13.11.06

Tonsil-it-is

I was down the whole goddamn weekend with this pain in the arse tonsil issue. If you thought that middle thing all phallus shaped is the tonsil, you would be wrong. It instead signifies the two cavities either side of it, thus making it the plural tonsils.

And no, when I tell you that I have a problem with my tonsils, don't ask me if I'd need an operation. That's an appendix dickhead. Don't attempt biology if the closest you got to science was identifying a dumbcane plant in your primary school garden and then later taking a bite out of it to see if the theory was true. I wish you'd remained dumb. But yes, certain complications of tonsilitis would require an operation. This is in the event that both cavities swell till they totally block the entrance to your oesophagus and your trachea. Damn, love coming up with biology lingo. Apparently, the first man in history ever to die of a tonsil related disease was George Washington himself. I say George Bush, needs his tonsils checked.

Done with explaining my predicament. Can't eat. Can't talk without wincing. Can't smoke without getting fucked up by my mum. Can't drink although alcohol mostly solves my throat related ailments all the time. It's medicinal you know.

I finally see the doctor after the whole Singaporean "Panadol cures all" remedy phase and the American "Robitussin cures all" remedy phase. Buay tahan after 2 days. The image through my mind was that bloke who had his throat dissected on the cigarette packs. So, the doctor prescribed antibiotics, extra strong painkillers and a bunch of other useless stuff to me since I simply said I had them cos my mum needed those pills. Ah, the way Yindian families are so frugal. Now, I take my antibiotics but my eye swells. I take my painkillers but it lasts only for like half an hour when the fever decides to head back.

A brief break from all this pain came from a sachet and a half of LemSip at 5 am in the morning with me still shivering from the effects of "i'm running a 39 fever but i'm still feeling cold" syndrome. Thank you. Twas the sweetest thing in a long long time. I is lausings many many.

More coincidentally, this is exactly my pre-exam routine for the past 6 sems at least. Falling ill with a mysterious disease that can't be solved with 2 panadols, a hot coffee and a flaming stick of tobacco. It's as if it's such a joy to place more walls in front of already underachieving me. I mean, falling sick wouldn't be half as bad if my lecturer "accidentally" e-mailed the questions to me. Oh well, 7 days to go before my first one.

Saw this on someone's MSN nick recently: "I know I can cheat and get an A, but I have morals and I am not gonna stoop so low". All I thought was, what a dumb little fuck! This whole paradigm shift about morals and integrity and what really is minor and what is major is so lost on me. I've decided all youse who are 21 and under go collect my "Am I Sane Enough?" questionnaire and return it fully furnished. The alternative is the ubiquitous "Block, Delete".

Adieu!

1 comment:

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