The next time, you see the Macdonald's guy give me a big cup of ice kosong even he had to traipse all the way in the middle of his smoke break, don't baulk. It's normal.
To the guy in primary school who never understood why the last plate of nasi lemak was always mine even though he got to the queue first. I'm sorry. It's normal.
To the fellas in JC who wondered why I could use the carrom boards whenever I wanted and they had to adhere to set time slots. Don't pull your hair over it. It's normal.
I don't know how the rest of the normal humanoid world functions but I function purely by trading favours. You learn this innate skill when you are born poor. Yes, poor. Not dirt poor, like can't pay your electricity and water bills poor. But, sufficiently poor, poor enough that your parents can't get you everything you want poor. You might claim, that that's normal, parents seldom get their kids everything they want. But think about it again, don't you really have everything you'd want? Or need?
It's not about food, clothes, shelter and love. You know what its bout. The rest of the jing bang that goes along with a childhood and angsty teenage years. Allowances both monetary and regards to freedom and the rest of the extra curricular shit that goes along with it. Car at 21, Club at 18, Handphone at 13, Going out to the arcade at 10, New bicycle at 5.....
So, yeah, you learn. How to use what you have in abundance to exchange for something you might want to have. Call it barter trade if you will. I call it favour trading.
Some people have the luck. Could be their looks or their demeanour, these are the kind that walk into a classroom, an office, the army and immediately the top man finds them favourable. I'm talking bout those unassuming humble dudes who just everyone seems to like, especially the top man. Not the shameless cocksuckers who can carry my commander's balls soo high he needn't even twitch a muscle to do his pull ups.
I on the other hand, have never got lucky with top management. Too laid back they say, always playing the fool they say, smoke too much work too little they say. That's why I've always been friends with the lower people in the ladder. Doesn't sound too beneficial? Think about it. If your best buddies in school are the office clerks, the janitor, the canteen stall holders and the photocopy uncle instead of the principal and teachers; How much easier does your life get then?
You will never have to queue in your life anymore. Never have to wait for administrative lapses. Never not be able to photocopy anything cos you lack your card or cash. Never encounter a locked room that you can't get the key to in minutes.
That's how it is. Favours traded for favours. What favours I have done for them, I don't want to mention. But, the folks do it anyway. Why? Cos, I know how to return a favour. In fact, I'd probably give it back twice as much. So, they don't mind going out of their way a bit. Or if it's in their way, better still. At least I ask of it humbly, as if it was really gonna be a 50-50 chance that i'd get it, and not with the sheer arrogance of a man who knows its gonna happen so there's no need being polite for it to happen.
In every operation, there's always an inside man. Someone well versed in the said scenario who then advises the main man on what to do. To be privy to insider info is like the pinnacle of information gathering. And I love information. Senthil says it in Boys, "Information is power". Humourous? Maybe. True? Hell yeah! Never do anything you know nuts about. Even if its as open and transparent as a blog.
Do you really think I have no idea who tags me, mofos? I'll leave you to ponder. My insider info has come thru though.
Adieu!
To the guy in primary school who never understood why the last plate of nasi lemak was always mine even though he got to the queue first. I'm sorry. It's normal.
To the fellas in JC who wondered why I could use the carrom boards whenever I wanted and they had to adhere to set time slots. Don't pull your hair over it. It's normal.
I don't know how the rest of the normal humanoid world functions but I function purely by trading favours. You learn this innate skill when you are born poor. Yes, poor. Not dirt poor, like can't pay your electricity and water bills poor. But, sufficiently poor, poor enough that your parents can't get you everything you want poor. You might claim, that that's normal, parents seldom get their kids everything they want. But think about it again, don't you really have everything you'd want? Or need?
It's not about food, clothes, shelter and love. You know what its bout. The rest of the jing bang that goes along with a childhood and angsty teenage years. Allowances both monetary and regards to freedom and the rest of the extra curricular shit that goes along with it. Car at 21, Club at 18, Handphone at 13, Going out to the arcade at 10, New bicycle at 5.....
So, yeah, you learn. How to use what you have in abundance to exchange for something you might want to have. Call it barter trade if you will. I call it favour trading.
Some people have the luck. Could be their looks or their demeanour, these are the kind that walk into a classroom, an office, the army and immediately the top man finds them favourable. I'm talking bout those unassuming humble dudes who just everyone seems to like, especially the top man. Not the shameless cocksuckers who can carry my commander's balls soo high he needn't even twitch a muscle to do his pull ups.
I on the other hand, have never got lucky with top management. Too laid back they say, always playing the fool they say, smoke too much work too little they say. That's why I've always been friends with the lower people in the ladder. Doesn't sound too beneficial? Think about it. If your best buddies in school are the office clerks, the janitor, the canteen stall holders and the photocopy uncle instead of the principal and teachers; How much easier does your life get then?
You will never have to queue in your life anymore. Never have to wait for administrative lapses. Never not be able to photocopy anything cos you lack your card or cash. Never encounter a locked room that you can't get the key to in minutes.
That's how it is. Favours traded for favours. What favours I have done for them, I don't want to mention. But, the folks do it anyway. Why? Cos, I know how to return a favour. In fact, I'd probably give it back twice as much. So, they don't mind going out of their way a bit. Or if it's in their way, better still. At least I ask of it humbly, as if it was really gonna be a 50-50 chance that i'd get it, and not with the sheer arrogance of a man who knows its gonna happen so there's no need being polite for it to happen.
In every operation, there's always an inside man. Someone well versed in the said scenario who then advises the main man on what to do. To be privy to insider info is like the pinnacle of information gathering. And I love information. Senthil says it in Boys, "Information is power". Humourous? Maybe. True? Hell yeah! Never do anything you know nuts about. Even if its as open and transparent as a blog.
Do you really think I have no idea who tags me, mofos? I'll leave you to ponder. My insider info has come thru though.
Adieu!
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