It was one of those days. You couldn't call it a bad day. You couldn't call it a good day. Yet when both type of events occur concurrently or alternately, they kinda cancel themselves out. So, what kinda day is it? It's a subjectless day. It cannot be defined with one single emotion. Thus, I is just going to list every goddamn thing that happened.
1. By sheer luck and talent, my mum's vegetarianism [Hindu..Tuesday..you know the drill] didn't mean she had to skip lunch. Though, she had better learn that most vegan stalls in the markets and coffee shops close shop after lunch or just before. Thankfully, I had the number to another of the stall owners who managed to capture the last plate of what-not for me. Nod nod. Filial son role complete.
2. There is one good thing with siblings stealing your stuff. Especially when you have a vain brother who wants to die-die-must-try your white Nikes. What does he do when he realizes the apparent WHITE shoes he wants, is quite BLACK. It's been that way for the past 6 months actually, I've never got around to cleaning it up. So, shoes gets stolen, gets cleaned thoroughly before it gets stolen, and I have a spanking sparkling pair of white sneakers to wear out.
3. The motorized ionizer thingamachit installed in the new green Gilette Mach 3s is crap. Only a cunt would buy the product cos of that. Or maybe cunts do get influenced by Beckham. The fuckin thing costs over $25 for god's sake. A shaver you know. A hand powered shaver costs more than 25 buckeroos. If not for the fact that mine got stolen [read bout it in earlier entries], and that this was the only one left in the 7-11, I'd have never got it. I is thinking, I is switching to my dad's old school razor blade ones.
4. Why is it that I can't ask anyone if there is a florist in the area without being interrogated on who I'm going out with currently? Can you not get flowers for weddings, funerals, congratulatory bouquets, wreaths, to smell, to do some artwork with, to simply know for general knowledge if there really IS a florist in the area?
5. My bus stalled today. The biggest bummer of all was that it was only 1 more stop to the stop I get down at. Though, one stop doesn't seem like much. It's one of those, 500 metres away and we didn't place another stop in between cos there wasn't any space to kinda consecutive stops. Not the first time my bus has stalled. But no, it had to stall when I was so friggin hungry I could have satisfied myself by tearing out the cushioned seats and devouring them, fibres and all. I've also gotten into a bus-accident before where a taxi slammed into the side of the bus I was in. Since it was a single-decker, we felt the full brunt of the impact and nearly toppled over sideways. The next suay thing is probably to get into an MRT accident. Oh wait, more suay than that is to let your MRT stall, and you're in the middle of some tunnel. Gone case.
6. I had a combo-lunch and a combo-dinner today. Lunch was mee goreng xtra chilli followed by 3 dollar chicken rice, roasted chicken, xtra black sauce, xtra chilli, add one tau pok and add one more bowl of rice. My dinner was 2 egg pratas drenched for a mandatory 15 mins while I watched some comedy re-runs, followed by economy mixed rice consisting of beancurd, rice, chicken curry, egg and kai lan. *Burp*
7. Everytime I'm left with exactly ten dollars in my pockets these days, I don't ponder what I can purchase with the cash. Instead, I think to myself, DON'T buy anything, this is tomorrow's finance for fags. Haiz.
8. Don't ever trust buses that have letters adjoined at the back. I.e. If you was to sit on a 74, don't action bedek go take a 74A or a 74B just cos you think they go the same way and stop the same place. IF they were to do that, they wouldn't be numbered differently would they? Fatal error today. I shall not repeat it. Damn those buses. Fark whatever bus company is holding the monopoly now. NNB. Every 2 days my EzLink Card goes to $0, you think fucking funny ah?
9. Why on some days the fuckin Straits Times fat like a bloated sperm whale and on certain days it's so thin even substituting it for toilet paper will not suffice for even one dump? Same with The New Paper. KNN. I pay 70 cents now compared to 50 when they first started out. And instead of more news, all I see is more massage parlours taking up ads. How hard is it to decipher the termed "Attached bathrooms", "Local/Foreign Sweet Girls with Excellent Service" to know what kinda establishment you're operating? KNN.
10. I am not sure why but my house coffeeshop has this penchant for hiring half-half assistants. First there was this guy who behaved like a girl. Now there's this lady who looks like a man. I'm very stressed. Especially when they are the ones delivering the drinks. The man I was cool with, he runs errands and buys 4D numbers for me when I not free. But, this woman. I is belching and retching and all things vomitary in nature. Please David [the owner] sack the biatch!
Adieu!
1. By sheer luck and talent, my mum's vegetarianism [Hindu..Tuesday..you know the drill] didn't mean she had to skip lunch. Though, she had better learn that most vegan stalls in the markets and coffee shops close shop after lunch or just before. Thankfully, I had the number to another of the stall owners who managed to capture the last plate of what-not for me. Nod nod. Filial son role complete.
2. There is one good thing with siblings stealing your stuff. Especially when you have a vain brother who wants to die-die-must-try your white Nikes. What does he do when he realizes the apparent WHITE shoes he wants, is quite BLACK. It's been that way for the past 6 months actually, I've never got around to cleaning it up. So, shoes gets stolen, gets cleaned thoroughly before it gets stolen, and I have a spanking sparkling pair of white sneakers to wear out.
3. The motorized ionizer thingamachit installed in the new green Gilette Mach 3s is crap. Only a cunt would buy the product cos of that. Or maybe cunts do get influenced by Beckham. The fuckin thing costs over $25 for god's sake. A shaver you know. A hand powered shaver costs more than 25 buckeroos. If not for the fact that mine got stolen [read bout it in earlier entries], and that this was the only one left in the 7-11, I'd have never got it. I is thinking, I is switching to my dad's old school razor blade ones.
4. Why is it that I can't ask anyone if there is a florist in the area without being interrogated on who I'm going out with currently? Can you not get flowers for weddings, funerals, congratulatory bouquets, wreaths, to smell, to do some artwork with, to simply know for general knowledge if there really IS a florist in the area?
5. My bus stalled today. The biggest bummer of all was that it was only 1 more stop to the stop I get down at. Though, one stop doesn't seem like much. It's one of those, 500 metres away and we didn't place another stop in between cos there wasn't any space to kinda consecutive stops. Not the first time my bus has stalled. But no, it had to stall when I was so friggin hungry I could have satisfied myself by tearing out the cushioned seats and devouring them, fibres and all. I've also gotten into a bus-accident before where a taxi slammed into the side of the bus I was in. Since it was a single-decker, we felt the full brunt of the impact and nearly toppled over sideways. The next suay thing is probably to get into an MRT accident. Oh wait, more suay than that is to let your MRT stall, and you're in the middle of some tunnel. Gone case.
6. I had a combo-lunch and a combo-dinner today. Lunch was mee goreng xtra chilli followed by 3 dollar chicken rice, roasted chicken, xtra black sauce, xtra chilli, add one tau pok and add one more bowl of rice. My dinner was 2 egg pratas drenched for a mandatory 15 mins while I watched some comedy re-runs, followed by economy mixed rice consisting of beancurd, rice, chicken curry, egg and kai lan. *Burp*
7. Everytime I'm left with exactly ten dollars in my pockets these days, I don't ponder what I can purchase with the cash. Instead, I think to myself, DON'T buy anything, this is tomorrow's finance for fags. Haiz.
8. Don't ever trust buses that have letters adjoined at the back. I.e. If you was to sit on a 74, don't action bedek go take a 74A or a 74B just cos you think they go the same way and stop the same place. IF they were to do that, they wouldn't be numbered differently would they? Fatal error today. I shall not repeat it. Damn those buses. Fark whatever bus company is holding the monopoly now. NNB. Every 2 days my EzLink Card goes to $0, you think fucking funny ah?
9. Why on some days the fuckin Straits Times fat like a bloated sperm whale and on certain days it's so thin even substituting it for toilet paper will not suffice for even one dump? Same with The New Paper. KNN. I pay 70 cents now compared to 50 when they first started out. And instead of more news, all I see is more massage parlours taking up ads. How hard is it to decipher the termed "Attached bathrooms", "Local/Foreign Sweet Girls with Excellent Service" to know what kinda establishment you're operating? KNN.
10. I am not sure why but my house coffeeshop has this penchant for hiring half-half assistants. First there was this guy who behaved like a girl. Now there's this lady who looks like a man. I'm very stressed. Especially when they are the ones delivering the drinks. The man I was cool with, he runs errands and buys 4D numbers for me when I not free. But, this woman. I is belching and retching and all things vomitary in nature. Please David [the owner] sack the biatch!
Adieu!
No comments:
Post a Comment