Back to Camp

It's that time of year again. When the uniform comes out of the wardrobe, gets pressed daily by a friggin hot iron, collars starched, pleats done razor sharp, shoes polished to a gleam [nah..i don bother with that actually]. And I'm gonna be off to camp in more than a week to go.

So, happy, there is a God after all. Of all the places I'd wanna be posted to, ChongPang camp is like the numero uno choice. Always. Why would I ever wanna work elsewhere? I got a MSG sending me to work and back, he lives right next to my block. Fantastic clerks, all friends-of-the-neh honorary club members. This just about means, morning breakfast, about 5 smoke breaks a day, lunch, tea break and then a beer after the day is done.

Get to see pretty pretty Aruna also. Though, she has warned me she is going to be overloaded with work this season round and thus I can't just make her cubicle my hideout in need of a good chair and book during the times when I have nothing to do. Wait. That's all the time. It isn't my fault really, I just have this penchant of getting work done fast. You gimme 2 week deadline, I'll give it to you back in 2 working days. Just, so I got more time researching soccer bets, surfing dumbass blogs, reading on the latest antics of the MenInWhite and of course doing massive calculations on the bare minimum time I have left to serve.

And my boss. He the man. Not those kinda inspirational i'll-give-my-life-up-for-ya type. In fact, he's quite disliked amongst the people who have to deal with him, cos he asks for too much and too rudely at times. Imagine, he's a major but turns up late at a meeting chaired by a general. Nuff said. My kinda punk. Oh well, he gonna ROD soon also.

What I do love about him is that, he doesn't bother you at all when the work is designated. No "gimme regular updates ah", No "so where are you at with this and this". Just a "get this done by so and so date" and almost invariably, I'd impress the socks outa him. Cos, he just has an incompetent staff working for him. One of those kinda absent minded, constantly distracted, fucking long winded blokes who gets a 1 min job done in 1 week. The kind that would rather discuss the issue at hand over 5 emails than in a 5 second phone call. The kind that hasnt heard the term "call you back", so ensures that every phone call that is made is also lasting an eternity. How not to look good compared to this geezer. Not to mention geezer is 45 and gotta call me Sir and this the same geezer that sends me to work. Whee! Every geddamit morning I gotta handle his bitching and night too. The price of a free ride.

But, as I was saying. I love my boss. And the building. And the camp. And the canteen. And the swimming pool. And the chio medic at the medical centre. And the street soccer court. And the endless choice of lunch options.

So happy, I am. Chong Pang for the third time in a row. Damn, wot a record.

On the other hand, if you are looking for an excuse to start your long weekend with earlier than usual [cue: Vesak Day], try one of these. Hopefully, your boss don't understand cheem Engrish.

1. I have horrible gas and I don't want my work environment to be a fire hazard due to all of the methane gas that will be coming out of me. It would not be a productive work day for anyone.
2. I'm calling in scared. I am "afraid" that I am not coming in today.
3. I can't work today. I have a vision problem - can't see myself working today.
4. I can't come in to work today because of illness and fatigue. I'm sick and tired of my job.
5. I can't come to work today. My wife is getting pregnant and I want to be there.
6. I can't come in today because I've just realized I actually save money if I stay at home. Apart from the bus fare, the prices in your canteen are outrageous and I always end up drinking at lunchtime to cope with the depression of working for you.
7.I'm sorry I won't be in today. I have to rescue my friends and save the world (again).

8. I have lost my American Express Card and I cannot leave home without it.
9. I'm calling in ugly today because if I come in I'm going to get really ugly with you. 10. I can't come to work today because I am suffering from ergophobia. (fear of work)


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