Risque Rice

And so it is just like you said it would be. Life goes easy on me most of the time. And so it is the shorter story. No love, no glory, no hero in her skies.

And so it is just like you said it should be. We'll both forget the breeze most of the time. And so it is the colder water, the blower's daughter. The pupil in denial.

Did I say that I loathe you? Did I say that I want to leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you......
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind.........off you.


Uniformed Politics

What kinda political system are we really in? Democracy? Socialist? Democratic socialism? Socialist democracy?

I say we're actually really communist. Judging from how workplace politics works in most of our civil and corporate joints.

Not going into specific details and time periods lest I get banged for getting factual incidents wrong, this is a comparative study on the great tiger, China and us [all aspects of our daily work].

1. People were often forced to make self criticisms by people who apparently were incapable of mistakes.

I see this every fuckin day. 2 cases in point. See, I have a bloke who works with me. To call him a colleague would be to fuckin glorify his already scum like presence. He's the kind who stands on a lower footing than one and yet "good naturedly for the good of the people" decides he is qualified enough to teach and impart his already limited knowledge on the subject at hand. Have you ever come across people who don't know jack shit yet profess to be experts? Yes, a handy skill when you are chatting up a chick who is into Impressionist Art. But, not if you are talking about technical expertise on a highly isolated subject and job scope. Did I mention, he is infallible? The Debrief King we call him. He fucks it up, he debriefs you. You fuck it up, he debriefs you too. What gives?

Recently, there was another major incident that could have resulted in the death of someone who had collapsed just cos of major incompetency and lack of balls to take a decision-itis. Yet, when the shit hit the fan, people didn't quite rush to the defence of the guy who DID have the balls to make a quick decision to possibly save a human life. Instead, they held back their comments in support to see what tack the higher-ups will take. Just like if Chairman Mao says you are a "capitalist roader", these are the ones who will quickie label ya and even pay for the tattoo for it on your forehead willingly with their last penny as long as their immediate boss says that's the way it goes.

P.S. None of the characters in the second tale is me.

2. Don't be fooled by being asked to speak up about your grievances. It is a death-trap.

I believe the fashionable word for this is "open reporting" or "workplace climate survey". Something like when the Communists said tell us your grievances and we'll sort it out. Most of them got labelled as siding with the capitalist powers trying to inject poison into their foolproof system and got tortured and hanged as a result. Or imprisoned in-house.

Last year, when a similar climate survey was done. 4 people I know flagged up very pertinent points on the incompetency of their big boss vehemently. Guess what? They weren't even given the survey to do this time. How cool is that? Less paperwork. Less bad press more importantly.

Personally, you speak up against someone who thinks they got it all sewed up just fine just invites a labelling of "bad attitude", "going against the grain", "attempting to incite the innocents against the system". Seriously, go fuck yourself. If you're wrong and basically sometimes suck at doing your job, you should be told so and not be a sensitive teenage prick when told so. If you're wrong all the time, you should be thrown out of your appointment and asked to take a hike. Because every second more you occupy that seat is a danger to the mental and physical states of everyone under you.

3. The Boss is right. Whichever boss it is.

Ask anyone who is involved in a permanent job. No one really gives a flying fuck how the entire organization functions, except when it comes to salaries and bonuses. What matters most is your immediate and direct superior. See, you may go through 3 to 4 levels to hit the real Big Boss, but it's the one you directly report to first that's the most vital. Most vital to mental incapacity that is. Interestingly, when addressing any manpower grievances, the organization you work in probably thinks flinging money at you will make you stay longer and keep your gap shut. What about job satisfaction? What about working under incompetent losers? People who claim their own typographical and oral errors are of your stupidity and bad hearing.

Back in Communist China [like as if their political slants have changed], the local councils or chapters meant shit to the main man. If he says, make steel. You make steel. No one cares if you can't eat steel as opposed to crops. You just make steel.

Weed them out! Cut them with shears. Hear them scream. The next time you think the one directly above you is crap and looks out for their ass more than the hundreds below him, ask for a transfer. Better yet, quit. Trust me, it will be the best decision of your life.



4 Values

It's the norm or fad these days to quickly institute a plethora of values or principles we should adopt and follow to the T to ensure that the organization follows the same frequency and achieve maximum results.

Even at primary school, some values are fed into the syllabus and case-studies shown or talked about subliminally reinforcing the need to uphold that value. In my workplace we have 4 values we're supposed to abide by. Competency, Tenacity, Fortitude and Dynamism. And so, one fine day, like on many other fine (and rainy) days, some smart dude told another smart dude: "Hey, wouldn't it be great if we could do a presentation to correlate the 4 values? It'd look great!".

And thus the bow was strung, the arrow flew and it pierces all in its path, mercilessly. Regardless of race, language or religion. How do you put these 4 supposed all encompassing values together and still make it look seamless? Thankfully, we had beer.

This was the most brilliant thing I've ever heard or come up with in my lifetime. Pity, of all things lacking in my organization, a sense of humour is top on the list.

Now, visualize:

Slide 1: Welcome Slide
Slide 2: Scope
Slide 3: The Lottery Game [in big bold letters with Star Wars accompaniment music]
Slide 4: "Every week without fail, we buy 4D. Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday, everyday also we go and buy" ---> FORTITUDE
Slide 5: "When we buy, we buy damn fierce wan if we think we sure tiok. Sometimes 50 big 50 small" ---> TENACITY
Slide 6: "When we decide what number to buy, we know which circles to shade on the forms. Never has a 4D slip gone to waste under our watchful eyes" ----> COMPETENCY
Slide 7: "Notwithstanding 4D, TOTO and Singapore Sweep also we whack on a weekly and monthly basis" ---> DYNAMISM
Slide 8: Conclusion
Slide 9: QnA



Touch Me Education

Self - explanatory sequence of pictures. To think we wasted our goddamn time reading Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys and The 3 Investigators. Life skills cum fairy tale stories. This is the new age kiddie story book. Enjoy.