Interview With God

Interview With God.

I want you guys to click this for me, click 'presentation', and then sit thru it. Absorb.

Not propaganda, not asking you to join my church youth group [Of which I belong to that one la that one, the one that is at River valley, Church of MS].

Just take 3 minutes of your time and absorb. Much appreciated by me.

Cheers!

Far East

Ah, today I traversed Orchard. The entire stretch from Somerset to Orchard MRT. Hmmm, ok not really entire stretch, didnt hit Lucky to Centrepoint, neither did I go beyond Wheelock, but yeah. Far enuf I say.

I hate Orchard by the way. Lotsa ppl love to hang out there, window shop, sip their coffee, eat some haagen daz, wash eyes. But I cannot take it. Immense pressure la, must comb hair nice nice must wear okok clothes, must not do anything too wacky. So many restrictions on my unbridled soul. ;)

Oh well, it was a trip down nostalgia walkin into Far EAst Plaza. Ne'er been there in a year and a half when I followed some KL friends shopping. But yeah, just the place itself. How it has changed. Old shops are no more, Suddenly ppl discovered a LEvel One, i.e. All u jap fashion mofos, come come set up shop area.

The ATM is suddenly missing, don know where the fuck it is. Prolly, the biggest surprise was the auntie at Jelita Minimart REMEMBERS me! Still! N the damn lady STILL asks me for my i/c, sheesh I'm practially towering over her now, as compared to sec 1 when I was only her height or shorter. HAHA.

The BK is good. Thank god the central fountain is gone. what a useless piece of equipment, all in all a much cleaner shopping complex, still with affordable great buys. I mean you can get ur haircut, eat a good meal, get a tattoo and still grab a cab home all from the same goddamn building. Oh yes, still have your daily filler of eye candy. If they decided to arrive at the same time.

Yes, missed the place. But no, don't want to be hanging there again. Some things are jus meant to be done at a certain age, and once u pass it, it doesnt bring the same thrill. I remember playing bowling with a green dustbin [BALL] and 10 Jim Beam bottles [PINS], ah, all in the past in front of the present day BK. Ah, at least I'll have my memories. Adieu!

P.S. The new font size good? Not? Comments...

Postcards

Instead of waiting for Maddox to update, and waiting for a pig to fly sometime this century, I was thrilled to find that Postsecret was back with a new collection. My favourite two of this lot:

Don't we all?!

Oh....don't we all!?!? Especially Jolie-Pitt and their adopted offspring. *Ptui*

Nokia N70 for sale.

Ok, latest addition due to my buddy Ah Pui's good lobangs.
5 export sets of the new Nokia N70 are for sale. View the phone's specifications o'er here.

Export sets means NO Warranty, hence the low offer price of just $700 as compared to the normal retail of $840 [Best price i could find among my suppliers]. Think about it, won't be on the table for long. Sms my number. If ya don't have it already, email me.

Green Street Elite

I am just done watching the Green Street Elite in Green Street Hooligans, a fantastic Brit film. Thank you Vikram.

Fantastic is about the only word that I can use, watch it, I totally identify with it. Resonates to the bone. The language, the brotherhood, the naivete and the sheer balls of these individuals called the GSE. Every football club in Europe has a firm. What's a firm, well it's a gang. Not exactly a gang but a football gang. Their only affiliation is the football club they support which is more than likely their neighbourhood resident club. So, the aim is just to get the reputation of their own Firm to be the best in their city or even the country. And you do this by bashing all other Firms at matches, the greatest insult of course is to get bashed in your own home turf.

The movie profiles the GSE, who are West Ham's firm as they whack other London firms and finally one of the main characters dies in a fuckin big time brawl with arch enemies and neighbours, Millwall. BTW, seems Tottenham's and Arsenal's firm stink.

Watch it. You won't regret it. Also, catch Revolver [directed by Guy Ritchie].

"I've never lived closer to danger, but I've never felt safer.

I've never felt more confident, and people could spot it from a mile away.

And as for this, the violence? I gotta be honest - it grew on me.

Once you've taken a few punches and realize you're not made of glass, you don't feel alive unless you're pushing yourself as far as you can go."

American History X

" Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it."

American History X

Bookworm Alert

What I'm reading:

Why you should read it:

This is not a storybook, for those of you have not been introduced to *ahem* non-ficiton yet. Also, do not look for a tell all expose on how 9/11 came to be. This is in depth analysis of all Middle Eastern/European/Asian/African countries which came to be involved in the greatest web of all time, Islamic Extremism. From way back to present day, meet the top dogs, the plans that succeeded and failed, and of course the hand that mujahideen Bin Ladin played in the entire theatre.

What I was reading:

Why you should read it:

The Haj is fiction chronicling a young boy's birth and then his journey thru his adulthood. Great in depth research by Uris will describe to you exactly how the state of Israel came to be and of course present day Israel-Palestine conflicts. Also, learn of plots to take down that tiny nation of Israel as compared to their nemesis neighbours and how at the end of the day, the Jews cannot be shaken off their pedestal.

Theme Nights

Theme nights are getting all the more popular these days. But then again, as far as I've seen, only long standing places with loyal followings or an entirely expatriate crowd can attempt to pull off fancy dress or themed parties. Namely, Zouk, the Ang Moh joints at Boat Quay like urmz Penny Black and of course ubiquitous Cheeky Monkeys. Not a blatant ad for the club, but just my take on the various theme nights that have transpired since.

I enjoy themes, no, I dont dress up. HAHA. Anyone who knows me knows that it's not because I fear embarassment cos heck, I travel in a cab wherever I go, but its just cos i'm plain darn ole lazy. The laziest mofo I am, wouldnt even wear a mask for Halloween cos it would greatly hamper my drinking potential.

Cheekys...hmmm nowadays it seems that any kid of the 17-18 region who needs to break their club-virginity ends up there. Fair enough. STOP! Don't. Don't spoil the blardy market can or not. We just want to go there chill, shoot our pools, let the ones who dance dance and of course eyewash women of OUR age. Not girls, not infants but ladies and women. However, during theme nights, it seems even mothers of 2 become coy,childish schoolgirls. Is it the free alcohol that floats around? Nah, I think its the boisterous carryin of the event by the staff of the place. Namely, credit to Ray and Max, superpower Bartenders not afraid to do anything and everything with their body, ahem.

My favourite 4 of this year:

1. Austin Powers Night

Awesome! Fuckin Shaggadelic. I have completely forgotten what was drunk or said that night, just the sight of good ole fren Ganesh in Old Fat Bastard garb was enough to keep me entertained the whole night. Oh yeah, this was the night where ahem MILF was galore. Ah, but that tale for another day.

2. Mexican Night

Viva La raza baby! Tequila was flowing out of the coffers like liquid gold. I tell you, there was no time to look at Man U lose on the big screen [I'm serius, check the records] and the bartop chicitas AND the drunken fucks stumbling into your field of vision. Hmmm, was darn blardy packed. Its at these times I wish I can just smuggle in that badminton court umpire chair from my neighbourhood.

3. Halloween

All stops were pulled out for this year's halloween. My third one there in fact.The entire space outsid ethe clubs was used to create such a dark morbid atmosphere. IT was scary la I tell you, you step into this darkness illuminated only by glow in the dark stickers and suddenly the doorman who has his Darth Maul mask says hi. WOah..go slow there.. I still need to drink before I die of shock. ;)

Kudos to all the people who came with costumes, special praise to this group of 5 TP students, no idea who they were, but yeah they jus trawled club after club after club parading their costumes..haha.

4. Foam Party

I would have included the Beach Party too, but alas I didnt attend. Foam or beach, same concept. This year's foam was like wah lau eh, overboard right! Haha, quite unlike Vibes Foam parties for those who still remember Vibes where I received my clubbin education amidst Wednesday G-String nites, yes there wasnt no ladies nights then, just nights where if you clamber up the bar top and take off your G string, you'd get a free jug. Boy was that wild. ;)

Anyway, this is how it works with the regulars at Beach/Foam parties. Element in abundance? Water. Element in abundance, easily attainable at the taps of the bar? Water. Everyone is alert, everyone's on the look out. We jus wait and wait with jugs full of plain water..for just one unsuspecting clown and booooooooosh. He gets the full water treatment. I've been soo drenched that they've even not let me into an after party club cos they thought Iw as wet after washing up my own puke.

Did I mention, we use water guns too. I like water guns. U jus wait and wait for some drunken fuck who wouldnt know a dick from his toe to walk past and jus blast. Super Soaker 1 - Drunken Fuck Nil.

While I immerse in the fumes of my cigarette which is burning down to my fingers now, see photogs from all these past events and more.

At least credit to photography team, I'm in 3 of them. Mwahahaha. Page Loads can take quite some time, have some patience. I hate FLASH! Cheeky Monkeys.

Adieu!

MRT Etiquette

I remember me and Zaki talking bout this on Tuesday after my last paper. Dont know why 2 dickheads out of a myraid of topics oughta bitch on this one but yeah. Our findings on the "clean", "cool", "courteous" MRT system. Cue: Class 95 ad, add another "C" to the 3. "Cock-a-nathan!"

1. The Great Singapore Sale Pros

Dude! There's no free lingerie or 5 dollar knockoff hidden under the seats of the train. Wait your fuckin turn. We know you are carryin big big bags of stinking old dried ikan kurau or that you smell of your cat's menses but don't be pushing onto me! I'm already at the edge of the track, Singapore is a "queue" country. Follow the damn blardy queue, and yeah if you blend in with the yellow lines I really don care, stop touchin me!

2. The Old Folk and The Pregnant Lasses

Now, I have always strived to be cordial and courteous to elders beyond my age, especially hobbling old folk who take the time taken from Khatib to Yishun [And you all know what length that is] just to reach the door from their seats. Now, dear old man, if you know you hobble like a snail, don't overestimate your abilities cos you're only gonna miss your stop. Come into the carriage and stand by the door and cling on for dear life hoping your heart or your legs aint gonna give up anytime soon.

And when I offer you my seat, I have already committed my lazy ass to waking up for some sunshine. Just SIT! No excuses, I watch TV too you know, I know I MUST give you my seat, especially the beautiful green ones. Plonk your arse down, I don't want your excuses. "But, I'm gettin off the next stop" -- "NEVER mind, SIT!". *Pants*Too much ranting*

One last bit before this section ends, you know all those times when you are like just sorting out the stuff on your lap so you could give it up to one old ah soh or ah pek just to find out the guy beside you had already risen and offered his seat. Happened to you? And what do the rest of the ppl do? They stare at ya goddamit...why do you stare? Cos I didnt beat the world record for who can get up his seat fastest? Well I'm sorry, I sucked at musical chairs anyway. And the guy who gives it up also gives u that "look" and that "smirk" .MOFO. Something is real wrong with our nation's train etiquette.

3. The Brats

I say this once, and I say it again. If you can't control your kid. Chain him at home with Rover the dog on the other end so it can bite him in his balls when he yanks it too much. I hate kids running all over the fuckin train. Frankly, if I had done that in my infancy, I would have got smacked soo hard, I'd rather crawl back into the womb. I even got smacked for standing up all the way down, a la surfer at the Big Splash. My mum's hands are bullets. Keep off the freakin hand grips, they are not monkey bars. My spectacles are not your toy and neither do I like you drooling over my school bag.

Oh yes, to the wild uns who insist on running like Ben Johnson and then tripping over your foot and falling like he did too after his dope scandal -- If your mum ever stares at me, like I waited and planned and in Machiavellian fashion aimed to send her offspring flying into air, I'm gonna scream. This is a promise. I will fuck that poor mum up soo bad, she's just going to start a TAXI fund next to your UNI fund.

4. The Groups

The Groups, entails families, couples holding hands cos they scared they get lost within the train and well anybody and everybody as long is more than 1 person. Incl. army boys, factory workers, sec skool kids.

WHY?WHY?WHY must you dickheads insist on sitting together? WHY! Is it such great pain when you cant snuggle up with your friend or colleague in the train. You have a fetish for arms touching you?

If I am sitting and the seat to the left and right of me is free. Just sit! If you want me to move, ask politely: "Excuse me, Sir/Boy/Brother could you move to the next seat?" Ah, that is courtesy. You mofos stand infront of me, me reading my book, you staring me to the ground, expecting me to move??!?!?! I pay the same fare for god's sake. And I take it from freakin Boon Lay, a full hour in the freakin train! Go fuck yourself, or charter a chopper where you can ur blowjob in the fuckin air instead of nestled within me and the glass panel.

Ah, the anger has subsided. School doesn't start for another month or so, so adios MRT, I'm a just gonna call me a Comfort whenever I need to travel. Adieu!

Animania

A guide to why I spend every waking minute after my exams, glued to my computer screen except for smoke/pee breaks. Not even bothering to trawl town. Anime. Explained the ah-neh way.

What I was watching last year: Initial D 1st/2nd/3rd/4th/Extra Stage. Movie [2005].

What it's about:

The maniacal world of street car racing otherwise known to us only thru the eyes of The Fast And The Furious. Specializing in mountain roads, racers perfect the art of drifting [a specialized technique used to hug tight corners and hairpin curves]

Watch it for:

Learn anything and everything about driving. Pros and cons of street racing and the amount of brains it takes to be a racer, No ah Pek not you with that toyota corona and the "HIRED" sign. The sheer technical knowledge will astound you. From suspensions to carburettors, from turbo engines to 4WDs.

What I was watching last semester: Naruto [Currently Episode 160 as of today]

What its about:

The exploits of main character Naruto and his fellow ninjas as they pursue "the way of the ninja". Sudden and unpredictable plot twists engage you all the way. Friends become foes, enemies become allies, kids grow up to be intelligent albeit missing out on the maturity part, adults.

Watch it for:

Learn all you need to know about ancient Japan. The code of the samurai, though the movie is about ninjas. Ninja techniques, special skills and powers. Certain characters are also named to coincide with legendary heroes from ancient Japanese history during the days where samurai and ninja reigned supreme. Also watch for Tsunade's [she becomes the head ninja in the middle] huge tits. Makes you wonder if ninjas get down to the dirty dirty in the midst of it all or not.

What I am watching now: Bleach [Currently Episode 59 as of today]

What it's about:

A boy, couple of his friends and his family develop the ability to see ghosts. Good and bad. The good are sent to Soul Society ,something like heaven but far from it. The bad are called Hollows and need to be killed by Death Gods or they will continue preying on innocent human souls. All the characters have suffered some loss or another to Hollows. Ichigo, the protagonist, attains powers of a Death God thru weird means and battles to save his friend from execution. Meanwhile, there is a thick plot to undermine the political structure in the ranks of Soul Society. Gripping if not for the fuckin young punks who do their kawaiiii style speech sometimes. ;)

Watch it for:

Learn about the Spirit World. Especially from a nation where 95% of the population practise Shinto. Learn about netherworlds, happyworlds and special powers you have never thought of. If you think Tarantino is an ace director, the fella who directed this series has gotta be on par if not better, so well taken the anime is.

This is for you.

This is for you. I want to let you know, I am not going to apologize. I've had it. I'm condescending, I know. Who doesn't? I'm like that. It is my true self, no facades.

You can't handle me. Cos you can only handle the nice me, even then you are shaky. I am not going to be the one to ask for a truce this time round, interested call me, I'll take it as nothing happened.

Quit whining like a teenage sod. You want to be level with me: In age,intelligence,experience. Come, give it a go. Don't give it up cos of whines. I can do without it. Seriously.

"When the world gets in my face...I say: Have a nice day!"

Jealousy

Jealousy. Need I say more, I feel it. U feel it. Gosh, even a pet dog feels it when it sees you paying more attention to someone else. But, how much of it is truly warranted, truly worthwhile?

I'm a fuckin jealous guy, ask all my gfrens. No one's gonna refute it, well not to the point of insanity but yet yeah, I think if you care enough to want to protect someone/thing to keep it yours, you'd get jealous too of any externalities. Hmm, econs term, I'm sorry exams are over I shall cut this intellectual crap and get back to my roots.

I know a girl. She's just a friend, well you could say better than a friend. Somehow or rather, we're pretty close now, as in call her at anytime of the day and ask for my whereabouts and you'd hit the jackpot. Vice versa. She talks to dozens of men besides me too, I do urmz exercise a bit of caution to the wind to her about those matters but otherwise, I dont have sleepless nights thinking of who she'd be talkin to if not me. I don't get angry she's talking to other men, it's a jealousy thing. Not I'm jealous of you stealing my precious baby but jealous that you are more worth the time. ;)

Do you get the scenario? That was something where jealousy kinda just creeps in and is probably not justified [as with her behaviour when I talk to women]. It's was just a matter of worth and time and should have been talked out directly. [Something you badly need to learn..directness]. Time is by far the most expensive commodity in the world. Put that on the share markets, Buffet!

Now, the second is where it could be justified. Let us examine. I had a gfren, yes la who hadn't. Well point in question, I had. Therefore I is single. Booya! Anyway, my gfren wasn't even in the same country as me. She in M'sia, I here, and no, she's not someone who runs free in the plantations, she went to KL to an Aussie Uni cos living expenses are cheaper there than in Melbourne. Well, she had this MSN buddy, some Brit fuck, I didnt care didnt mind till I realize that she pours her deepest darkest secrets to this clown, some unknown entity [unless by webcam is equal to known] who would/wouldnt use it for his own nefarious means.

As a partner, damn right I'm jealous. No one goes all lovey dovey and hunny/sweetie/baby on my gfren but me and not only online but thru sms? Yeah its a typical tamilan reaction, but if by that it means doing the manly thing then damn right I'm tamilan. Due to this externality, things did take a turn for the worse. Her defence: "After all I'm never gonna see him, he's no threat..really !". We did break up. They both did meet up. And now are married and living in the UK. Bwaahaha. Fitting ending? I say fitting jealousy.

Sometimes, you go thru life and certain things hit you instinctively. You probably have a rough idea how warm blooded males and females react [pontianaks and djinns out of the question]. So, when something still pricks you instinctively, what do u do...what do u do?

You react. Cos it's the right thing to do. With jealousy, with anger, with compassion, with pride, with love and of course with humanity. You react. Show em what you're made of. If there's anything that validates your puny existence in this overwhelming planet.

For you baby: Don't fret... I jus speak words. If you think we still connect, then don't be distant. IT pisses me off a lot. If you insist, then be gone. Make this distance wider, I'll ask Moses to come down part the friggin Siloso lagoon for ya. ;)

Cheers!

IQ

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

What can I say, I'm just a genius. But 115 is a freakin bad estimate la, I'm in the 95th percentile of Singapore geniuses. Certified by MENSA no doubt. Take your own test, contact them, MENSA and please only read in future if you're smarter than me. I hate to teach. Punks.

Drunken Night Out

I was gone. Yesterday I was fuckin gone. Wasted. Drunk. Sloshed. Whatever you call it. The brain was alive but the legs don't feel like walking. My adventure on the dark side. I drink a lot, yes i do, 4 times a week actually. It's only to the lead up of examinations and the exam period that I realize and convince myself I aint an alcoholic. So, I'm not.

I'll write bout the watering holes another time. Tonight, it's the ever popular blame game. I blame you Zaki Masturi. KNN..if you hadn't spouted minute after minute "I'm gone..i'm gone" I wouldnt have psychologically asked my sub conscious why I'm not gone yet. You asshole, did i not warn you drinking while sleepy aint gonna help anyone least of all me. N your pathetic decision making, I hate you la. Hahaha.

Me and Zaki, we've shared a lot. Aint the closest of pals, but it seems we pop up around one another all the time. Secondary school, boarding, Uni. I treasure your friendship, your fashion advice [oh yeah, especially on how to pluck your own eyebrows ~_^], and of course the nonsense you MATS come up with time and time again. Who else can I single out for a 50 buck loan only to be paid back in 2 weeks. It seemed not long ago, that we drank together. My Baron's present for you, that Beng Kwee Lo we snogged in the bathroom, that fateful night with candles and vodka at Macritchie. All at sweet 16. Impressive. And it took 7 years for us to drink again.

Well here is, my cheers to many more good nights out, this time keep your mouth shut bout getting high, so I wont think bout it, and wont get drunk too. ;) All in all, a good jug of whiskey dry was wasted cos you insisted on getting zoned out. U owe me for that, and cut that grin off your face. Or I'll throw some jutsu to counter it. Salaam.

Zaki on the right, Ariff on the left

Ronin

It's time I spoke about local band Ronin, rising from oblivion this group of 5 rockers have taken local charts by storm with their new album and also delivered true rock n roll to audio conscious fans locally and Asia, soon the world.

Reason for this promotion, well the bass guitarist is ma BMT platoon mate Simon.
What I said bout him: " his pre-sleeping ritual of bathing....putting on his PT kit..and then jumping on his bed to hump it dRY..simon was always a livewire...can trust him to bring da humour on baby"
What he said bout me: "If i am a livewire,you're one fucking giant EMP cannon like the matrix shit"
[courtesy of Friendster testimonials]

Anyway, if you haven't caught any of these guys songs, the links are all on their webbie. Here, RONIN. Featured in the newspapers umpteen times in recent months following the release of their album, buy their merchandise, support the cause. Oh btw, Ronin does school concerts too, consider it their ahem "world" tour la..
Adieu!

Simon (center): Tryin hard to be "Shades" from The Wonders

Christmas Wish List No. 7

Christmas Wish List No. 7 :

I know that this is all but cliche. But, it is a damn good invention. Rumour has it that there is another IPOD killa due to be released, probably by a Taiwan firm. And also, not that I'm not pro-Singaporean but Creative's Zen series is a dud in user friendliness. Yeah..seems there's a lawsuit in the courts that the Nano scratches too easily. Hmm...scratches? You should see all of my past and present handphones, that'll show you something you wanted to know bout scratches, bumps, blood, oil, soda water, detergent, chemical solvents.

For you: Baby..get me my NANO la...I'll get you your MINI. Fair enuf?

Christmas Wish List No. 8

Christmas Wish List No. 8:

Yeah, my very own black satin sheets. Look well, look hard. Someone told me can get in Spotlight, I don't care. My bed. These sheets. Pronto. Mattress and accessories sold seperately, babe not included.

Christmas Wish List No. 9

Christmas Wish List No. 9:

My very own Jacob and Co watch. This my friends is the Tourbillion, feel free to visit them, browse through their catalogue, just pop in your credit card number, and send it to my add. Don't worry I not shy wan...want to send me..I will take.

Movement: Tourbillon

Caliber: JC1000

Diameter: 30mm

Jewels: 18

Base: JC1000

Frequency: 21600 vph

Power reserve: 120 hours (5 days)

Special features and finish: JACOB & Co. color bridges and handmade finish

Functions: Hours, Minutes, World Time

Case:Diameter: 47.50 mm

Height: 14.95 mm

Available in these metals:Limited edition series: 18 pieces in each: white gold, rose gold, yellow gold, platinum plus 2 unique styles in diamonds!

Bezel: Sapphire Crystal

Case Back: Sapphire Crystal, Exhibition Case Back

Water Resistant: 30 Meters

Band: Crocodile, Folding Clasp

Cost: WTF...if you really can afford this u aint a friend of mine...

Christmas Wish List No. 10

It's time to start the wishlist.
Christmas Wish List No. 10:

My very own personalized pool cue. Ah, my heart breaks thinking about the million times I've hinted/directly pointed at/shown an advert from the papers to family and friends at least months before my birthday.

Don't la..... I really want to be world class, I can't work with house cues anymore. They suck. ;)

Even professional gamers got weighted mouses, gimme a weighted personalized pool cue la... I beg you....... hahahhaha... Species Pathethicus.

Straw Poll

Ok..quick straw poll,

who was scarier?