware of my once-in-a-week shower routine, all inspired by the recent Earth Hour and my Bono underwear. I passed him a blue bottle. He was "appalled", to quote another superior who managed to send me an e-mail on my disgusting attitude, to the account which has been under the control of "how to switch off an ipod" computer rocket scientists for the past week.

If you aren't following, that was the fuckin intention. If you think you have an idea on what's going on, you're wrong. Otherwise, you're right where you oughta be. Here. With me. hug hug kiss kiss. kthxbye.

So, anyhow, upon firm recommendations that the miscible liquid swirling in a Claremont Hotel frisked container was similar to most all-in-one, face/body/shithole dispensers that are abused daily by the heels of grimy palms, he went for a much needed shower. That wily old boy.

I can only hope his wife doesn't take a whiff and decide he has been indulging in "foreign talent". It would be a real problem for the piano tuner.

For every Khap Khun Kap, there's a Mai Pen Rai Kap in the brewerkz.

neung song saam see ha hok jet paet gow sip. There's a little Cantonese in everybody.

Chai.

In other news, me and Nattapon have a Songkran date. Feel free to join in. Sunday the 13th.

I.M.D. Walrus

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.

Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess.

Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.

I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.

I am the walrus,

goo goo g'joob !

Career People

THE CAREER GIRL

THE CAREER YOGI

THE CAREER SOLDIER

Damn, I gotta pick up the game. It is pretty alienating when you'd like to get outa your pants, bare your Diesels, get into comfy PT shorts and you have no idea why the service changes after X number of points. Rueben is the bullying, soft speaking, hard hitting teacher. Another challenge, another quarter.

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full." - Henry Kissinger

Who is She?

Standby weeknights.

Just in Singapore.

9 pm.

Who the fuck is Rayson Tan's [Jian Hui] evil malicious wife who tries to steal the $5 mill vat for herself with her snotty lover?

Winner gets a Toblerone. Losers read Kafka out loud to me. A chapter a night.

K thanks thanks.

I would say watch this spot, but I know i aint gonna be back for the next few weeks at least.

Adieu!

P.S. Before you wonder. Yes. I'm "enter" key happy.

Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay

She had fire in her soul it was easy to see,
how the devil himself could be pulled out of me [like that's so hard :p]

Einstein the Bird

Aptly named Einstein, do not fast forward or you'll miss critical portions of this brainiac.

Valentine's Day Flowers 2008

WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS FOR 2008!

Why wait for prices to rise to the sky near Valentine's Day?

Do you forget about flowers every year only to pay through the roof for a last minute bouquet?


Are you a student and unable to afford the heavily priced ready made bouquets?

Place your order now for the most affordable option around and you won't even have to worry about forgetting to send flowers.

On the spot confirmation of order after payment is received.

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Ah Neh's Shop

Drive me Crazy

Now you know why they shouldn't drive? Go ahead flip your finger with no reservations at all felines behind the wheel.


NB: This post went up only because you said this was becoming a joke of the day site. I had to re-read the message to see if what you meant was it was becoming a joke. My problem? Grin.

Blue Heeler

A ranter I'm impressed with: The Blue Heeler.

Commentary on both sides of the Johor Straits coupled with evidenciary links that take you to sites you wouldn't normally trawl for info.

Adieu!

Kid's Say The Darndest Thing

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

- Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

- Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.

- Freddie, age 6

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.

- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

- Lynnette, age 8

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that. Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.

-Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they're rich.

- Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

- Curt, age 7

(3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.

- Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

- Kelvin, age 8 *my personal favourite, the child genius

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.

- Ricky, age 10

Stand by one. Minor overhaul and deleting of spare parts past their warranty in progress on this page.

Carcinogen

Laughter, peace, motherfuckin' fun and ME. Something everyone needs more of.

Seen at the workplace, pasted just below the window ledge in the rest room where we eat, rest [doh] and catch up on ChannelNewsAsia:

Please do not throw your cigarette butts out of the window.
The cockroaches are getting cancer.

Adieu!

We are the Bhai of Mumbai

When gangsters wax lyrical. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the subtitled version. Just ask a friend will ya.

Adieu!

Christian Calling Cards

The Bible has many urm, interesting passages:

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door.

Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message : 'Genesis 3:10.'

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins with : 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.'

Genesis 3:10 reads : 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'

Push Ups

A: Good morning to you Sir.
Me: Let's dispense with the formalities. Just give me 20 push ups.
[pregnant pause]
A: Urm. I don't use those.

HHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAA. KNN. I have not laughed liked this since like urm Wacko Jacko was still black.

Adieu!

Are You Clear?

Because everyone needs a credit card they don't really need.

New Sintercom

I write for New Sintercom too.
Click HERE.

Modern Protocol

Modern Protocol

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever ! you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong! and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books

Adieu!

Dear Walter

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.

I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her.

I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months.

I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Mrs. Sheila Usk


Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

Walter

Lesson learnt? Ask the right questions of the right people. Otherwise, just say "I'd love to answer that but it's not within my pay grade to do so"

Raise Them Right

The right way to raise your offspring and spotting the genius in them.

Ad Man's Dream

The stuff ad men dream off. I fink. Or maybe good candidates for a caption contest.

Coma Sutra

A new festive creation from TshirtHell.com.
Try this on for size.

Suck on This

For heaven's sake. Don't they put disclaimers on beach chairs anymore?
The "Balls may get stuck" kind.

Power Volley

It was a simple volleyball tournament. The different factions [Red, Blue, Green, Yellow] of the institute I was in would square off round robin style and then the victors will gain points accordingly to see who was the "sportiest" faction for that work year. Simple concept? Not so simple when you view the management of the institute proper that had an imbalance of a certain "coloured" people.

So, the first game got underway. Yellow and Green went at it. Everyone loves to hate Green so it was not too painful to watch them lose though we actually have more Green friends than Yellow friends [make that 0 Yellow friends].

Then, it was Blue Vs. Red. Blue is us, and we were there in full force. Masculine pom pom-mers. Players kitted out in their regalia and coach reviewing the team list. We had mass participation from middle management to the lowly scrubs, it was a real team affair.

Alas, Red was nowhere to be seen! The rules and regulations clearly state that in the event of a no-show after 15 minutes from the promulgated match time, there would be a walkover for the opponents. The organizer, notably not highly ranked in the social echelon enough to put his foot down and make that decision decides to "wait it out", going to the extent of calling up the Red teamsters enquiring as to where the hell they were!

The truth unfolds slowly. The bald dude in charge of forming the Red team, had gone on "my wife is pregnant" leave. Neither did he bother to forward his mail to someone else who could handle his duties in his absence. As a result, they were none the wiser. Now I show you the org chart.

Although, the organizer on hand was of the lower 'uns, the main man in charge of the smooth flow of the tourney was .... drumroll.... a RED man [Red 2]! He's a friend of mine so I shan't go about too much on his ass. In the crowd, there were murmurs of dissension. Was there gonna be a legal and righteous walkover or not? Or was the kelong element going to rear it's ugly head again based on the handshake pacts and hush hush phone calls of the top echelon. Namely, Blue 1 and Red 1. Now, we consider the implications.

In the event that the Blue PPL had already plonked their effort and ass on the court awaiting the match and there was no walkover forthcoming, a lot of "face" will now be lost. The Blue PPL are gonna be generating some chewy phlegm to greet Blue 1 in the event that he allows a "friendly-let's just play it another day" end state. Red 2 as the overall co-ordinator is gonna be looked down on for seemingly siding with his Red counterparts although his position should in fact guarantee impartial judgments.

End? There WAS a walkover. Not before lots of badgering and foul faces. Still, it was a thin line between polluting the minds of 18-19 year olds that rules and regulations are just superficially there to look good on printed paper whereas they're easily bent and rendered void based on some top echelon agreements. Though, this didn't occur here, it IS permeating thru all levels of our society. Work, school, social settings and what not. The moment you show it obviously that rules can be bent based on whims, then why the fuck do you bother to pen out rules anyway?

Still, there is another group of bozos who don't even know why a regulation is there and what exactly it regulates. As long as it is in a nice red leather covered binder. Observe below.

When asked why a certain rule was such back in Secondary 3, a brilliant teacher retorts:

"Rules are meant to be followed because they are rules!"

Adieu!

Soccerama

Just reminiscing about the past 4 months with the boys and yeah, I'm gonna fuckin miss them. Each and everyone of the cadets. One of the happier moments apart from the daily "chanting" we receive that has landed at least one of us one step closer to an appointment with the ear doctor.

Why does one voluntarily come up with a proposal to organize a street soccer tournament? Cos, you're damn cock sure you're gonna win it that's why.

A small tete a tete with the a member of the team that finished 3rd reveals all.

He: Wah, you damn steady ah. Organize the tournament. Go and choose the medal. Buy the medal. Collect the medal. Later, awarded the medal.

Me: Ah boh. If not do for what?

Ma boys, the winners, in white vests. Staff in white too. Yellow are 3rd. Orange are 2nd. Booya! Interestingly the only 3 who didn't play on our team are the three "sideliners" from the course:

I wouldn't dare close this topic without some bragging. A vid of the magical steal and shot and "almost" goal. "Almost" Goal 3 of a 7-3 routing:

For maximum appreciation, do rewind and play, rewind and play till you get it in your dumb numbskull, Jabroni!

Risque Rice

And so it is just like you said it would be. Life goes easy on me most of the time. And so it is the shorter story. No love, no glory, no hero in her skies.

And so it is just like you said it should be. We'll both forget the breeze most of the time. And so it is the colder water, the blower's daughter. The pupil in denial.

Did I say that I loathe you? Did I say that I want to leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you......
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind.........off you.

Uniformed Politics

What kinda political system are we really in? Democracy? Socialist? Democratic socialism? Socialist democracy?

I say we're actually really communist. Judging from how workplace politics works in most of our civil and corporate joints.

Not going into specific details and time periods lest I get banged for getting factual incidents wrong, this is a comparative study on the great tiger, China and us [all aspects of our daily work].

1. People were often forced to make self criticisms by people who apparently were incapable of mistakes.

I see this every fuckin day. 2 cases in point. See, I have a bloke who works with me. To call him a colleague would be to fuckin glorify his already scum like presence. He's the kind who stands on a lower footing than one and yet "good naturedly for the good of the people" decides he is qualified enough to teach and impart his already limited knowledge on the subject at hand. Have you ever come across people who don't know jack shit yet profess to be experts? Yes, a handy skill when you are chatting up a chick who is into Impressionist Art. But, not if you are talking about technical expertise on a highly isolated subject and job scope. Did I mention, he is infallible? The Debrief King we call him. He fucks it up, he debriefs you. You fuck it up, he debriefs you too. What gives?

Recently, there was another major incident that could have resulted in the death of someone who had collapsed just cos of major incompetency and lack of balls to take a decision-itis. Yet, when the shit hit the fan, people didn't quite rush to the defence of the guy who DID have the balls to make a quick decision to possibly save a human life. Instead, they held back their comments in support to see what tack the higher-ups will take. Just like if Chairman Mao says you are a "capitalist roader", these are the ones who will quickie label ya and even pay for the tattoo for it on your forehead willingly with their last penny as long as their immediate boss says that's the way it goes.

P.S. None of the characters in the second tale is me.

2. Don't be fooled by being asked to speak up about your grievances. It is a death-trap.

I believe the fashionable word for this is "open reporting" or "workplace climate survey". Something like when the Communists said tell us your grievances and we'll sort it out. Most of them got labelled as siding with the capitalist powers trying to inject poison into their foolproof system and got tortured and hanged as a result. Or imprisoned in-house.

Last year, when a similar climate survey was done. 4 people I know flagged up very pertinent points on the incompetency of their big boss vehemently. Guess what? They weren't even given the survey to do this time. How cool is that? Less paperwork. Less bad press more importantly.

Personally, you speak up against someone who thinks they got it all sewed up just fine just invites a labelling of "bad attitude", "going against the grain", "attempting to incite the innocents against the system". Seriously, go fuck yourself. If you're wrong and basically sometimes suck at doing your job, you should be told so and not be a sensitive teenage prick when told so. If you're wrong all the time, you should be thrown out of your appointment and asked to take a hike. Because every second more you occupy that seat is a danger to the mental and physical states of everyone under you.

3. The Boss is right. Whichever boss it is.

Ask anyone who is involved in a permanent job. No one really gives a flying fuck how the entire organization functions, except when it comes to salaries and bonuses. What matters most is your immediate and direct superior. See, you may go through 3 to 4 levels to hit the real Big Boss, but it's the one you directly report to first that's the most vital. Most vital to mental incapacity that is. Interestingly, when addressing any manpower grievances, the organization you work in probably thinks flinging money at you will make you stay longer and keep your gap shut. What about job satisfaction? What about working under incompetent losers? People who claim their own typographical and oral errors are of your stupidity and bad hearing.

Back in Communist China [like as if their political slants have changed], the local councils or chapters meant shit to the main man. If he says, make steel. You make steel. No one cares if you can't eat steel as opposed to crops. You just make steel.

Weed them out! Cut them with shears. Hear them scream. The next time you think the one directly above you is crap and looks out for their ass more than the hundreds below him, ask for a transfer. Better yet, quit. Trust me, it will be the best decision of your life.

Adieu!

4 Values

It's the norm or fad these days to quickly institute a plethora of values or principles we should adopt and follow to the T to ensure that the organization follows the same frequency and achieve maximum results.

Even at primary school, some values are fed into the syllabus and case-studies shown or talked about subliminally reinforcing the need to uphold that value. In my workplace we have 4 values we're supposed to abide by. Competency, Tenacity, Fortitude and Dynamism. And so, one fine day, like on many other fine (and rainy) days, some smart dude told another smart dude: "Hey, wouldn't it be great if we could do a presentation to correlate the 4 values? It'd look great!".

And thus the bow was strung, the arrow flew and it pierces all in its path, mercilessly. Regardless of race, language or religion. How do you put these 4 supposed all encompassing values together and still make it look seamless? Thankfully, we had beer.

This was the most brilliant thing I've ever heard or come up with in my lifetime. Pity, of all things lacking in my organization, a sense of humour is top on the list.

Now, visualize:

Slide 1: Welcome Slide
Slide 2: Scope
Slide 3: The Lottery Game [in big bold letters with Star Wars accompaniment music]
Slide 4: "Every week without fail, we buy 4D. Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday, everyday also we go and buy" ---> FORTITUDE
Slide 5: "When we buy, we buy damn fierce wan if we think we sure tiok. Sometimes 50 big 50 small" ---> TENACITY
Slide 6: "When we decide what number to buy, we know which circles to shade on the forms. Never has a 4D slip gone to waste under our watchful eyes" ----> COMPETENCY
Slide 7: "Notwithstanding 4D, TOTO and Singapore Sweep also we whack on a weekly and monthly basis" ---> DYNAMISM
Slide 8: Conclusion
Slide 9: QnA


Adieu!