Bloom Box

Aight, the flower season is just about over. If you had partaken in the specially priced blooms I had to offer, good on you. Trust me, you won't be dissapointed. I have closed orders permanently and I think the revival is due January next year. In the meantime, do stay tuned to other ad hoc offers I will have running.

Many many thanks to the clients, the folks who charitably hosted my banner [you may take them down now] and to the arseholes who provided some good half time entertainment with their antics. I had all but run out of good beer table topics till these clowns bounced along. Wanna check a few out again?

Me: Hi, this is a gentle reminder to pay for your flowers or they won't be delivered on Wed.
A: How do I pay when you didn't give me your account number?
Me: [you could have asked bitch] Well, here it is. ******. By tonight thanks.
A: Sure, oh and can I push the delivery time. I don't need it on Tuesday no more, can I get it on Wed.
Me: Oh well, can do I guess. So expect it from 2 to 6 pm.
A: Thanks. Will message you when the cash is in.

15 minutes later,

A: Hi, I would like to cancel my order of those three lilies.
Me: Huh? Why?
A: Well, my boyfriend just only broke up with me.

This next one however, was so mystifying in nature because me AND the girlfriend both got peeved at the same time thus bestowing "Double Trouble" unto the situation.

2 days earlier,

B: Hi, I've transferred the money to you. So, please check and give me a shout.
Me: [Zzzzzzzzz] [Wake up, read] [Zzzzzzz]

2 days later,

B: Hi, have you received the money yet?
Me: [out having a beer in an area of non-reception so I can't possibly message or call back with ease] Well, I still haven't checked, get back to you later.
B: You know, out of professional courtesy the least you could have done was to message back and acknowledge that payment has been received.
Me: [Quite blur as to how you acknowledge something you haven't checked yet and quite pissed that someone is teaching me courtesy] I detest this courtesy thing that you brought up. In fact, I don't think I'd like your business anymore. Please take it elsewhere. I'll refund you the money.
B: Wow! I know you are probably busy and have many things on your mind but this is no way to speak [I'm greatly paraphrasing cos I lost that SMS too]. Forget the order.
Me: Great. Send me your account number. Good day.
B: [sends acc number]


Me: [seated at the computer to do some I Banking] Hi, how much exactly did you send me yezterday, I'd like to return your money now.
B: It was $32. Still can do the order ?
Me: [Laughing my balls off and sharing the joke with Nal and Nethia, whatever happened to last night's self righteousness?] No. By the way your money is back with you. Good day.

And with that, the botanical bonanza has drawn to a close.

Total red roses: 344
Total pink roses: 107
Total white roses: 28
Total other varieties: 11


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