Yishun Walkabout

Early in the morning, I had to frantically sms the P-man to wait up for me. So worried I was that since I didn't take his ride the past few days, he'd forget bout me and zoom off. Ok, a guy who keeps to speed limits and holds up traffic can never actually zoom off, but still. I rush and rush and rush, and the fucker himself comes late.

How like that? Unknownst to me, Edison and the P-man had a huge ass flare up last Friday. Culminating in a lot of cussing, swearing, name calling and hitting of the weak spot. All by my boy, Eddie. Now with brand new waxed up hair fresh from HK. But when he came to bitch to me, he opened it with: "You la! Not around! If not sure won't fight!". I went, "You la! So stupid! Never wait for backup to go pick a fight. Don't know any fight must have good strong backup is it?"

So, the P-man starts this whole Edison has no manners, no communications skills, gonna die when released into the outside world with this kinda personality clashes, sir, talk some sense into him, i know you his friend, but you gotta instill discipline in your underlings. Now the fella really irritated me and put me in a spot. How to deal man? Like this:

"If I give him something to do, he do ma. Boss give him things to do he also do ma. So he don't do for you means it's your personal issue. He don't like you. You should sort it out. You are the senior after all."

Phew. I see the P-man nodding once or twice in approval and I know I is has diplomatically escaped. Then, during breakfast, Edison gave me the A-bomb. P-man has apparently been seeding my boss and edison with the notion that my high fever and pops in hospital is but a huge farce. That I'm jus snoozing at home. Ok, this did it! Majorly! He is now my sworn enemy and I'm bringing him down. But slowly la. Revenge must plan. And I still need my morning and evening rides. Train fare not cheap you know.

At least, the after office hours gig was good. Thank you RT for the delicious sambal chicken fried rice recommendation. I do know the coffeeshop, just didnt know THAT was 925. Oh yes, we saw THE Beethoven. You know the dog who barks to Beethoven's 5th symphony in the movie of the same name. Solid looking fella, outside a pet grooming shop. That's at 924 Yishun Central by the way if you wanna catch a glimpse.

And today the movement of Kong has started. Kong was graciously rescued from the clutches of the evil toy-shop bazaar owner for the princely ransom of $2.50. Although, the Dolphin joined him in his courageous crusade. Kong still reigns supreme. Herein the power of Kong shall shine bright and cut through enemies with his manxome sword and the vibrations that eminate thru the beatingof his chest. I present, The Kong:


And his trusty sidekick, Dolphin. The Dolphin is often photographed only on its left side profile, as that is the better looking side. Although, the Dolphin is much more prone to exfoliation than extermination. She provides an apt partner to the Kong. The regime can only be strengthened. We are opening recruitment now!



If women ruled the world

If women ruled the world. We'd be all psycho-motor morons. Wait, now was that an oxymoron? Oh no, Oxy is what we put on our face. Right.


Computer Romance

My computer's finally back to me. She must have enjoyed the air con at the shop a lot. Summore my comp repair man is my optician's younger brother. So, it all works out when it comes down to a discount.

I got her made when I was in Year 1. New hostel room, new sheets, new tees, new dreams and a new "female" to accompany me by. All the rest of the doofuses in my tut group wanted to use the laptop loan to get themselves some new sleek Fujitsu thingamajit. But for fuck, you get your lappie in the first year, by the third it's already gone obsolete. You end up graduating and still forking out payments for a dinosaur that is already rusting in the karang guni man's cart.

Alas, the room, tees, sheets, dreams have all gone by the way of the past. Only "she" has remained. Faithful for the last 3 years. But, also smashed a record of mine. See, I hate repairmen. Never think I need to pay for something I could do myself if I just researched it enough. And I did get through the small glitches for the 1st two years. But when you can't be sure if it's just your RAM or your entire motherboard's fried then you gotta get professional help.

But, there comes a time when the dinosaurs gotta go the way of Jurassic Park and it's hideous sequels. So, this final $45 repair bill for the power supply is like the last I'm a gonna fork out. I'm sorry baby. Don't throw tantrums on me again. I have a good mind on that latest ATI chip. And guess who's gotta go to make way for my new nitrogen cooled, see through, LED massive chassis. Yup. You guessed it.

On another hand, my dad seems to be back to his old routine. Ironing clothes, bitching about rubbish bins not cleared and generally coming to me at weird times with weird stuff like, "Don't hang around outside after 12, times are dangerous". I used to make fun of this whole you from the 60s-70s, I is in the 20s. But, fuck it la. Old people will do as they please.

He got a coupla visitors today. And people keep stopping me at the kopitiam, 4D shop and the mamak stall to ask me about his health. So tiring. I just passed his number to all of them going "I think it'd be better if you asked him straight. He'd like that very much". Alas, his own employers didn't bother to show any care and concern. Good job Comfort. :) Go fuck your blue cabs mofos.

But of course the mandatory hamper did arrive, albeit from a most unexpected source. Was from the chariot committee from the Potong Pasir temple. They had only realized something was up cos he didn't attend a meeting or sumpin, but lo and behold, their reaction was a fast one indeed.

Thus, tomorrow I attack work. 11 more days to payday. KNN. What a wait. Been waiting for so long for some dough. Finally it arrives. And of course the mailbox is flush with bills with my name on it. I really gotta tell these people that anything marked "reminder" is promptly thrown away. I don't even bother opening it. Unless registered mail la, then must read cos people bothered to pay 4 dollars to send it to you ma, could be lawyer's letter. Otherwise, you fuggers have a good week. I'll catch up with you over the rainbow with hash-brownies and a mug of hot choco.

Sayonara! [they really should stop showing Karate Kid re runs on AXN]

Late Addition:

Now, my dad suddenly wants to quit smoking. What fags have to do with diabetes, HBP, and a stomach ulcer I have no idea. But, the reality has just sunk in. I no longer have the license to display my pack of cigs around the house like they were part of the furniture.:( I is has been threatened that it will be removed forcefully in order to assist my dad's efforts to quit. Damn middle aged desires!

Q n A II

Q: What does a middle aged Indian dad do the moment he walks out of hospital where he was warded for the past 2 days?

A: Go for a haircut and shave claiming the hospital stay made him look like hell.

Q: Is there any place in Singapore I can go to, with a woman or without, where I won't see anyone I know, or anyone who knows me or of me?

A: Yes. The Southern Islands [which used to be a constituency all by itself in the old days], The Northern Islands, and the tip of Tuas Hockey Stick right at the edge of the Live Firing Area. Next time my friends, SMS me saying you had a sighting. Don't scream in the middle of the heartlands, the Ah Bengs will get stressed.

Q: Will learning self defence arts like Muay Thai make you a better fighter? Or braver?

A: Yes, it should, i think, even if it don't..hey at least you got some cool shorts out of it all. But they call it self defence for a reason. Don't make the first move. Booya!

Q: Will blondes ever cease to exist?

A: Will idiots ever cease to exist?

Q: Hips lie or hips don't lie?

A: Kinda depends on the 'spare tire' you're lugging around aint it?

Q: Have you had your own irritations with the ubiquitous Sun TV on CH 29 with regards to family relations?

A: Satisfy your grouses in language that is much better than yours HERE. IF you think you can do a much better job. Fuggedabouddit. "Moving slower than a millipede with menses" is by far the best new age idiom I've ever seen. Watch out for Part Two in a bit.


Bride of Chucky

Ten years is a long time, Chucky. Besides, I was never actually with him. You know me. I'll kill anybody, but I'll only sleep with someone I love.

A woman spends all day over a hot stove slaving away for her man. The least he can do is the dishes.

Take it from me, honey, plastic is no substitute for a nice hunk of wood



Tired la this weekend.

1. I realized a new way of spelling my name. After all the "shankars" I've seen stored in people's handphones, my friend stumped me with his new version. "Shangka". You win, Black. Lu menang!

2. It is finally hit me hard how hard a taxi driver earns his dough. My dad hasn't driven for a week, cos of his hospitalization and all, and the rental and income loss is almost in the 900 region. Damn. Thank you to those who have given me some money here and there. I is dutifully buying groceries with it.

3. Fuckin pissed off with my youngest. That ass actually chose his TV over visiting my dad. How fucked up is that? I woke up heard the news and just had time to bathe, change and ciao. After a call to check if they needed anything. And this knnbccb says, I tired. I wanna watch movie. I this I that. CCB! What's wrong with kids these days ah. Your own pops you know. If I was in the middle of fuckin Tibet also, I'd be frantically booking my next flight out. Haiz. Dissapointment. Nothing a few well-placed slaps won't put across.

4. This goes out to you. I know your sneaky movements. You know my number. Let's finish this. If you are itching for blood. Then scratch on. I really am not altering my lifestyle to look out for dennis the menace popping out of the woodwork. Just remember, even if 10 people sit around you and bitch, there's always that 1 loyal one who comes back to me with the info. Cheers.

5. Something so super hilarious occurred on Saturday. Happy Birthday Abang Jas again. If you want to get drunk on your birthday, do it with style and knowing your limitations. I quote "I already tell all the brothers already, no tequila shots or waterfalls for me tonight. Cos leceh la, when I get drunk, I wild." So, take heed. Know your limits. Don't be like a cockster I know, who got so drunk at the pre-birthday bash at the coffeeshop that he didnt even have the strength to walk to the club and went straight home to sleep while we went in.

6. Gangs are getting so big these days. After a typical post drinking fracas. I saw this big bunch of young punks gonna square it off with a big bunch of oldies. Best part, the oldies were actually their seniors in the ranks. The youngsters just didnt know cos their group is SO big, some of them go through life just not seeing another member's face, ever. Damn, what they need is an organizational guru. Me. I'll talk to them about the contract in a bit.

Sleepy la. I had a good day today. I hope. Too soon to say. Better to shut the fuck up and go into work tomorrow expecting a bad day, then when nothing happens, it becomes a bonus.




Bianca says: "Next time...Shut the Fuck up!"

Rightfully said. All I did was twist my butt to get another non-numbing position on my piano bench [yes, I used to own a piano, till I sold it but kept the chair, cos these chairs have hidden compartments under the seats to hide stuff], and tap tap my brother's computer [cos, my GeForce MMX graphics card's fan happened to just about stop working preventing my own comp from being switched on at the very least], and exclaim out loud "Wah, so shiok, no problems for the rest of the night"

That was it. The world started to crumble. 2 smses enough to make me choke on my Milo. Yes, my mum's 3 in 1 coffeemix was lazily not mixed. *grumble grumble* Had a VERY VERY interesting and revealing MSN convo, which had to be followed up with phonecalls to a dear friend. My mum then showed me certain unpaid bills where they were planning to sue already. That can wait. Then a slight quarrel with another esteemed female. Gosh! How I wish my mouth never open.

Thank god I had this nice new Reader's Digest Condensed Book to read. By the way I own like 40 over of these 4 condensed stories in one hardbound edition books, and I bought them at like 50 a pop. All stories made the NY Bestsellers List and I do keep them in good condition except a a coupla folded corners. I is so not a bookmark fella. If you want to take them off my hands, gimme a shout.

Still down with fever. Damn the virus. My dad is stricken with something too. Of course, no one in this house says anything to anyone else. My mum is the keeper of all news and secrets and gossip. Warded for observation now, my old man. I gotta go down and see whats the happening and scold some doctors and nurses [this is a family tradition].

And now, the fuckin NTU says I got no hostel room. KNNBCCB.

Extracted text from "oh-so-sorry" email:

I refer to your application for admission into the Hall of Residence in the academic year 2006/07 and regret to inform you that you are unsuccessful.The General Cut-off points (GCP) is: male GCP is 87.1 and female GCP is 66.

Urmz, do you have any idea how fuckin hard it is to earn 87 points!!!!! That's like tantamount to spending your 8 to 5 days doing your fuckin ECAs and doing your studies part time. OR you could always suck off your Hall President to get priority points.

And then, I see:

2. Look for off-campus accommodation options which are nearby to
the campus:(i)EM Services Pte Ltd offers furnished single or twin-sharing rooms in nearby HDB 5-rooms/executive flats. Rates ranges from S$150 to $$220 per person for a twin-sharing room and S$300 - S$480 for a single room.

You notice there was a (i) and never a (ii) to be seen. But the exact same price of a hostel room for a twin sharing 5 room flat. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Sounds too good to be true? Like some email scams I know. Oh well, sit tight lor.

Anyone wanna take room with me?




Tired la. Down with high fever.

Anyhow, some blatant advertising. Only bringing you the best. For further information and to contact the friendly people at the firm, click HERE.

Please click on images to blow it up. For those who get the newsletter from me by e-mail, please forward it to your list too.



NTU ad

Seen in NTU's public folder, this is the place full of classifieds, spam included but loadsa good bargains and shiet from time to time:

Does your piano need a good service?
Chinese certified senior
Piano tuner, 6 years tuning experience
attractve price, professional service
contact: 9******* Miss Li
Please speak Chinese, or speak english slowly


Caught at Bishan

Don't fuck in public. I reiterate this point. Why even fuck if you can't afford the hotel? Losers. This was at Bishan MRT. Just cos there's construction going on doesn't mean you try this stunt in broad daylight you fools.

Credit for this find: Laveenia

Sunday Soiree

And so it is, just like you said it would be. Life goes easy on me. Some of the time.

I is on MC today. Cannot function. So tired. All Chittu's fault! Hahaha. Ok, I take it back. My fault my fault.

Anyhow, congrats dear, the first friend of mine who's dating a professional footballer. Hemsem summore. Oh well, when two equally bored people get together, one on Off tmrw and one with work but the boss is on holiday, you can be assured crazy ideas get thrown into the air. Yesterday, after a can of beer and Jim Beam each, eh sorry yours was the Breezer, after I thrashed her countlessly in Uno Dai Dee, we is cabbed down to CM for a Sunday soiree. All I did was walk past the coffeeshop where my dad was seated enroute to the 7-11 with her when my mum called later liao.

Mum: "Ah, where are you"
Me: "With a friend la, here only AMK"
Mum: "Your friend is a girl la, Appa saw what"
Me: "I saw him also what, I waved"
Mum: "Why never introduce?"
Me: "Not my gfren, now put down the phone, when I got gfren then I bring home"

At first, the idea was just to chill, not see ANYONE we know or knows us and gulp some good liquor with the music blasting on the boom box. Alas, we walked into.... GAY NIGHT. Hahaha. I am not homophobic so I really had fun. Chittu thought the gay men hated her cos since she around they couldn't hit on me. And there even was a 3 part drag show. Solid performances. Professionalism is so rife in the gay community. We have the vid too, I'll upload it later.

I just played my pool winning 3 gay men, 1 mat, the DJ [this was a solid 6 ball comeback, mind you, it's games like this I need a medal for]. And we left. Oh, we made a new friend too. A Nepalese chick called Suseela. I knew she wasn't from here the minute I spotted the non-threading of her moustache. Androgyny doesn't rule in my circles. Women should be as women be. Pretty pretty all.

After I dropped off, I went to my fav mee kia stall for some piping hot bak chor mee. But kanina, my auntie kena sacked. Both of them. I wonder why. The cheebai fella who is the replacement still can tell me with a cheeky grin that they both take "long holiday". KNNBCCB. Who will make my personal order of $4 bak chor mee, mee kia, chilli many many, hold the meatballs? And this fella also don't believe in credit terms. I.e. Eat now, pay tmrw. Of course la, I don't carry 4 dollars everywhere I go right. Even if I have 10 on me, it's to plan for the next pack of fags I gotta buy. Sheesh. A slight exchange of words with the bozo. I had to activate the neighbouring carrot cake uncle to vouch for me. And I got my mee kia. Just cos he pissed me off, I is gonna pay 1 week later, not tomorrow.



Stay in Friday

To think I was all ready to switch on my movie where vin Diesel has hair, "Find Me Guilty" and snuggle into bed so I can get up bright and early to set off to where the sun shines like a bitch ass hoe on smack. Something was niggling my mind la....then it hit me. I haven't blogged for the day. What a routine this page on the vast world wide web has become.

Anyhow, it was a quiet day in the office. Good mood all around. Rained twice summore. Exercise over, no more 6 am days, but sadly no more 3 pm departures from work too. My heartfelt thanks to Edison who covered for me on Thurs when I left at 12 instead of the usual 3 cos I had lots to gossip bout to a mate who lives just outside camp. And to think, on top of covering for me as a 3SG in a meeting full of colonels and majors and captains and such, the meeting dragged till 9 pm.

He was fuckin furious at 4pm when he realized this possibility but the sweet soul that he is, all he said was "neh..u owe me big time ah for this". Thankfully, the other majors took pity on poor old NSF him and asked him to scoot on home at 5. Thus, I ended up owing him medium-time only which loosely translated to one chicken chop ta pau for today's lunch. Ah, the sweet smell of debt collection.

Also, it was the time for apologies and repentance. An apology came to me and I duly despatched one off to another mate who has since had a bad impression about something he thought I was doing but in fact I actually forgot. I tell you, my memory is soo bad, entire years of my childhood are now all fuzzy. Let alone last year happenings. So, yet again, happy that the air is cleared. Isn't it such a bitch when you smile outwardly and hate inwardly. So don't. If you have an issue, bring it up. As long you are in the right, who gives a fuck how the fella gonna react? And if you are in the wrong, bring it up anyway and be ready to go down on your knees to show how sincere you are. Most people aint inhumane enough to LET you go down to that level, they'd stop you before that, moved by your sincerity.

Only something disturbed me. That one of those mates actually thought I'd go ballistic and what not, over a woman. I mean seriously. I aint married my friend. And being single has its privileges, for men AND women. So, yeah technically, if you is single, all hell can break loose and no one can blame ya. Alas, I just lost interest in that subject along the way. Didn't find something that I needed out of there. The only thing I was so irritated about was, the man needs to decide too if the woman suits his needs not only the woman doing this whole decision bullshit.

Superficiality I agree with me. I only focus on the beautiful ones. So, that's 90% of the population down the drain. The remainder 10% I still gotta strain through and see who I need and who I can do without what. Since, I'm gunning for like just 2-3% of the female population in Singapore, trust me I have more practise walking away than you do.

So, yeah. To the actual point in hand. If you is a friend of mine, or regard yourself as one. Any issues with me. Clear it, quick. Don't mull over it, don't put it to a few more punk assess to debate over it. Just pick up the phone, call me and go "Eh shanker..u ccb..why u do this ah? Explain now." And then listen. Happy? Proceed. Not happy? Proceed also.

The P-man struck today again. For part 1 of his antics, click here.
Today the P-man got on my nerves so much, I just "pulled" rank for the first time in my life on a fellow colleague. Told him, I'll take over the organizing of the upcoming event for now, and all YOU need to do is take instructions and carry them out well. To his nonsensical blabbering after that, I went uh-huh uh-huh but I the boss now. You not happy? I'll tell boss I the boss of this. So you want to work under me? OR you wanna do your own thing?

The P-man relented, said okok that's a good idea. Burden off his chest bullshit. And gave me a lift home. That is a given la. That's why I havent do major fucking up yet. KNN!!!! AAAAAAARGH! Why I never believe Edison when he told me! WHY! WHY! WHY!

Oh Tuhan!



Pinky and the Brain

This is a dedication from Me, RT and Rita to the masses. Now sing along y'all.

Pinky and the Brain
They're Pinky and the Brain
Yes, Pinky and the Brain
One is a genius, the other's insane
They're laboratory mice
Their genes have been spliced
They're dinky
They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain

Before each night is done
Their plan will be unfurled
By the dawning of the sun
They'll take over the world

They're Pinky and the Brain
Yes, Pinky and the Brain
Their twilight campaign
Is easy to explain
To prove their mousey worth
They'll overthrow the Earth
They're dinky.
They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, NARF!


And here's why you shouldn't traffick in drugs, or rape or do aggravated assault. This is however a Malaysian video.

Do forward to the 40 second mark, first bit is just talk cock.


TTSH woes

So, I visited good old Tan Tock Seng this afternoon for the second time in 3 days. And I'm proud to announce I'm not gonna die so soon, so weep on motherfuckers. I hear those sighs.

What I didn't get was the experience. Firstly, the hospital has morphed. Greatly. TTSH used to be known as the joint that kills people. True. Everytime, someone gets hospitalized for a serious condition and we get news that it's Tan Tock Seng, that's it. The funeral parlour's number is on standby. The service also used to be atrocious. The hospital in some ulu fucking plot of land with only a narrow path leading to it. Many a nurse, including my aunt has experienced unnatural stuff along this path when they're done with their night shift to walk out to take a cab. But yeah, the hosiptal is pretty spruced up. Their new logo speaks volumes. Kudos to the branding and image consultants.

Just some stuff I observed:

1. Waiting time is indeed faster. Outpatient clinics are much cleaner, brighter colours, better ambience. The wards from what I saw from the outside also more power pack. I remember the one and only time I was hospitalized, back in Pri 4, I could actually jump out through the window and trod off to walk around reccee the hospital. Nowadays, you're more likely to suffer a severe fall thats gonna leave you hospitalized even longer. My ward was on Level 1 then. The current Level 1 is three stories high.

2. The staff actually smile! Lan jiao they used to. Fuckin scowling like we owe them money when we the one worrying about how much of the bill our Medisave can cover.

3. You know the nurses rule. It's like that series "SCRUBS", where the trainee doctors have to literally suck nurses' invisible dicks to get an easy way around. And the way they integrate with each other is flawless. In just half an hour of waiting today, I witnessed these 5 nurses on shift, just about handle Teochew, Hokkien, Cantonese, Mandarin, Malay, Tamil and even a bit of Japanese. I mean like damn! They training translators too in NYP nursing fac? And when one of them is dumbfounded, someone always jumps in to save the situation, in the next 2 seconds no less. Seamless. How I wish my organization worked this way.

4. Somehow or rather, the payment counter hates SAF people. All you do is show your card when you make your payment and you just walk away scot free. Maybe that pisses them off greatly. Like, they were soo looking forward to collect $60.05 from your pathetic looking face and you brush them off with some green card. Oh well. When in doubt, flash the card. Don't leave home without it.

5. The eye specialist appointment I went for was a waste of my goddamn time. I didn't even realize, he asked me back was to check if I had glaucoma. I mean come on man, according to their own in-clinic pamphlet, the high risk population for glaucoma is above 50 year old Chinese females. I is ah neh dei! Look at me. I is black! My eyes are red! My teeth are yellow from coffee! Where got glau-simi-coma?

6. The nose one was also a waste. The fella sat me down for a grand total of 5 seconds. Put a light up my nostrils, asked me what happened. Muttered something about trauma. Asks his assistant trainee doc to take notes as he speaks. He spoke one word! Trauma! And then he says, "Ah, there's no need for plastic surgery cos your nose aint crooked or anything. I give you an open appt for a year. Pop in if you want to. Let it heal by itself. Have a good day".
As dumbfounded as I was, I was sure glad I didn't need to wear some fogey nose brace for a week. I left in a jiffy. The indian couple who came earlier than me and still were waiting stared the hell at me. Macam, "cheebai..go in faster than me also come out so fast. at least talk longer la, make sure it was worth cutting our queue". But auntie/uncle! I never cut queue! I jus smiled at the minah and told her my camp got big big exercise I need to rush, can make it fast not sweetheart?

7. The 1st floor has so many shops, it's a mini-mall. Starbucks la, food court la, 7-11 la, Polar Puffs la, and the mandatory con the patients out of needless medical aid equipment shops. I was actually looking at this defribrillator on sale. Used to deliver electric shocks to people whose heart has stopped. I gotta try it on my brother some day, when I go back and buy. Then he'll know: After you watch the latest Naruto, you DO NOT delete it till I have given my go ahead. Idiot.

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Of Porn and Men

I've realized something vital. Porn doesn't turn men on. Naked women do. Understand the statement?

Means, we don't want to see another male, no matter how tight his buns are, bonking that slut. We wanna be there. Jumping through the screen, shoving him off the crevice and be in the heat of things.

Which is why, we prefer looking at photo spreads and lesbian activity more than an hour long feature film of "The Anal Wars". Nude women rule the roost. In more ways than one.

My observations are purely for me, but made after studying numerous clips and tapes and vids and dvds of all aspects of porn. Gay included [now that's just nasty. As Ali G would say exito should never become entrio].

Try it yourself. Get your P2P or bittorrent out and download Playboy Casting Calls.

Trivia of the day:
Jenna Jameson, richest and most respected porn star in the industry has never taken it up the arse on camera. Of course, she's always fucking her own husband anyhow. Yes, porn star weds porn star. What a wedding that would have been. I hope the midgets turned out in full force.

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Do take the time to go down and support this production. I am not part of this joint, but in the name of local Indian art and culture, please do your part. You must admit, they DO do good stuff anyhow.

Smoking Idols

Graphic warnings introduced on cigarette packaging since August 2004 seem to have had an effect on smokers, according to a survey by the Health Promotion Board.

Nearly half (47 percent) said they smoked less frequently after seeing the health warnings, while 57 percent said they became more concerned about the health effects of smoking.

The survey covered some 1,300 smokers and non-smokers from the ages of 18 and 69.

It was conducted between November and December 2004, a few months after the health warnings were introduced on cigarette packaging.

The survey also showed that the labels were effective in reinforcing health messages among smokers.

Seventy-one percent said they knew more about the health effects of smoking as a result of the warnings, while a quarter said they were motivated by the warnings to quit smoking.

The warnings also helped kick-start the quitting process among smokers -- 28 percent said they smoked fewer cigarettes; 14 percent said they made it a point to avoid smoking in front of children; 12 percent said they avoided smoking in front of pregnant women; and 8 percent said they smoked less at home.

Among non-smokers, 46 percent said they had advised smokers to quit smoking after seeing the health warning labels; 17 percent of them were wives who had advised their husbands to quit smoking.

The Health Promotion Board said it was looking at introducing a new set of graphic health warnings by the end of the year.

CNA link.

How propaganda-ish. Ask a smoker. Any smoker. Not of course the 1300 interviewed pro-MOH ones, whether these friggin photos have any effect on us. Zilch I tell you.

Except the chicks who prefer the ones NOT with the baby. Or, the ones with a weak heart who'd rather not see the bleeding lung/heart/whatever organ that is, I have no idea only a medical student knows la.

And the effective labels? "Smoking can cause a slow painful death". Already, they themselves not sure want to write "can" or "will". Put one quit hotline number 438-2000, that sounds more apt for some Singapore idol behind the scenes poll.

You want a good warning label? Check this out.

Talkin bout Idol Feva, Glenn Ong is convinced that he has an impersonator in the finals. Some one who looks like him, talks like him and what not. Get a life la Glenn. And I quote from the Morning Show on Class95, "I don't know what he's going to do you know, cos FD you KNOW I can sing, and I look real good, and I have a fantastic image". Well not really a quote, a paraphrase if you will. Still, Glenn, suck ma dick, call me daddy. :)

On the other hand, if you drop by your friendly Borders or Kino or wherever it is you pay exhorbitant prices for just words on pages for, do give this a flip. Slated as the next big thing.


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Round up

So, the week ended. Ended with a bang perhaps?

1. Saturday

Out again, drinking drinking. Where else but boat quay. This time, the art of keeping yourself cool.

CM has opened. At MS. It's time to MM and then onto ST. Some folks want me to remember, remmeber that what not date and what not time. So I can buy 4d? I repeat, you reap what you sow. I spoke to a close friend about the event and she told me I had anger management issues. That a normal person shouldn't hold a grudge for a whole year or part thereof. I say I've been fuckin patient.

Patient with the needless eye contact, the smirks, the fuckin disrespect, the gossiping, the saying my name as I pass. Do I look like your court jester? Do you not know your place? Do you think I'm your age? Do you think I can't hold my drinks like you and then feign drunkeness when I do wrong?

I'll tell you something else. I am pretty direct. I wait, I wait, I wait then I action. Don't gimme this tagging bullshit. This snickering, this bitching. I can only be responsible for myself. That's just the way it is. In MS. You remember that. Remember, remember. CM is not YOUR joint.

3 years, 3 years straight we populate a joint, give it our business, know it inside out. Drink by the bottles, not by the freeflow tags. Know the ground, tilled the land. Remember, remember. Please. I'm really worn out by holding a grudge.

2. Sunday

Perhaps, I got cursed too much, by someone clueless about what the fuck just happened. Thus, TTSH A&E had the opportunity to meet me early in the morning with a broken nose, fractured thumb and a dislocated right shoulder.

Yes, yes, yes. The dreams I know. But, I don't believe. It's just meant to be. You mean if I stayed home I couldn't have had a tremendous fall? Or stuck my wet finger into the electrical socket?

3. Monday

6 am I go work. 8 am I walk out. This is life. Edison got me this damn nice shirt ah. From HK. Cost him only SGD 7. Sumsort with the words 'You win some, you lose some". So apt. The signs of God. Not that one. The real one. With 2 eyes.

Oh yeah, went to see the eye specialist. They sent me from room to room and realized I wasn't suffering from Glaucoma. And for this great technical expertise, I paid 66 dollars. Haiz. Met Kiran. Love this boy. Was there with his grandma. Everytime I see him, he's doing something responsible and good natured. Thanks for the lift mate. And good luck with your NUS pricks.

But, he did tell me something interesting though. The exchange of, "so..I heard this about you" ... "did this happen to you recently". And after each story was shot down. He finally started getting it. People love to tell stories. And we love to hear them. Keep them up. I still haven't grown tired of that one bout my 4 year old son running around without a daddy. Work on it a bit more la. Bluff also need effort then believable right.

For once, I is gonna watch some Channel 5 instead. Old re-runs of Moulmein High.



Vesakless Day

If you is wondering where I went missing for the past 2 days, a la Ashley [thanks much babe, the only one who wondered if anything happened to me since I didnt blog], I was sleeping. I kid you not.

Thursday was a good day. Whatever happened during office hours I dutifully noted below, under My Boss. After that, I was quite proud of myself. Got my brother a new handphone. For 2 reasons:

1. I'm sick and tired of waking up and seeing him sneakily put my handphone back after taking a photo of himself and MMSing it to his email. Haiz, the problems of having an MSN and Friendster display picture for a 15 yr old.

2. He deserves to have one. I went through childhood freakin just wishing and envying and wanting and wanting. All everyone else had, I desired. I mean, to desire rich boys' things is one thing, but people my own income group? Now, that makes a kid real sad. And having to get stuff by producing academic results, I'm sure I can help my brother do without this. So, I got him a cam phone, one on the lower range but one he can definitely use to aksyen to the women a bit. Exactly what I told my mum: "Wait he want to make friend with a hot girl, she see his dinosaur phone where got give him respect?" To which she replied: "You one man enough, to spoil him to death". Can't help it. He's the sayang of the family and it just is good that is so.

Then, it was off to the club. I initially wanted to laze and then go temple the next day, Vesak ma. Get Buddha's blessings la. The more the better. But then, one of my abang called and said Cheekys is reopening for members only, the first night. So we had to go have a look. Especially, that club. From now on, there will be no Boat Quay stories. If you need me, hop down to River Valley Road, you'll find me passing the courvoisier.

So, pre-club ritual at BQ first. Spoke bout this before, no need revision. Just tons and tons of stout. This time we had Beach Rd Soup Tulang and some good juicy beef satay. I tell you, you gimme a $101 burger and $100 worth of satay. I will munch on satay till the peanut sauce trickles out of my nostrils. Then off to the club.

When we departed BQ, there was only 10 or so people with us. When we got there, and grabbed a table. There was 40. Where the mystery 30 came from. I have no idea. But it was intimidating. For the rest. Customary "hellos", "hug hug kiss kiss" already, hit the bottle motherfucker. I have no idea how much was drunk. But, my usually rock steady abangs all were snoozing by the time the 6th bottle went down. Then the supplemental jugs. Then, the pool. Drunken pool brings about Shaolin drunken master shots. Try it, you will realize how banana kicks are made by one time Singapore legend, S.Rajagopal. Thing is you do it with a cue ball here.

Amazingly, zero violence. So, coupla us. The non-drunk and the drunk but still can continue crowd went down to Bedroom Bar. I was spared the financial burden due to a huge favour I did earlier on the night. It can't be named, but its huge enough to ensure no one dare asks me dough for the next 1 month or so. Which is fantastic, since my pay didn't come in. See, I started work on the 9th. Payday is the 10th. So, since they can't pay me for just 1 day. They gonna pay me next month on the 10th. So, from now till then, I should just "eat air" la. OR shall I "eat snake"?

I got hit on by a tranny at bedroom. She took my phone, keyed her number, said she was Sasha, and wanted to get on my lap. I declined, declined, declined and ran to the toilet going "Kak, tolong la Kak". So, my abang's wife did me a favour by politely telling the tranny that if she wanted to fuck me, she would have to fork out the bill, cos I have 2 dollars on me. The tranny then concentrated on the seemingly loaded ang moh fella the rest of the night.

A slight flash of violence occurred. This is the kinda things that I don't like. Cos it puts me in a spot. This happens when my guys decide they wanna roast a group of Indian guys. So, immediately in these situations, the Indian guys either gimme the look of death, the "you tamilan yet choosing the malay guys side" look. Or they gimme the look of understanding, the "you tamilan so we expect you to do the talkin and make sure nothing goes further than just talkin". When put in a spot, thus, I just bedek mabok. Act drunk. Suddenly cannot walk properly. Suddenly cannot sit properly. Keep rubbing my tummy macam gonna puke on the next person who makes me open my mouth to speak. Ah, essssssssssscape!

Walked out into the sunshine at 7am. Thanks diana for calling me in the morning. Mighty sweet of you. It kept me awake amidst the blasting aircon in the cab. No wonder my abang went to sleep at the back. Fuckin funny la, when you see rough and tough fellas just curl up and sleep on their wife's lap after a long night drinking. Haiz. IF only I had a woman........

Then, after 4 pratas [anneh! give you money tmrw] and a long sweet drag of my Viceroys [ah chek! give you money tmrw]. I went to bed. And I woke up. And it was Saturday morning. 24 goddamn hours I slept. Twenty fuckin four! How I did it, I don't know. But it felt damn good. Imagine just missing out on one whole day of your life, just like that. Shiok!

Try it someday people.


A special apology to Chits:

I know I said I would. I know you told me not to, out of concern and you were genuinely worried. I'm sorry I didnt message. I'm sorry I didn't call. I didnt want you to fuck me up for not heeding your advice. Sorry baby.
I lau la chellam. I'll do it next time ok? I promise. I'll try at least. Have patience k? I need patient friends. Muack!

My Boss

I have a boss. A good boss. I think he's cool, the rest call him "bulldog". He's one of the hated ones in camp and no one really makes it secret. But he's cool with it, cos he hates every motherfucker on sight too. He looks pissed, mosta the time. Cept at the mess with a beer in hand. Or laughing at some one else's crude joke. Yeah, thats him. The beer and titties person. I like my boss.

So, its fucking unfair that when I am working at a dream office with a dream boss that we have stuck with us another aging, slow poke, underling. Colleague in question has been quite long in the service, but it is also quite obvious that he has "missed the boat", "missed the promotion" and is gonna "henta kaki"[marching in a standstill manner]. I used to pity his state, and felt my boss fucked him more than he ought to. But 3 days into working full time with him, and I can feel the man's pain. My boss's that is.

Now picture this, a meeting takes place in February. But the minutes of the meeting is done and sent out only in May! Work given now, is only started on next week, due to the fuckin ineffectiveness, ineptitude and hare-brainess of said individual. He's the guy who in a fire, doesn't run for his life, but chooses to email the head office saying there are not enough fire extinguishers at the office. Tell me la, what to do with this kinda peeper all? I'm 24, he's 40. I outrank him. I can fuck him. I can put him in his place in place of my boss. I can I can I can. Yet, I shouldn't. Why? Cos, he dutifully sends me to work and fetches me back since he is my neighbour.

My only payment for this service is listening to his long winded bitching and his wayward thinking about his delusional life in which he is right and my boss is wrong. I feel so two-timing. Nod head here. Nod head there. Grit my teeth and wait for my turn to use the computer so I can clear work from January. Basically, that's about what I do each day. Not focussing on MY work, but clearing HIS work. The backlog is from here to the moon! And if I don't clear it. Everyone's work don't move. My boss can't be seen clearing it, though he gets soo exasperated that he just does it on the sly sometimes. In constant irritation la.

Thank god, Edison is back from HK. At least, I have company for lunch, smoke breaks, bitching sessions, after work beers now. Not to mention the occasional 'tuang' [to malinger] portions. Where we both just go missing. A la X files missing. And return mysteriously from our "alien abduction" going "Aiya..you lookin for us don't know how to call handphone meh? We just [insert number] floor talking to that that [insert rank greater than individual questioning us] ma.... so stress for what?"

But, now for the flowchart. Or the P-chart, name coined for a variety of Indian vulgarities and the initial of the man who influenced it. The "how-NOT-to-arrange-a-meeting" chart.


1. Choose date and time to hold meeting
2. Clear this date and time with the boss's schedule. Expect 3-4 more visits to Step 1.
3. Now that a full month has been wasted and meeting has been set to just 2 days to go, frantically e-mail all who are concerned to attend the goddamn thing.
4. When no one emails you back, pissed off about your late notification, call them and ask them to come.
5. When everyone still gives half-fuck excuses or tells you to go fly kite saying they already have something on, email from your boss's account. Or tell your boss to email them.
6. Day arrives, and only a "suitable replacement" from each unit arrives. The main men know better than to waste their time.
7. Don't book the conference room ahead of time. Attempt to sneak in when no one is expecting you, or better still just wait outside and ride off the last meeting so you can say you're actually "part of them" but they left first.
8. When you get chased out, call up favours from everywhere else and secure THEIR conference room. Move your folks there.
9. Instead of rushing to be the first at the new location so as to set up the slides and projector, fixate your attention on drawing a beautiful sign that says: The Meeting has moved to so-and-so place. Leave your folks stranded at new location till you arrive.
10. Arrive and realize there is no computer and now you gotta loan a laptop from someplace.
11. Realize that your files are no more in the network cos your fucking email capacity was full and the msg didnt get sent out anyway.
12. Take another 1 hour to sort out your nonsense while the rest fume and smoke and drink coffee and wait.
13. Start the meeting and don't do basic stuff, like take attendance.
14. When it comes to your turn when the chairman [my boss] goes "any questions", bring up a totally unrelated point which no one thought to think about cos it's well, unrelated.
15. Rouse their curiosity and await to get shot down. Get shot down by your own boss in front of 15 outsiders by this pristine statement, "Is it in black and white? No? You already unsure, still say you think you think, knnb you bring up this crap for what?"
16. Grumble beneath your breath to closest man [that would be me], on how long winded your boss is.
17. Wrap up the meeting, thank everyone like they just gave you a million dollars for attending and rush up to type the minutes cos it's still fresh in your mind lest you forget any facts.
18. Forget some important facts and bug me and the boss for the next few hours, making us digest our lunch in just 5 mins while replying to your hare-brained questions.
19. Type the minutes, and constantly modify the font, justification and paragraphing while accidentally deleting whole sections cos you just don't know a mouse needs to be "sayang"ed not brute-forced.
20. Finish the minutes, in 5 months. Endure a good shellacking everyday of those 5 months when people can't find anything else to fuck you up on.

Tada! My 20 point list. Steady boh? I tell you, lucky I patient fella. Back to my boss being great, I leave you with his 2 quotable quotes of this week. Ones that I just buay tahan, fuckin laugh till cry. Even though a coupla bigger guns were lookin on. They see my reaction, they also laugh. They laugh only the rest of the "we can appreciate jokes only when the big bosses appreciate them" people laugh. All laugh. Cos it's super fuckin funny.

Nombor Satu:

When some smart aleck science geek fella said of lightning risks: "Aiya, Sir, when out in the field no need to so zhun zhun give people lightning information ma. Just see the light, count how many seconds to the thunder than you know la, the storm how far away."

My boss replied offhandedly: "Ya ya, you can do that also. What I worry is that, that light he see becomes his last lightning. Then left who to count the seconds?"

Nombor Dua:

The P-man: "Don't worry sir, I rush it to you in a while/I work on it in 5 minutes time/I will finish it by the time we leave/First thing in the morning I show you."

My boss: "Eh, you ah, type type also use 2 finger like praying mantis. Like this how to fight war? Hor shanker hor? [thump hands on table] Like this how to fight war??!?!!?!?!?"



Dream on Mofo

I have of last night had 3 consecutive dreams about my death.

Dream 1: Friends beat the fuck outa me, stabbed me, I died.
Dream 2: Friends beat the fuck outa me, I died.
Dream 3: Beating part is fuzzy, I died.

Friends in these 3 dreams refer to a real 'rojak' combination of past and present acquaintances some of which I was shocked I even dreamt about.

Reactions to this dream:

Aruna: "Dreams you can remember, never come true"
[Logically this is wrong. If whatever you don remember, comes true then...how would you even be able to correlate real life events to dream events? You shouldn't have remembered the dream event ma...]

Mum: "Go and pray at the temple. You always don't go temple"

Grandma: "I don't know all this how to translate. Go pray at temple"

Brother: "Wah, die already ah...can I have your room and your computer?"

So, I had to defer to a real dream analyst, that being my darlin Chitra,

Chitra: "It means your life is in danger. Be careful for the next few days. A good friend will probably turn on you."

And still, I was curious so I proceeded to go look online. Came across coupla articles and sites and this is what they said:

Death (yours)
Certainly one of the most upsetting dreams of all, you may see or feel yourself dying, no matter the method.
Meaning: Obviously, this can cause anxiety, but the dream itself is positive, as it signals that your life is about to change for the better. There are important changes ahead. Still, it may also mean that you have a destructive lifestyle or that you're in an unhealthy relationship.

You dream that you're fighting with somebody. It might even be to the death.
Meaning: You may interpret this as an indication that you're experiencing inner turmoil. Ideals within you are competing for attention. If you fight to the death, it could mean that you're not willing to acknowledge a conflict in your waking life.

To dream that you have been stabbed, signifies your struggle with power. You may be experiencing feelings of inadequacy and defensiveness. Alternatively, you may be feeling betrayed as the popular phrase goes, "being stabbed in the back".

To see your friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news.

So, how coincidental can it get, when I get home after work and lazing on the couch checking out the papers, I get an sms. From Simren, and it went like this:

Simren: Hi shanks! Where are you now?? I just woke up from a bad dream bout you. Take care and be careful. God bless.
Me: Gimme details. What happened? Where was I?
Simren: I think something happeneed to you. You got bitten by an animal.. the animal survived, I don't think you did.I have a bad feeling. Just be careful ok?
Me: [many many questions]

So, Sim calls and gives me the lowdown.
You were at my place and we were getting ready to go see Cheryl and the others. Then, we saw my rat. Someone gave that to me and I didn't want it. The rat doesnt come near me cos it knows I will give it away. The rat was light brown, a baby rat. Then you said you'd help me with it so grabbed on to it. The rat bit you and continued doing so. Suddenly, I looked around and you were nowhere to be seen. I knew then you were dead.

I mean like FUCK! right! I died! AGAIN! So, back to the research board.


To see rats in your dream, signifies feelings of doubts, guilt and/or envy. You are having unworthy thoughts that you are keeping to yourself but are eating you up inside. Alternatively, it denotes repulsion. The dream may also be a pun on someone who is a rat. To see a black rat, represents deceit and covert activities. To see a white rat in your dream, denotes that in your time of distress, you will receive assistance from an unexpected source. To dream that a rat is biting your feet, symbolizes the rat race that you are experiencing in your waking life.

My mum's interpretation for this episode?

Mum: "The rat is Vinayagar's vehicle. So, you means he is angry with you. Go and make offerings at the temple. Told you go temple right."

Drats. Her tune doesn't change. Anyhow, if any of you has a granny or a mummy or daddy who knows how to read dreams and it varies from Chitra's interpretation, do leave me a comment.

Late addition
I was recounting the story to Diana and she goes:
Diana: don't tell me you dreamt this last night?
Me: Why? Did you also dream bout me? Tell me. Tell me.
Diana: Oh, it was quite a dumb dream. I dreamt you called me to tell me you were dead.

After all this, I am still fuckin blur.

www.dreammoods.com for your answers and more.


Quote of the day: "She laughs at my dreams, but I dream of her laughter."

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Holla if you hear me

nAl said...

"One who swears is someone who goes "Fuck!". One who is a walking profanity, IS a fuck. "

This is possibly the best quotable quote I have read in this blog yet!! Keep up the good life, Shanker..lets piss the holier than thou pricks of the world as much as we possible can!

Aight. I is happy when I get rave comments from you folks. So keep it pouring, bad or good. Actually, I don't ever post comments back, but then again, taking another swipe is oh-so-unmissable. Especially when I know you do read me sweetie. Don't be a batti girl.

The gems that drop by my email sometimes:

Extreme right girl, just remained that way..frozen in that expression. 3 days after I went to piss. Damn. Sorry sweetheart. Was born with it.

See, now I know what line to use immediately after "Actually I'm an officer..."

Work is such a bitch. As usual as i predicted. Took me 9 hours of entertainment finding today. I read copies of The New Paper all the way till early March. Amazingly, I didn't even visit Aruna's cubicle to sit down and disturb her even once. Just stood beyond the partition, a safe distance to make it some intra-colleague hi-bye, lest the BITCH be watching and goes a smooching her big boss's butt and complains bout that dear girl again.

For the initial episode on THE BITCH WARS. Click here.

The BITCH actually dared smile at me summore today as we passed in the corridor. On the other hand, I've got Rene, Edison, Kenneth [undergoing operation], Sherwin and Kenny to suffice with for good company. As expected, me boss is "this" close to adopting me as his godson. He trusts me over his damn spellchecker and thesaurus for gods sake. I is ruler of the office. Again. =)

Another 3 months of this recurring Groundhog Day? A bewildering thought. But it must be done. Except for 5 beautifully placed days of annual leave and a coupla more MCs. MCs are the forefront of office politics. Place them well, and you will never have a bad day at all.

I repeat, I is not of bad work ethic. I just cannot be in a place where there is abso-fucking-luting-zero to do each day. Or work to be done and no computer in sight. My 2 main peeves when I go back for attachments. Oh well, wake me up when August ends.



Of Culture

Firstly, for all the reasons I get dumped by hot chicas refer to RT's link, here.

Next, as I was explaining to someone last night. Information is power. Last uttered by Senthil in BOYS, you remember the scene, where he has his 'magic' book of exactly what free prasadham is given out in which temple, such that he never goes without a meal. Eat and sleep lifestyle. That's his power. Generally, information is power. That's credo no.1 The second motherhood statement following that closely is definitely, "2 people can keep a secret, if 1 of them's dead". You choose la, who should die.

Otherwise, just to follow a certain fiasco that is occurring in the undercurrents of certain circles. I'd like to discourse today about culture. This whole idea of what makes a "cultured" person.

I was kinda browsing thru the Friendly service a few days ago, and I saw something that piqued my interest. Greatly. Something was shouting out to me. Like "Shanker shanker..come here and take a look and be apalled and comment on me". So, I answered the call.

Consider this a KLKilling. Cos, no matter how much it tries and convinces us that it belongs to the anti-thesis of a KLK, i beg to differ.

Schools (Other):
St. ***** Primary School, CHIJ St. *****, C**** Junior College, NUS FASS


anythin singaporeans.. [note spelling error, from an Arts n Soci student no less]

Hobbies and Interests:
slackin whenever possible.. sleeping, lazing around.. slammin imports [made in Singapore girl? Fair enough. Patriotism. Throw away all your shampoos and hair conditioners now. Last I heard, Thailand was producing them by the truck loads]

Who I Want to Meet:

But no clubbers. no smokers. no drunks. no walking profanities.

No converts (one's own culture and OWN religion is an asset. it aint a toy for u to just discard and exchange for another, just cos a new one makes u happy. tts de epitome of immaturity & shallowness).

Someone who's simple, with strength in character and principles.

Someone who doesn't fall prey to vices as easily. Meaning someone who's not fundamentally stupid in the brains.

This the portion I take such offense at. In one swooping paragraph, I as a human being have been degraded to being immature/shallow/weak and stupid. Damn! But, also my grasp of the English language was fundamentally rocked.

One who clubs = clubber, one who smokes = smoker, one who drinks = drunk, one who swears = walking profanity.

Ideally, shouldn't this be worded differently. One who swears is someone who goes "Fuck!". One who is a walking profanity, IS a fuck. A dumb fuck too, since he fell prey to vices. Right, the carrion are circling over my corpse waiting to prey on my final sticks of Viceroy and drink off the last drops of Stout I have dribbling down my chin.

Did I miss the converts bit? Choosing one's faith I feel is one of the fundamental rights of a human being. A day old child is born Muslim/Hindu/Catholic/Jew cos he just doesn't know any better. And with information and the understanding of the pillars of the respective faiths. Anyone has a choice later to switch as they please. Isn't the idea to attain Nirvana. Or is the idea to just profess yourself to be a Shiva/Vishnu/Brahma fan and publicize it.

I personally am faithless. Church, mosque, temples, synagogues: Been to all, prayed at all, confessed to all, follower of none.

Possibly, someone has taught this girl wrongly. About tolerance. About being a human. About professing a very irritating condescending attitude towards all that don't share her view. Sad, really. This entire idea of what makes a "cultured" person or a "classy" Indian. Do you wake up at 6am, sing the Gayathri Subrabatham, put vibuthi, hop into your Punjabi suit and then traverse to school or wherever and back home, observing your curfew just in time to do 6 pm prayers? Or do you still shop at This Fashion, hang out at Far East or wherever people of your age group go, discriminate against particular religions and at the end of the day proclaim your "classiness".

I'll tell you about class. I have no idea if I possess any. If someone says I do, then I do. And I'm happy. But class is not about your Ferragamo suit or your Tag Heuer watch. About your vibuthi or your godliness. Class is from deep down inside. It's from the heart and it forms your character.

Bitching behind people's back [someone you don't even know personally]: Not classy.
Non-physically pointing out the utter non-classiness of a deranged undergrad: Talented class.

So, take a step back. You is still young. Observe your innate inherent qualities. You are not all perfect no matter how people have convinced you, that you are. As an observer, you is not there yet. Long way honey. For starters, stop your goddamn discrimination. I think it's pretty sick when you have this hate for a particular religion after schooling in 3 christian schools till you hit cosmopolitan NUS.

And my timely response to this elegant/classy/cultured person's profile [paraphrased cos of my bad memory]:

Shanker has just smiled at you.
Smoker, drunk, walking profanity. All this, I am and much more. =)
Ay Caramba!
Late addition: Due to feedback that I am not the most tolerant person around. Lemme set things straight. I am intolerant of stupidity and character flaws and most of all the lack of integrity. However, discrimination against race/creed/religion is unheard of in my circles. If you still don't believe. I think Yusoff, John, Ravi and Ah Seng of AMK will be able to put things right.
We, the citizens of Singapore, pledge ourselves as one united people, regardless of race, language or religion, to build a democratic society based on justice and equality so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation.

Wanna be a Playmate?

So, you think you can get your buff nude bod into the hallowed centrefolds of Playboy and earn yourself a ticket to the Mansion? Get through the casting call first.

Unfortunately, nudity isn't one of YouTube's lifelines. So, buzz me on MSN and I'll send you the file.


Voting Day


So, I cast my vote. At 6 pm. I just knew I'd be too smashed to do it in the morning. One gentle reminder. Your vote is secret. You don't have to publicize who you crossed the box for. Just a gentle reminder. We all know when the time comes to cross, it don't matter how many people you attract at your rallies. People do what's best for themselves, at least what they think is best. PAP winning by 66% in Ang Mo Kio is more than proof enough. Of course, if you wanna be a big cheebai you should come across the first RC member you see, engage in small talk, comment on how its your first time voting and go "Worker Party!" together with flashing the "west side" sign. I always knew Snoop Dogg was on to something with that.

Hip Hip Hooray for Chiam See Tong and Low Thia Kiang! The helmsters of the respective opposition parties. You've held your ground and won by a BIGGER margin than the last elections. For that, the people of Potong Pasir and Hougang MUST be held in high regard. To forsake 80 million dollars for lifts and parks and shelters and what not. Oh well, we should only build on this. Show the people that in these next 5 years, life doesn't deteriorate and is in fact getting better. Show Singapore, you can run a town council and be understanding to ur residents' complaints and queries.

My suggestion is ultimately to close down the lesser parties. They do not stand out enough, don't look organized enough and just don't look kilat. We should have just PAP vs. WP. Everyone under one 'shirt' if you will. Then got enough candidates to spread around and contest EVERY GRC/SMC. Just cos a GRC wasn't contested doesn't mean the people there are totally pro PAP. And please take down the idiotic placards stating "Thanks for your support. Returned unopposed" in all the walkover wards. It's fuckin lame. And it don't mean you won bozos.

A cab driver was telling me bout Thailand the democracy there. It seems there is no such thing as a walkover. Even if there is only 1 contestant in the ward, people still go in to vote. This time its a basic YES or NO vote. If the fella doesn't get a certain percentage of YES votes, he also don't get to go Parliament. The entire process is then restarted to find another candidate.

Now, this is democracy. This is the procedure in even my Hall committee last time. Even if got only 1 fella who standing for lets say Sports Secretary, he still gotta get 66% of the votes to go through.

Alas, we is saddled with people who just join politics at the tender age of 30, not even married yet [how will they understand the woes of the common man, with debts and family and a job to think of] and can miraculously go through their entire poltiicking career without even a single election contest. What good lives we lead.

And what sickens me to the fucking core is this whole idea of minority representation. In theory it looks good. In practicum, get a life. If my powers of deduction are not too bad, the idea of minority representation is for someone to speak up for the respective ethnic groups. To speak their language, converse with the elderly, especially those who don't know English. And here we have Vivien giving a fucking pathetic "Ungal aatharavuku mikka nandri" speech that is as callous to the ears as someone doing a bad Michael Jackson imitation. Indranee Rajah? She says "my aim after winning this election is to learn some Tamil". Dude! This is not right. Do we all remember Thanabalan? Who couldn't speak a word of Tamil too? This is one area I think the gahmen really needs to buck the fuck up.

And what is with all these middle aged people and dressing up to go and vote. Voting, or the act of drawing a cross nicely takes a maximum of 5 seconds. This is not counting the time queueing and all la. But of course, if you vote at 6pm, mana ada queue? Breeze in breeze out.

My mum asked me to comb hair la, not wear shorts la, don't take handphone go la. All these nonsense just to draw a cross? And people DO dress up. And make it like a family outing summore. I don't get it. Voting is a solemn event. Don't garnish it like as if you turning up for a wedding man. Leave the frillies. Just go do what you have to do. Doinks!


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