Agni Aftermath 1

Ok, This going to be a 3 part special. Logically, the first part should be the review of Agni 2006 is it not? Part 2 will be a review of the last one held, Agni 2002. And then Part 3 of course is my ultimate bitch fest of the TLDDS of the school in general. Damn, I got lotsa tales to offload.

So, to start off, Agni 2006

The background:

1. Date
Who the fuck holds a show on a Monday? Are you bonkers or what. Don't you know a cultural show is the ideal excuse to go out get a few beers and bitch about it/the women/the horrendous items? And how am I supposed to do it on a Monday? When everyone else is worrying about school and work. Yes, I get it. First day of the 1 week hols, it's a public show geddamit. Get a brain...

2. Venue
Was that an auditorium? No, really. It was?
Like hang on, it's on the 5th floor when the 3rd and 4th floors are full of massage parlours and "high class" KTV joints. Ever think about that? In the middle of friggin Orchard Road. And you complain bout the 5,000 buckeroo rental. I mean come on, the audit venue should have been top on the list when preparing for a show, any show. No point dancing your balls, or pants off [as what happened] if you don't have a proper venue. Non-existent backstage, sarees for curtains, no closing curtains and cramped seats. I is 6 footer++, thank god I stood.

3. Price
Ok, someone obviously has a thing for Ryan Giggs or odd numbers cos no amount of reasons that flew through my head could explain the supreme price of 11 dollars for a ticket. 10, I understand. 12, steep but even and sounds okok. But 11? Someone really had it going for the accountant and the poor folks who had to dig for an extra gold coin there.

4. Preparation
This was a very disorganized show period. Sponsorship was scarce. Ticket allocation was horrendous. Yeah, man, next time call SISTIC up and tell them you wanna reserve 30 tickets and pay an hour before the Fort Minor concert. You fuckwits.

But seriously, first time you are putting up a show and borrowing the name of something with legendary qualities and you don't even bother consulting the legend makers? Instead you ask the closest person you get on every god-damn issue. [yes, GOD was a pun] when the person has zilch experience in putting up a show or the intricacies that go into it. Is it cos he is ur committee member's bfren, looks slightly intellectual and certainly behaves like he snaps his fingers and Sharukh Khan sings for him?

I have but this to say. When they introduced the main comm on stage and I only saw one man among 6-7 women. I totally understood the situation. I is not sexist, but thats the way it goes. I have much love and praise for able women, however incapable, easily flustered and take on 10 things-do 5 of them women we can do without. Surely. Kinda explains why the food catered for the VIPs was actually the homecooked goodness of the secretary's mum. Samosas were good though, oh yeah thanks for the coffee.

The show:

1. The Impersonators
Tried and tested concept of forcing the schools' to do impersonations of Tamil filmstars was indeed a success again. Comedy is what rocks the KLK boat, and comedy they did. Thankfully, scripts weren't too intellectual for the dumbwitted us and voice projection was easy cos of the enclosed audit [Heard that NYJC?]

2. The Songsters
I have no friggin idea why minus one tracks werent done for the event. If you run a song competition, this is the most essential of them all. Another example of bad prep. And why were there 4 by 4 singers. Adding a new twist to the concept I guess...didnt work fellas. Reminded me of a WWF Fatal 4 way there. One croaker, one sublime singer and 2 jalraas.

3. The Dancers
Nice. Good. If only the crowd was more rowdy. Like 50% KLKs would have done the trick. With 20% drunk on Black Cat and the other 10% being trigger happy with their index fingers and shrill whistles. A bit too urmz, Enya though the choices of music. Like where the fuck where the naatu kattai songs. Thank god Love Supreme didnt make a comeback.

4. The Lighting
A fracas with some punks of a lighting crew. Got terminated, came back to offer services for "free" citing the need to being to impress chicks. God help my Tamil teacher when all this bad karma comes around. Not fantastic, smoke machine also totally engulfed the prize winners if you remember at one time. And that punk who kept walkin onto the stage to put the props, wtf was the lighting guy doing? Switch off la, don't make him look soo foolish. Twice. Point to note, abovementioned clowns are NOT the actual lighting guys done by Jay and gang. They just felt the need to stumble into the proceedings even though they had already been sacked.

5. The Seating
How the hell do you oversell a show? No seriusly. It's a 599 seater auditorium. They claimed to have boosted seating to 620 with extra chairs. But upon entering the audit at like 6+, I didnt see no extra loose chairs set up. So ppl were fucked. And the real KLK way of occupying rows leaving pockets of 1 here and there. End result, massive audience, some on the stair case. Some at the back of the audit. And dumbwitted ushers and helpers who just couldnt decide where to place ppl.
I really felt the school should have made an apology and at least offered to discount the ppl who ended up on the stairs. I'd have done it. If it was my show.

6. The Emcees
The male emcee was fucking gone la. Cannot make it. The female one, obviously a virgin at the way she was gingerly holding the rod in her palms. Speak into the mike girl not around it. Prize presentation was another farce. I didnt find anything much wrong with what the emcees were doing except it was soo obvious there was a lack of practise. Why the hell did the 2 blokes keep walking up and down the stairs to point out things. No seriusly, it aint your show. I know you did a lot for it. But don't embarass the 2 ppl la. Macam you is the champion and they are dirt stupid? I've seen this in other shows before too, the traipsing up the stairs to prove a point. Go fuck urself. Seriusly. We might do things wrong. But we don't need you to point it out in front of a 600+ audience.

7. The seniors
The alumni presence was not hard to note here. Every skit, the better dance, security : all covered by senior blokes who had already graduated. Kudos of course to Naga, Prem and Logesh who had no reason to be there but helped out anyway.

Rakesh and Karthik, carried the show. No doubt about that. There was soo many Yr 1 mingers just dwaddling near the entrance and the stairs that I wonder if they couldnt have been put to much better use. Even the parts where pure current AJC students undertook showed that the capacity to cock up was inherent.

The 'real' aftermath:

No show ends without the customary KLKuarrel. This time, same blokes different venue and time. Heng heng you cheebais didnt try anything within the audit. Do not for any reason not think that my hand not itchy. I is as itchy punani as they come.

Overall, Puyal has definitely been unseated as the show of choice. We is back mudderfuckers..... But long long way to go AJC. May I suggest you watch old tapes to see what the fuck really happens in a wild ass show produced by the Anjadi Junior Collegiate. And the amount of multi tasking that goes into these productions. Where there is no such thing as alumni participation.


Adieu!

tamil, cultural, show, junior college, anderson
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