Vesakless Day

If you is wondering where I went missing for the past 2 days, a la Ashley [thanks much babe, the only one who wondered if anything happened to me since I didnt blog], I was sleeping. I kid you not.

Thursday was a good day. Whatever happened during office hours I dutifully noted below, under My Boss. After that, I was quite proud of myself. Got my brother a new handphone. For 2 reasons:

1. I'm sick and tired of waking up and seeing him sneakily put my handphone back after taking a photo of himself and MMSing it to his email. Haiz, the problems of having an MSN and Friendster display picture for a 15 yr old.

2. He deserves to have one. I went through childhood freakin just wishing and envying and wanting and wanting. All everyone else had, I desired. I mean, to desire rich boys' things is one thing, but people my own income group? Now, that makes a kid real sad. And having to get stuff by producing academic results, I'm sure I can help my brother do without this. So, I got him a cam phone, one on the lower range but one he can definitely use to aksyen to the women a bit. Exactly what I told my mum: "Wait he want to make friend with a hot girl, she see his dinosaur phone where got give him respect?" To which she replied: "You one man enough, to spoil him to death". Can't help it. He's the sayang of the family and it just is good that is so.

Then, it was off to the club. I initially wanted to laze and then go temple the next day, Vesak ma. Get Buddha's blessings la. The more the better. But then, one of my abang called and said Cheekys is reopening for members only, the first night. So we had to go have a look. Especially, that club. From now on, there will be no Boat Quay stories. If you need me, hop down to River Valley Road, you'll find me passing the courvoisier.

So, pre-club ritual at BQ first. Spoke bout this before, no need revision. Just tons and tons of stout. This time we had Beach Rd Soup Tulang and some good juicy beef satay. I tell you, you gimme a $101 burger and $100 worth of satay. I will munch on satay till the peanut sauce trickles out of my nostrils. Then off to the club.

When we departed BQ, there was only 10 or so people with us. When we got there, and grabbed a table. There was 40. Where the mystery 30 came from. I have no idea. But it was intimidating. For the rest. Customary "hellos", "hug hug kiss kiss" already, hit the bottle motherfucker. I have no idea how much was drunk. But, my usually rock steady abangs all were snoozing by the time the 6th bottle went down. Then the supplemental jugs. Then, the pool. Drunken pool brings about Shaolin drunken master shots. Try it, you will realize how banana kicks are made by one time Singapore legend, S.Rajagopal. Thing is you do it with a cue ball here.

Amazingly, zero violence. So, coupla us. The non-drunk and the drunk but still can continue crowd went down to Bedroom Bar. I was spared the financial burden due to a huge favour I did earlier on the night. It can't be named, but its huge enough to ensure no one dare asks me dough for the next 1 month or so. Which is fantastic, since my pay didn't come in. See, I started work on the 9th. Payday is the 10th. So, since they can't pay me for just 1 day. They gonna pay me next month on the 10th. So, from now till then, I should just "eat air" la. OR shall I "eat snake"?

I got hit on by a tranny at bedroom. She took my phone, keyed her number, said she was Sasha, and wanted to get on my lap. I declined, declined, declined and ran to the toilet going "Kak, tolong la Kak". So, my abang's wife did me a favour by politely telling the tranny that if she wanted to fuck me, she would have to fork out the bill, cos I have 2 dollars on me. The tranny then concentrated on the seemingly loaded ang moh fella the rest of the night.

A slight flash of violence occurred. This is the kinda things that I don't like. Cos it puts me in a spot. This happens when my guys decide they wanna roast a group of Indian guys. So, immediately in these situations, the Indian guys either gimme the look of death, the "you tamilan yet choosing the malay guys side" look. Or they gimme the look of understanding, the "you tamilan so we expect you to do the talkin and make sure nothing goes further than just talkin". When put in a spot, thus, I just bedek mabok. Act drunk. Suddenly cannot walk properly. Suddenly cannot sit properly. Keep rubbing my tummy macam gonna puke on the next person who makes me open my mouth to speak. Ah, essssssssssscape!

Walked out into the sunshine at 7am. Thanks diana for calling me in the morning. Mighty sweet of you. It kept me awake amidst the blasting aircon in the cab. No wonder my abang went to sleep at the back. Fuckin funny la, when you see rough and tough fellas just curl up and sleep on their wife's lap after a long night drinking. Haiz. IF only I had a woman........

Then, after 4 pratas [anneh! give you money tmrw] and a long sweet drag of my Viceroys [ah chek! give you money tmrw]. I went to bed. And I woke up. And it was Saturday morning. 24 goddamn hours I slept. Twenty fuckin four! How I did it, I don't know. But it felt damn good. Imagine just missing out on one whole day of your life, just like that. Shiok!

Try it someday people.


A special apology to Chits:

I know I said I would. I know you told me not to, out of concern and you were genuinely worried. I'm sorry I didnt message. I'm sorry I didn't call. I didnt want you to fuck me up for not heeding your advice. Sorry baby.
I lau la chellam. I'll do it next time ok? I promise. I'll try at least. Have patience k? I need patient friends. Muack!

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