Death by Water

So, I tell my mum I'm getting a new laptop. And she asks:

Mum: For you ah?

Me: Not really, I can use my this computer till it dies.

Mum: Then? Why, expensive right these things.

Me: Can la, I can handle. Can give Arul use also what, then he don't need to keep using his mp3 player space to transfer files to his friends' laptop. Got camera phone already, Creative Zen already, next is a laptop la.

Mum: Don't pamper him la.

Me: If can, we must give, don't want him turn out like me, always yearning.

Mum: So, I never provide for you la.

Me: No comment. You didn't have the dough, I do.

Mum: blah blah blah blah blah, say i no good mother, blah blah blah blah blah. Eat already not?

Me: What you cook?

Mum: Sardine

Me: You still dare ask.

Me: blah blah blah blah blah, you know i hate it yet you only cook that, blah blah blah. Ok, I going to sleep.

Mum: Got work in the morning?

Me: Two days leave.

Mum: So, two days out drinking la.

Me: No, I got work to do.

[show my nice white A4 envelope with work stuff that someone endearingly referred to as "homework" last night during the post-work beers]

First there were none. Sporadically one...or two....but always leading to none. Barren, I is. Now, suddenly with the SW Monsoon, there are 4.

1 is a KL shuttler. Fine by me. KL is much cheaper than Koh Samui. I can go.

1 is going to be married soon. Also, fine by me. The Karma account is debited on your side not mine.

1 is attempting to find me 1 more. That makes the total 4 still, so no change.

1, I also don't know what to say, in the whole I got cheated on phase. And instead of getting pissed, is making excuses for the ex. Hmmm, why ! why! why!

Sad days, these days. When I actually have to put effort. Haiz.

As Bernard/Lawrence/Me/Unknown Encik concurred last night:

"It's all in the game. There are no 2 ways about it, you pack of balls"

What followed is immaterial but I'll include it anyway:

Q: "Shall we get the P-man drunk on his customary limit of 6 cans of beer and strip him to do a bar top dance?"

A: "Nah, why bar top. We strip him and ask him to teach us how to walk on water"

[The swimming pool is strategically located 3 metres from the tables we drink at]

I actually don't want no part of this. So, when the day comes, this Friday actually. I'm gonna sit and sip or gulp or what not I'm forced to do, and just close my eyes slowly slowly and go to imaginary drunken sleep when the festivities begin. Death by "walking on water" is just not the extent to which I hate him.

3 more days. 2 days leave. 1 more working day.

ORD Loh!