Spot your fuck buddy

Something I realized in the course of my ahem "work". Women love to confuse us. YES, I'm talking bout those chicks who got their tits popping out of their tops, jus aching to wave hi to all of us out there, and then they turn around and go "Why you looking at me like thaT? I aint no slut okie...".

Yeah, yeah, we geddit already. The way you dress aint necessarily the way you are. But fucking hell, stop the mudderfuckin confusion routine.

So, when you do get to chance upon a potential playmate. Some pointers on how to ensure the effort is well worth that titty-and-ass. *Meow*

1. She dresses the part

Women brazen enough to wear tight, revealing clothing share many characteristics with sexually proficient women: Confidence in their bodies, a lack of inhibition and an unmistakable wild streak.

2. She talks the talk

If she is willing to engage in raunchy sex talk outside the bedroom, imagine how much hotter it could get once you’re actually in it. Those "F-bombs" and "C-words" she utters in everyday life take on a whole new meaning between the sheets. Sure, she might occasionally shock you, but she’ll also blow you away literally and figuratively.

3. She reads up on the topic

You can look for obvious clues like Sexy Massages, Volume 4 or a dog-eared version of The Expert’s Guide to Kama Sutra, but you can also keep an eye out for more subtle clues, like books by the likes of Harold Robbins and Sidney Sheldon. If she has the gall to read this filth, she must be liberal enough to really let her hair down in the sack. On top of that, she’ll most probably be chock-full of ideas after reading them.

4. She makes decisions

Find a woman who suggests you go for spicy BBQ or picks the movie before the date, and you’ve probably found a class-A partner. This self-assuredness will translate into the bedroom, meaning that she’ll have no problem telling you what she likes and what is working for her. Sexually satisified women will go to great lengths to reciprocate the favor.

5. She's a bit older

Logic. The more you've been fuckin, the better you're gonna get at it.

6. She's competitive

You know the girl on your school netball team who swears under her breath whenever someone makes a mistake? Odds are she is an absolute dynamo in bed. Potential grand slam: Athletic body + willingness to make it a memorable experience.

7. She can carry on a conversation

Sex experts point out that if a woman’s conversation cadence and non-verbal actions mirror a man’s, they often enjoy a finely tuned, mutually beneficial sex life. If your conversations are stunted and filled with awkward silences, there is a good chance you will enjoy a similarly choppy, awkward roll in the hay. There are no detailed scientific studies backing these claims up, but they do make sense.


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