Ah Kow's Pigs

I have a friend. Her name's Div. And she's a damn good read. An example in reference to rising minister's salaries:

THE STORY OF Ah Kow, the Singaporean FARMER

Ah-Kow was overseeing his herd of animals in the last family farm in Singapore when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the peasant, "If I tell you exactly how many sows and piglets you have in your herd, Will you give me a piglet?"

Ah-Kow looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the peasant and says, "You have exactly 986 pigs and piglets."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my piglets," says Ah-Kow. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Ah-Kow says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my piglet?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a MP for the PAP", says Ah-Kow. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the Ah-Kow, "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid inspite of your million dollar salary for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.

You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about pigs...this is a herd of goats. Now give me back my dog."

And she unearths gems like these. Before this clip, I thought Dick Lee was some sissy who should have been bitch slapped after writing Fried Rice Paradise (nasi goreng very nice..over 40 varieties...come and eat...please please):

And at the same 30th anniversary concert, we have Hossan, Kumar and the portion prior to his Lee Kuan YOU melody.

1 comment:

sassychix said...

LOL.. love the joke abt PAP