Food Sick

Continuing on my endless conspiracy theories, I think there is a new attack by all the pro-vegetarians on the meat lovers. Just yesterday, I fell terribly ill with a case of mild food poisoning. Major food poisoning means getting your fluids via a drip lying beside that Ah Pek who likes to dig his nose and see which nurse he can flick it at, setting new records everyday. Mild poisoning means a helluva lot of visits to the toilet to vomit and when you realize you can actually piss through your anus. I kid you not. Pure liquid outflow.

So, it is also proven that RT my fated tainted lau, underline "fated", is really so, cos she also is down with a case of food poisoning when there was nothing to relate both our illnesses. Add to that Rita. So, it's confirmed that if you lau me, or if I lau you, you would be down with food poisoning. All medical cases to report on the tagboard. If you are not sick, shame on you, you two-timing SOB.

Another interesting thought that crept into my mind in the wee hours of the morning is how Hitler and Brahmins are related. See, Brahmins always held the power over the rest of the bozos, thus cementing their place as the TOP caste due to the main fact that they learnt Sanskrit and were the only ones who "apparently" could speak to God for you. I am very perturbed by this.

Since young, I've spoke to God in Malay, Chinese, Tamil, English and various other forms of inaudible expressions. Usually, I need to tell God a story to explain the circumstances. Although, God is All-Knowing, I'd prefer if he/she didn't miss out on the tiny details that could be crucial to the tale. I say "she" also, because it was put to us in the movie "Dogma" which was banned in Singapore that God was actually Alanis Morisette. It was also put to us in "Bruce Almighty" that God was indeed African in descent and looked heavily like Morgan Freeman.

Back to Hitler. This story after told to me for just 2 minutes of laughing out aloud, has since nestled itself in a crevice making me think about it over and over.

Little Girl: Uncle, who is Hitler?
Uncle: He was a German. A bad man who did very bad things.
Little Girl: Then why does he have a swastika on his flag which is he same as our Hindu one?
Uncle: Well, my child, many people are actually Hindu, but they just don't admit it.

Booosh! Bish! Mind-blowing stuff. So, I had to do my own research. And depend on a chain e-mail. And this is what I found:

1. Hitler was a vegetarian, Brahmins are too.

2. Brahmins kinda started this whole Hinduism way of life thing. Swastika and all. Hitler put a Swastika on his flag.

3. Hitler was obsessed with killing Jews and preserving a "clean" Aryan race. Brahmins tend to think they are still the TOP caste and also are Aryan in descent. [There are tons of dark Brahmins though, as there are dark Punjabis.]

There you have it. Hitler is a Brahmin. Nuff said.

Now on to my next curious finding of the day. It came to my attention, of course by a chain e-mail, cos these days, any message you leave on my MSN while I'm away is promptly eliminated when my youngest signs me out. I just don't get what his fascination with my PC is! Summore I give him the laptop to use! Even today, I woke up, and while I was mulling around, waiting to have my first smoke of the day, he returned home, took off his shoes and made a bee-line for my computer. He switched on the monitor, don't know what the hell he was looking for, and then he left. I stress. What is it on my desktop that brings him back time and time again?

Still, being proper law-abiding Singaporeans, no matter how good life is, we always seem to have a grouse with the ruling government and the ruling party. But, the most powerful nation of the world and the people who put out its laws and policies seem to have a whole different recruitment policy. Observe:

Of 535 members of the US National Congress,

29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Aint you glad now we only have leaders who are straight A students and helped the teacher carry the workbooks in Primary School?


Late Addition: Seems, MANY households have food poisoning these few days. Either something is in the water, or something got contaminated. Hope the AVA catches the terrorists who pulled this nasty prank. Bastardos.

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