Bits and Pieces

Pardon me as I clean up my desktop. And schooled in the old adage that nothing should be thrown away unless it crumbles into dust first, I insist on posting all the old jpegs I found hanging around and of no use. I'd like them to be of no use to you too. I wanted to do some photoblog thingy but my ego prevents me from posting anything that doesn't have some filigree gold leafed prose of mine attached to it. Hence, photos with captions or paragraphs which may or may not enhance the original montage.

Not in chronological order:

1. 4bia movie ticket x 1

As you might note, it was for a Thai horror flick at GV in PS at 2340H. Problem was after reaching the damn cinema at 2335H and sitting through 15 mins of commercials, the movie was never watched. I had never seen someone agree with me that quickly.

Me: Eh, why still haven't start ah?
She: Wait la wait.
Me: I tell you what, I'm gonna count to 3 and then I'm gonna up and leave. Fuck this movie. I can't be bothered to wait for it to begin.
She: Then what shall we do?
Me: Duh! Drink la.
She: On. Let's go.

And then we drank, and then we did a whole lotta other stuff. But the key point was that she agreed with me in 3 seconds flat. And yeah the whole lotta other stuff was good too (in case I am being read).

2. St. Pat's clover face tattoo

Twas January if I am not wrong. And me and Darren and Nigel and Nal (though it wasn't really a great night for her, damn SAF fuckers and their long long bitchfits), were savouring the Irish tradition of the dark liquid and declaring that there were no snakes in Ireland to that little Leprechaun who so happened to be sitting at our table too. He was muttering something about rainbows, but the only one we knew was the shop that sold goldfish and luo han in Serangoon North so he kinda left in disgust after a while.

And then there was Wendy. Wendy who made Darren come up with the "All girls who have a tattoo (tribal especially) on their lower backs HAVE to have had waitressing experience at least once in their lives. It had to be a pre-requisite." And it was definitely not my fault nor my doing that Wendy happened to put up in Ang Mo Kio too. A bit of sake, shabu shabu and sukiyaki one Wednesday evening later, this clover tattoo lost its significance on us.

3. Admission ticket to the Anime Festival Asia 08.

Having been very fired up about attending an Anime Fest, I gamely paid for Darren's ticket too in order to open his mind's eye to that world that I get ridiculed so much for just because I take an active interest in it.

In the end, I fucking hated it! WTF was going on? This was the first expo I attended and I wasn't even tempted to purchase a single thing. Not even a cheesy keychain which I am very famous for. I own so many bric-a-brac keychains and lack the keys to slide them into. I just don't know how to describe the event further. I think Darren summed it up quite succintly in this one question: "Eh, you decided to come see this thing to feel younger is it?"

Nuff said.

4. Screenshot off the La Senza webbie

Apparently, the newest La Senza creations are, wait don't flip, PussyCat Dolls lingerie. What has the world come to? And the best part is, it isn't even designed by any of those washboard tummied girls. The design stems from their manager! Robin Antin, the creator and manager of the PCD! Do I really need to go on about this? I guessed as much.

5. A weblink: "Enough with the Poking, Let's Just have Sex" Facebook Group.

I forgot I had bookmarked it to blog it like way back when policemen wore shorts (They still wear shorts though, when they're having PT training and the likes).

An extract from the main page, with minor edits because people can get longwinded when they have an audience of 402,354 as of 1700H today.


I) Never poke someone you dont know and haven't spoken to, simply because you find them attractive. Stop being obvious and gross/stalker-y.

II) Don't poke anyone you don't want to have sex with. You'd just be an asshole giving them the wrong message. If you "just want to say hello", then IM them or comment on their profile etc, and actually say hello.

III) Don't return any pokes to the person who poked you if you dont find them attractive. You'll just be leading them on. It's not cool to break unnecessary hearts.

IV) Straight men don't poke other men. It is never appropriate. End of story.

V) DONT OVER-POKE! If you're poking more out of routine than to display real affections, you're poking too much. Limiting the frequency with which you poke helps retain the value of a single poke.

VI) If your poking is becoming too frequent, you need to have sex already. Once you've been poking back and forth for a few days, it becomes time to take the poking from the internet to the bedroom...or shower, kitchen, main lounge, attic, museum, airplane, fast-food restaurant bathroom, Chuck-E-Cheese's ball-pit, etc.

VII) Be careful when you decide to hide your pokes. Hiding a poke is the same thing as a rejection, and you don't want to send the wrong message to someone you might be interested in. If you are attracted to a person but don't want to be bothered with constantly poking back and forth, just leave the poke up there, it doesn't bite.

VIII) Poke wars are retarded (see #6). The process of poking isn't fun. You're just clicking a friggin' button. The sex that comes afterwards is the fun part. Two people competing over who "gets poked last" or who "pokes the other the most" or whatever is the most ridiculous concept I've ever heard. It's like two people sitting across from each other saying "I want to have sex" back and forth but with neither of them actually doing anything. They poked you, you poked them. Now stop the poking, and go have sex.

IX) If you like being an elusive, hard-to-get poke, don't give it up too soon! Sometimes, witholding that poke for a few days can intensify the relationship. Or, if you like subtly letting others know you're angry, take a long time to return their pokes, or hide their pokes altogether. Internet poking is as mental, as real poking is physical.

X) The last, but certainly not the least important Commandment: PRACTICING SAFER POKING.

It was already stated in the First Commandment that it's wrong to poke those you dont know that you only have physical attractions for, however, creeps are out there, and it happens nonetheless. DON'T POKE PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW. You never know who that mysterious person poking you is. You never know who they've poked, or even if they were safe pokers themselves. Unsafe poking can lead to stalker-esque relationships, both in and out of Facebook. And you never know who might give you a virus (be it spyware or herpes). Neither of us want that. Two ways to poke safer are: to completely abstain from poking (this is the only 100% safe, religiously appropriate way), and to only poke people you know. Also, putting up sexy, cute, or marginally attractive profile pictures that non-friends can see might lead to unwanted poking. Be wary...and slutty/hoish at your own risk. I recommend neutral profile pictures of puppies, flowers, or famous athletes. Doing anything else might attract attention and end disasterously!


1 comment:

nAl said...

Aw, it wasn't so bad. Any night with Kilkenny is a good night.
We doing it again next year, rite, batty boy?