Post secret 2

The sheer audacity of this card astounds me.

I feel this way all the time. Haiz.

Now this is a fantastic way to keep your stress under control. Wait for someone else to do it and then point your finger and wag it.

NTU's atrocities

School's about to open. And damn, the fuckin pain of subject registration. Why can't things be simple like in the old days, go to school on the first day, collect your timetable, everyone complains "wah lau..wednesday finish so late...still got eca training", but then we all jus do the same shit, write the same exams at the same time. Who pass goes on, who fails doesn't, and gets retained.

Who was the bright spark who came up with the modular system anyway. Like if you fail a module, you repeat it till either you pass it or they throw it out of the syllabus and give u another crappy replacement subject.

Now, we suddenly from A B C D got grades from A+ to D- and E and F ,all carrying their individual grade points so we can calculate what degree we're gonna end up with. Finally, NTU sees the sun. Nabei, so fucking long grads of the school have literally stabbed in the dark just gone thru the motions and wrote their papers without one inkling of what class of degree they might come up with. Some even theorized that there was a quota each year for each class.

I just don't get it. You earn your class as per how well you did what. And also once you exceed 4 yrs of academic time, you automatically lose your honours. This is the old system. Which means, an A student [not me] could be scoring As and Bs for 3.5 yrs and in his final sem just fail one fucking module and he loses his honours and also has to come back pay 6 mths of fees for just one goddamn subject.

One thing, that really peeves me is the "quizzes" in NTU. Every core subject has about 2-3 quizzes which are mandatory and the only way to escape them if you aint prepared is to have a ready MC. These quizzes supposedly contribute to your end grade after the written paper, and is supposed to take the load off the final paper and give you a bonus. Ok, fine. Good idea. Especially for the underachievers like me.

But then here comes the cinch. The damned professors who teach have no idea exactly how much percentage your quizzes carry and some don't even release the quiz results to you, always promising to put it "online", then not doing so. Classic line : "The quizzes carry up to 20% of your final grade". WTF is up to? 1%? 3%? 19.99%? Just say la exactly how much so I know right! So I can calculate to see if I can keng the paper or I really need to be Einstein to achieve a pass grade.

The gripes I have with this school. Not over yet, will post on the dumb fuck administration in a while and of course the ubiquitous Student Union. Rajini should be Union Leader la, at least we'll have better welfare.

Adieu!

Simple Pleasures

Since I'm already in the family angle of stuff these days, I really need to give it up to my pops for the simple pleasures he has taught me.

Pleasure is one thing, but getting it through simple means with no coercion and no big sum spent is another. My dad is a simple man, simple things make him happy. Like if his sons suddenly do something that seems fillial, or when someone in the family agrees with him on something.

More than my mum, I have no idea why I've always sought my dad's approval in stuff. Not the asking permission sort but yeah to see his chuckle, that slight upturned lip to show he is happy with what u did n not dissapointed.

Simple Pleasures of mine:

1. Watching the sun set from outside my house with a good coffee and an equally good fag.

2. Dissing MGR cos he's my dad's mortal enemy. Don't ask me why, my dad simply hates that mofo.

3. Dissing the opponents of the soccer team my dad has bet on.

4. Buying the family dinner. Not a big deal in most places, but we seldom eat out and eat good. So, it really makes my old pops a happy man when he has a meal worth burping bout and seeing his kid whip out the card to settle the bill.

5. Smelling the sweet smell of lavender. Fuck man, that smell always gets me on a high.

6. Seeing my brother after he has a had a good long bath and is smelling good but with bad hair. One of my daily simple pleasures.

7. Watching my mum watch her Sun TV soap operas with such intense concentration that the curry has even got burnt once in a while.

8. Getting an sms from an unexpected source. [Simple yet satisfying]

9. Eating Hersheys cookies and cream. Nothing puts me in a better mood than rolling that liquefied chocos in my mouth. Sweet sensation.

10. A nice fucking piping hot bowl of char siew mee pok, with extra chili, add sausage and luncheon meat. Now that's the way to start the day! [By far best mee pok i've had is in Air Force School, love that auntie's shit boy]

Christmas Weekend

Ok, Christmas has come and gone leaving me very Santa Claustrophobic. I, kudos to me, did not step into the Orchard Rd region at all! Yey! One fateful night without that crap of a crowd.

Well, the only santas i saw were 3 gorgeous Santarinas at this small family run pub in Telok Kurau and one transsexual Santa with perky tits and a blonde wig but with Joscelin Yeo shoulders.

I dont' see the big deal bout this week, i.e. starting at Xmas and culminating in the New Year. It is my most dreaded week. An excuse to spend money, cabs [the only way i travel] got extra charges, food shops I like are closed and the spendthrift in me won't rest till the bank balance reads ZERO.

But holidays means more actually, a convenient excuse for all the siblings of the big big families of the 1950s to get together and have a huge party. You know the kind: 40 yr old women talking about the latest Indian movie gossip, chicken curry boiling on the stove, kids running all around and tripping over the minute specks of dust. Older cousins sitting around keeping a straight face though seething in disgust with each other. Dickhead uncles who speak like they know the world. Their pleasant wives who try in vain to keep their hubby's mouths shut. Yes, we all got crazy ass relatives... why not...makes the world go round. ;)

But the true joy I guess is to see the little ones play, here are the little pioneers of the most mindboggling dance moves and crap talk of my extended family.

My little brother, Arul

The love of my life. What will I do without him. Haiz. Presently representing Singapore in some HK Exchange thang with Scouts. Envy man, ask any uniformed personnel in Singapore, the pride of wearing a "singapore flag" patch beats any other badge or medals you can be awarded.

My youngest auntie's son, Kumaran

He has a deformity, but thank god no one in my family is shallow enough to think that makes him any less human like some "villagers" do. Fantastic fella, though he MUST grow out of his cartoon character "set clothes" soon or else I aint gonna speak to him. Aaaargh, the pain that the chicken little outfit gave me that day.

His sister, Lavanya.

Blossoming beauty. She didnt speak to me at all till 2 years back mostly cos I was seldom around these functions and she didnt know I existed. But damn, she's cute! My best bet for growing up to be a first class beauty.

My favourite auntie's daughter, Saras.

Fantastic girl, superb manners, attitude, humility and respect. My favourite cousin based on overall developmental potential. Hahaha. If only her mum let her beautify herself by straightening her hair and letting her pierce more ear holes.

My second last uncle's children, Revathi and Shivaanan.

My vote for the ones who will grow up to be non orthodox Indians. You know the kind, westernized to the max. Just grooving. Stubborn little fella that small punk, I had to discipline him last Deepavali by making him sit within a 30 cm by 30 cm square tile at my granny's place. N he got soo terrified he pissed on the spot. Hahahaha. He fears me and I like that. His sis on the other hand used to ONLY sleep on my lap on those road trips up north. Even her parents found it irritating. But what the hell, who wouldnt want me, tell me. Oh yes, they spent 2 years of their childhood in France. Cos my aunt who's in the air force did a stint there.

I thought I've ended but this photo is soo captivating I have to give dear girl Lavanya some more air time. So fascinated I am with this pic, that it is now my mobile wallpaper. Tadaaaaa :

Adieu Compadres!

Report Card

Priceless comment from Edison my 3SG colleague:

"Wait ...Wait...Wait...Am I missing something over here? Since when do people jump for joy even though they got 4 Fs in their results slip. Is this some university thing that we poly ppl don know about"

Ok, la...i did get 4 Fs but so what. I managed to stay in school. Those close to me would know that I;ve already got kicked out of school once, came back by appeal and endured a "God will punish those who fail again this sem cos the PM said don't waste taxpayer's money subsidizing failures' school fees" talk from the Vice Dean. As you would know, we Singaporeans only pay about $2,900 of the $5,900 school fees per sem.

Yeah, I was happy, overjoyed. This time around I wanna make it good. Try and keep it up to date. that shall be my one and only resolution for the New Year. 2006 has a nice ring to it, why waste it yeah.

Typical mother's sentiment: Since u decided to buck up and stop being an alcoholic.... Why don't u quit that 'karmam' a.k.a. "sin" of smoking too. Now this is going overboard la, why disturb my fags all, that is inbred.

No one even peer pressured me into smoking, I walked up to my mamak shop one fine day in Pri 6 and told the uncle, Lucky Strikes. That's like the only brand I knew then cos my dad smoked it. Since then it has been a whirlwind affair with that slim slender stick, from brands that spanned continents and flavours that can only be described as heaven when inhaled first thing in the morning or after a freaking heavy 10 course dinner.

So, to all who know and love me out there. Say anything cept bout this shiet. Don't be a broken record la, I'll stop when I get a life threatening disease ok? Oh yes, bout the eyes, apparently it's not some fucking disease afterall, just that since i'm a black man, I have a lot of melanin. And i have it in my eyes too, so with constant exposure to the sun, my eyes can get tanned too. Interesting, apparently more common with Africans. Haiz, no wonder my mum calls me "kaataan" aka "jungle man" now and then.

Oh well, raining now, mood is severely dampened save for one brave soul who is in constant sms with me since 2 last morning. I thank ye cha bor for the heat u've taken, and you have a merry little xmas too. Unless of course, you're stuck in Orchard Rd in the rain. Then, go have a fucking merry xmas.

Tip to the non-streetwise: Don't spray ah bengs with snow spray cans on Orchard Rd tonight. They might be holding the cans, but it's not for you. It's for the dumb fuck Banglas and Uurus who want to partake in the nation's celebration. Keep out of the way, or the only red and white christmas you'll see is the blood running down your white pressed Raoul shirt.

Adieu!

Back stabbing.

I've gone through exactly 3 years of my SAF life now. And I've only heard of the evil backstabbing politics between colleagues who otherwise have no other intention but to be of the higher order and fast.

In fact, in all the goddamn filthy jobs, and yes I do have sores on my skin to prove them, I also have not encountered this phenomenon. I personally have no idea what the fuck is backstabbing since I derive much pleasure in fucking ppl to their faces. Since that brings greater "brand recognition" and is a good "marketing tool".

Well alas, it happened to me, just last week. Just in time to spread the Christmas Cheer. The culprit is a christian by the way, wonder which church she goes to, and who she got her tutelage under.

Well, story is this, I is of a different department but the department next door just has all the people I click with easily, so when my work is done I'm always there, also due to the PC with the Internet.

Now the boss of this department however is an old fogey and a perennial condescending all round bitch. Everytime she sees ppl who are not her ppl there, mind you her underlings constitute only 1/2 of the room and I'm seated with te other 1/2, her blood jus boils. Is it cos I'm ah neh? Is it cos I got a kiam pah face? God knows. all i know is she did it smartly. Cos, the fuckin bitch took a week long holiday the morning after letting go her poisonous tentacles.

So the bitch goes to her boss and lets go a few nuggets of choice chicken fillet, and I "allegedly" got a shallacking the next day, also kena did a coupla innocent bystanders of which my friend was in the picture. Poor soul, only 2 mths into the job and having her own boss backstab her too.

I just don't get it. Why? Why? Why? Some innert joy? Some childhood issues with an Indian ex bfren? I pondered one whole night and didnt get the answer till some great big discussion over the smoking point, beer at the mess, Xmas function and Pepper crab.

That's when I got it. She's just a dumb old fag who has passed her prime and some poor soul along her life has convinced her that she is in fact "right" and "good" and "fair" and "full of sweet and spice and all things nice".

Alas! I realize now too, God is playing his lil old games. Play on Old Man. I aint affected. I'd just like you to send her some breast cancer cells to sit and stagnate till she's 60 and can't fight it with her immune system no more.

With this, Have a merry Xmas everybody. LEt Santa Claus give you all that you wished for, except Tyra Banks, she's mine. [If someone hasn't already crept up behind him and launched their GINSU knife yet].

Adieu!

Man woman cartoon

Rules for Women.

Another smart ass grab from another site, this time I just forgot the address. Sorry la, but you can only put one thing on the clipboard at a time ok. Fuck Microsoft. Yes, I am a conformist to Bill Gate's culture.

Rules for Women

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail [So is withholding sex].

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as soccer, yesterday's sex, or cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping . ;)

King Kong Mania

It's good when old classics are remade. Well. Watch this scene, scary ass mudderfucker King Kong, jus abouts smacks T-rex till his balls break.

Overheard in a theatre:

Typical tamileh watching the flick near the end when Kong is attacked by the military.

The chick screams, no no don't hurt him.

The order is given anyway.

They start shooting.

Overwhelmed with emotion, the tamileh shouts

"pundamavaneh....avanei utturungada!" [Need a translation? Leave him alone you mudderfuckers!!!]

I like how movies bring you closer to other men. Now big silverback gorillas, that's something else altogether. Adieu!

Legolas the Star.

Watching: Russell Peters "Your momma so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck"

Reading: LKY's memoirs.
Have never read so much hate about any other opposition politician the way he scathes about JBJ, though in a way. He writes in a way that compels you to believe.
P.S. He calls him a poseur.

I just finished Lord of The Rings. Yes, Tolkien's 3 book masterpiece of the fantasy genre, made into huge fuckin ass budget film. If you are already stumped at "Tolkien" and "fantasy", please get the fuck out of ya. I have no time for your "waaaah i love LOTR man ....i love LOTR ..legolas who?"

The star of the movie? Orlando Bloom as Legolas. Fuckin sexy bastard, even being a man my eyes couldnt leave him when he's on screen. Sheeesh. I have to put his shots o'er here. At least for me to masturbate to on my lonely nights.

Oh yes, Gandalf as the White Wizard. Amazing how I notice stuff when its not in boring elvish written by Tolkien. Frodo is such a prick face, I wish they'd given the ring to some other clown to take it to the mountain. Also, explain how his finger gets bitten off then it's all back to normal. If Gandalf is such a good healer... All of Saruman's armies should have been defeated just by sheer wizadry a la WoW [World of Warcraft].

Confession: I hate the book, Tolkien totally put me off the entire genre of fantasy for a good ten years. Even now I can only handle those little slim books. He writes like fuck and only he would understand what the hell he was saying. Wonder who Peter Jackson got his translations from. Movie's not too bad, lot of details lost but heck for a 9 hr condensation of a 3000 page trilogy, not too bad an effort.

Words

I'm going to steal these words of wisdom from Reena. God knows who she stole it frm ;)

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a paralleluniverse.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
23. My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.
24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
48. Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

And of course ah neh's 10 cents worth:
1.Goods that travel by ship: Cargo, Goods that travel by car: Shipment
2.Why is the word "abbreviation" so goddamn long?

Khoo Swee Chiow the Adventurer

Probably, events such as this don't really illicit a huge reaction from you lot cos it is a typical Singapore "do it for the community" bullshit that we simply gloss over.

I'm talking about Khoo Swee Chiow's next record attempt to stay underwater for 10 days. He's done Everest, the North and South pole and reached other adventure pinnacles. Now, he aims to break a record, which to me is like what the hell? What's the point and no motive lei.

Reminds me of Singapore's and Malaysia's obsession with getting into the record books. World's biggest line dance group, biggest roti prata, satay, mee pok, char siew pao. Fark la, the word "record" seems to have totally lost its unique pull now.

A concerned reader such as myself did write in to ask on why the Northeast CDC is sponsoring him to the tune of $150,000. That's a freakin huge sum of money to sponsor a guy who is just going to be underwater for 10 days. Feat or not, if the CDC can put up this kinda money to fund his personal challenge. It might as well have used it to feed more poor and hungry. OR give more welfare vouchers and hampers to the under-progressing population within the North East region.

Khoo replied today with this letter, I have extracted only excerpts but they are verbatim and so the idea of taken out of context doesn't play.

"I do not depend on charity and public funds for a living. My income is derived from giving motivational talks, book royalty,sponsorship and product endorsements.

By doing what I do best, I hope to inspire residents of the district to step out of their comfort zones, try something they havenever dared to do, learn to take setbacks and in the process become stronger people.

Did I do it(Everest) for self glorification? The answer is yes if it means trying to prove to myself and pushing my own physical and mental limits.

When I die, I want my son to be inspired by me.

I also believe that this is my way to contribute to the Singapore I love." [He's a PR btw]

And this was the Northeast CDC's response to the letter writer:

"The Dare to Dream fund aims to develop the spirit of adventure and entrepeneurship among NorthEast district residents.

In the case of Khoo Swee Chiow, the CDC is supporting him with a 1:1 matching grant of the private sponsorship funds gathered by him, capped at $200K.

The fund also supported other athletes and adventurers since 2001."

Ok, Khoo's letter really felt heart warming and good. On the first read at least. You read it again and it sounds so fake. So PR dishwashed and hung out to dry letter. Ultimately, my take is this. Respect to being a "professional" and what you do .It does take balls to be a full time adventurer. But then again, corporate sponsorship is one thing. Hard earned tax money meant to be given back to community is another. The crux of the argument might be that the value of the money is meant to inspire onlookers into doing something drastic and out of the box themselves.

Come on la, we is Sing Chia Por ren.

KNN, Show me the Money!

Cold hard cash does it anyday, for "adventurous" thoughts, there's always Orchard Towers on a lazy Sunday evening.

Nominate for the Siggies

Nominate anyone you think is worth it. Your friends, your hamster, your dead ex-gfren. As long as they blog, do find a category that they might be able to fit into.

Don't lazy. Just email the rascals and they will do the rest themselves.

The Siggies

The Singapore Blog Awards.

P.S. Although Reena thinks its thick skinned, fark care. Put my url down for at least ten. My favourite? "Best Beng blog".

Wilson's Disease

I went to the docs today. Not for the usual M.C., though it is such a tried and tested routine already. MCs during the semester to skip quizzes and labs, MCs during the hols to skip work.

No, actually I went cos of a niggling curiosity of mine about my own health. 2 girlfriends and 1 good friend over the years have tried to compel me to go have a full body exam done cos they insisted that my behaviour was not soo normal. I always thought I was a lazy mofo and the problem was more psychological than physical.

So, I went to the physician to get my eyes checked. I already have myopia of quite a high degree my guess is somewhere around the 500+ region. My left eye is suffering from astigmatism also. That for the un-spectacled is a visual defect in which the unequal curvature of one or more refractive surfaces of the eye, usually the cornea, prevents light rays from focusing clearly at one point on the retina, resulting in blurred vision.

Now, I have a yellow ring around my pupils. I noticed it at 17. Didnt think much of it, thought was just an anomaly of my already partial colour blind eyes [yes, I got that too..don't ask how come I still work in the airforce or drive safely, just whack only ;)]

However, apparently, the yellow rings are actually copper deposits. The body depositing copper there as the liver is not getting rid of it well enough. For 6 goddamn years, I might be the 1 in 50,000 births who is infected with Wilson's disease, so named for the first fella who got it.

Kayser Fleicher Rings

Wilson's disease is an inherited disorder in which excessive amounts of copper accumulate in the body. Symptoms of the disorder appear only later in life, between 6 and 40. The primary consequence for 40% of patients with Wilson's is liver disease. In other patients they include tremor, rigidity, drooling, difficulty with speech, abrupt personality change, grossly inappropriate behavior and unexplicable deterioration of school work, neurosis or psychosis.

The symptoms highlighted are of course those I already have.

Without proper treatment, Wilson's disease is generally fatal, usually by the age of 30.

Ok, I still got 7 years before I may die.

The only thing is this disease is apparently hereditary and no one in my dad/mum's family have had a history of it. Or maybe they did, and jus didnt know. No use investigating on my dad's side, most of them died young.

Oh well, cross fingers and pray? That's what I'm not gonna do. Mwahahha. Just in the off chance that I'm infected with an incurable disease, a la Aman from Kal Ho Naa Ho, I'm a gonna party like its no tomorrow baby. Also, be sure not to inform my insurance companies. I think I'll take out 2 more policies, this time make it to like 5 million. After all need to pay premiums for coupla months only what.

More importantly, its time for that last will and testament where I instruct my mum to:

1.pull the plug if I ever go on life support

2.donate all my usable organs [already my eyes and liver can take out of that list]

3.bury not cremate me [i have these fantasies about having flowers puts on my grave, hope the govt changes the exhumation policy by then]

4.tell her that if I suffer a stroke and become an invalid, to skillfully euthanize me [this one leave it up to her creativity la].

Instead of speculation, shall I just go get the blood tests done then?

P.S. If you need to know how I might die, being a great fan of mine, visit the Euro Wilson organization.

Gifted.

There's been so much brick a brack about GEP (Gifted Education Programme) kids and the normal hardworking kids like you and me.

I think it all comes down to this, somewhere in Pri 4 they make you take this IQ test thinking that if you are smart then you should study with other smarties, in Rosyth School. And then on to a lame ass elitist secondary school where they continue the whole segregation of GEP and Express in Sec 1 already with some placement tests and all that.

Truth is this. The system alienates the supposed "gifted" and the "express" and the "normal" and the "technical". So what the fuck's the big hoo haa about? Well for starters, the top student in the PSLE this year opted to go BPGH which is a damn fine school by itself instead of RGS cos she wanted to do it "neighbourhood". Her political statement was cool till she redid her options and put RGS as 1st place sayin she didnt know that Edusave would cover the expensive school fees.

Around the same time, some GEP and Express students got it on about how those clowns are arrogant and blah blah elitish pricks. On my part, it aint their fault if you look at it. When I was in my independent secondary school in the Bishan region, not naming it not cos of slander but cos I jus dont want to be associated with it; the teachers were quite easily convinced that GEP kids are the smarter ones. Yet, the school called for cohesion and batch spirit. This while all the way, the 7 express classs were on the 1st floor and the 4 gifted ones were on the 2nd floor. We don't meet, we don't speak, we "hate" each other.

Ah boh den, KNN all sit for same 'O' Levels what. So who care if you smarter class? Also, why got no GEP in the tertiary level? Suddenly the gifted ones don't need enriching. Or is it, somewhere along the way, the Express ones got smarter? I just don't get it.

What I say...Scrap the fucking system. Keep things neat and simple. No need for GEP, no need for EM1-3, everyone just study the same goddamn thing. The smart ones will do good, the dumb ones will do bad. The smart ones apply for the top schools and get in, the dumb ones apply for the lesser standard schools and get in to. Everyone studies, and moves along. Instead of labelling, just streamline the system.

Things are getting damn haywire. NUS High School, some clowns no need to sit for O Levels. WTH!? My kid's getting home schooled.That's confirmed. Oh yeah, I'll be in sunny Mauritius by then, so no choice must school at home OR pick coconuts for a living. Hmmm, tough choice.

Long weekend

It's been a really long ass weekend. I cannot take these drinking binges. To binge is to imbibe large amounts of alcohol is a fuckin short period of time. Side effects include, knocking on the wrong door, kissing men who just soo seem like women with moustaches, and of course knocking your friendly neighbourhood punching bag.

I want to forget this weekend. It never happened. I think I shall start tomorrow on a fresh page. No more angst, now it's going to be intellect.

Devan Nair died. I share the grief. He was a great orator of his time, JBJ in fact took quite a few cues from him. And LKY also did depend in the early stages on Devan Nair to scalp PAP victories. The most depressing thing about this ex-President of ours was that he was an alcoholic, at the time of his Presidency which resulted in him stepping down [definitely due to loads of pressure from the government] and of course his utter denial that he ever had a drinking problem in the first place.

Note to Straits Times: Don't start off a piece by glorifying the founder of NTUC and even within the same column remind the reader that he had a drinking problem. Praise the man goddamit, cos without influential and gregarious speakers like him, the British would never have realized the true threat of Communism, thus paving the way for much of the independence process. And he was a PRESIDENT! You really think S R Nathan, Wee Kim Wee, Yusof Ishak had no shortcomings even in their youth? It's time to remember a great man, long forgotten because he refused to come back to Singapore a land he helped to build. Well at least, he realized his true longing for his homeland by wanting his remains brought here.

Thus, here goes. A toast to C.V. Devan Nair, ex-president, union activist and founding father of Singapore. Hip Hip Hooray!

I need to end this here. Standby for blogicide, I have my ten cents worth on it in a bit, my 2 cents are free. Adieu!

s.h.a.n.k.e.r

I is thorougly amused. Erotic recreation sia. Is that the same as an erection?

Try it out. http://sexy.namedecoder.com

Tony Soprano and Me

I have to stop watching The Sopranos. I identify with Tony too much. Tony Soprano is the head of a New Jersey family. He rules with a tight hand, has an eye for fast women [even his own cousin's wife he don mind doing]. You fuck with him, he don't care even if you are family or friend, you're screwed. No 2 ways about it. Kapeesh?

Tony is an angry man. I see my anger in him, sometimes looking at someone just like you from a 3rd person makes more sense than having someone tell you bout it. I apologize now to friend or foe who has told me to keep my anger in check in the past only to be greeted with the middle finger.

I think I need anger management therapy. Teach myself ways to dissipate the frustrations I seem to collect at the end of each day. I am also a revengeful kniving S.O.B. who will stop at nothing to get my fair and just take on the situation. I can wait years to kill. He can to. Although, he just kinda snaps his fingers, nods his head and his younger cousin will finish the bozo.

The one thing I saw in Tony is that he cannot take it, he gets fucking buay song if some clown in his life manages to get over a hurdle that he himself is facing. In the latest episode I caught on Tuesday, it was anger management.

The short of it is this. Tony's sis hits another soccer mum cos she claimed her kid was intentionally tripping her kid the whole day on the pitch. Made big news, also concentrating on her supposed Mafia links. Tony gets pissed, tells his sis to sort herself out, she does. She checks into anger management. on her 1st day, she manages to rile a homosexual and a Negro lady. But progress is made. Tony's sis gets cured of her anger problem, she even doesnt hang up on irritating telemarketers instead being polite to them.

Tony on the other hand brought up the same anger issues with his shrink. But makes no headway. Seeing his sis being happy and cheerful jus pisses him off. So he sits himself down to dinner. Lets his sis's stepchildren know she had a kid once and she abandoned him. Also pisses her off by bringing up how she grew up without a mum and how she's doing it too to her kid.

The sis also buay song, she took a dinner knife to tiok him. Tony leaves with this motherfucking smirk that is classic.

I'd sooo do this to my own brother. If there was a similar situation. Which brings me to my point. I gotta stop watching the Sopranos and get help .Know any good shrinks?

"You answer to me like I'm Jesus Christ himself, and if you fuckin' lie to me, may your mother die of cancer of the eyes!"

I did not blog today.

I did not blog today.

On, another note, I don't expect much from people. Say only what you can do, and if you can't don't say. In the event you couldn't, apologize quick before it gets to me. I am quicksand, I never settle. Thank you for your time. Now please go fuck yourself.

"Cakap tak guna, tembak tak kena."

Also, I'm going to put up the rest of the Christmas wishlist tomorrow, this time, the affordable range.

"Be a man, do the right thing."

I know who sent this in

I bet I know who sent these in to Postsecret:

This is a true incident. Happened at the Ngee Ann City Fountain. I hope to god it's him/her. Call me man, I got more ideas for ya. Btw, damage to pump all the water out and pump it back in. Estimated at $5,000.

This ah-pek in my block. My block must be the richest in the district. Every mofo here scrimps and saves by living in a 4 room flat and can afford Mercedes E classes. Please learn to park la uncle, and no, just cos you can't see without your specs doesn't mean you get to use the handicapped slot.

The millions of women throughout the world who have suffered date rape. It is a real problem. Don't keep mum, fight it, report it. Throw em in the slammer. To the boys, don't force it, its much sweeter given FOC.Me. Yes, I was in one of my moods. Forgive me, he shouldn't have bend over to get the soap. I'm sorry, I won't do it again.

Hooligans

I'm still enamoured with football firms, aka hooligans. Their preparation is fantastic, they all have monikers, some are even affiliated politically. And the best firm in London is? CHELSEA CHELSEA!

Another brief outline:

A football firm is an organized gang that engage in fights with firms supporting other clubs. The fights mostly take place far away from the football grounds to make it as hard as possible for police and other law enforcement to interrupt. Football firm violence has in many countries replaced the more unorganized violence related to sports.

To avoid attracting the attention of police, many UK hooligans began to wear expensive European designer clothing in the .Designers popular with UK football firms include Abercrombie and Fitch, Burberry and Lacoste.

Coupla Firms you'd love to know:

1. Arsenal - The Herd [Shit football, shit firm]
2. Manchester United - Men In Black [Blardy ironic right?]

3. Liverpool - Urchins [Mwhahhahahahhaha!]

3. Chelsea - Headhunters

Also affiliated with white supremacist orgs like the Ku Klux Klan. Most famous Chelsea thug ever was "Babs" who was black. WTF! a Black white supremacist. Fugger's brain got fried in the fish n chips shop i guess. Current head is "Nightmare". His calling card, "It's the Nightmare calling - are you boys ready?"

And, the more zany names:

1. Birmingham - Zulu Warriors
2. Leicester - Baby Squad
3. Portsmouth - 6:57 Crew

I'm inspired. What say we start a firm for Home United call it the Bishan Buffoons. Or maybe, Tampines since they the champs. Call it The Stag Elite.
Meanwhile, we'll make a tee first, every firm needs identification. How bout this one?

CSKA's firm

Of Bowling and Pool

Today I brought my younger brother and our cousin out bowling. Sounded exciting last night when he told me bout it. Didnt sound the same when I woke up at noon. Sheesh, I hate daylight. Daylight, sunlight, fark even the beautiful setting evening sun that brings tears to ppl more metro than me pisses me off. Well ok, so we went and I realize I was with 2 bowling virgins.

Now, I have no problem with virgins. I just have a problem with patience. I hate to teach. Do not tell my tuition kids that, but yeah sometimes I just zone out there and then when I'm with them thinking how best to shut up that darn irritating "Teacher...teacher...how to do this..how to do that..where is this put" and of course the first word every fella who enters pri 1 learns.

WHY.

why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why.

This word irritates me SO much, I even had to use ctrl c and v to output the above lines.

Ok, so we reached the friggin bowl. Nostalgia rushes in, ah, this is where I thrashed my dear old JC friend when he tried showing off during maths lect. Ok, now the lesson. Dear boys, that's a bowl, that's a lane, that's a frame, that's a game. This's a spare, this's a strike. Don't worry bout the turkey, it's not for punks like you.

Of course, as all "positive examples of leadership" should do, you should step up to the plate, and show how its done. As was expected of me, 9 years their senior, supposedly bowling and blowing in my dreams. This is where i panicked. I never bruff you. I fuckin told myself. Hong kan ah! All I gotta do to ruin my face here, is bowl into the gutter. I also never bruff you this, I prayed. I didnt even pray to stay in school when I saw my result slip full of Fs. But, I prayd, that at least 5 pins got knocked down. Stepped up.

And striked. Damn! I'm good. Face saved, I proceed to start my lecture full swing. Ball control, release angle, direction of body. Every damn nuance just to confuse 2 14 yr old boys that I am the supreme master and will remain so. God forbid they find a game they excel in better than me. I heard both of em are into computer games a lot these days.

Guess what I'm doing?

C:\ run fifa2006.exe

No time to waste.

Bullseye

Kingpin: "How do you kill a man without fear?"

Bullseye: "By putting the fear in him."

Career?

Shanker, based on your responses, your top career area is Law and Enforcement

Careers in this field often demand that you be exceptionally responsive to the environment around you. Most professions in the law and enforcement field require quick thinking and acting. In addition, some jobs within this field have a tendency to be unpredictable. A dull day can quickly turn into an action packed adventure.

What a load of crap, for all my dashing charisma, I'm just gonna be a 2 bit cop now? At least specific la..FBI agent, DEA undercover something James-Bondish la.. KNN!

However, if I did end up being a cop, this is what I'd be driving. And no, I only do PIE chases. Yes, all you farkers who zheng ur Honda Civics and drive ur Skylines like you actually know how to handle that car. The boogey man's here.

Lamborghini Police Car

But yet, I'm right, while doing that test, I kinda realized that I really am in the wrong fuckin job. Wrong in more ways than one. No match whatsoever to whatever I believe I'm truly qualified in.

Where do i go from here? Only God knows.

30 interesting facts

Last seen on mr brown's blog, I just have to share this.

Go look see at 30 interesting facts about:

Chuck Norris

Mr T
Vin Diesel

Ode to Sleep

I got a question. How is it that people get a good night's sleep. Or even a period of good sleep. More importantly, is everyone who says I woke up feeling fresh a mudderfuckin liar?

I need the answer. How do I wake up fresh?

My typical waking up routine [ok la...I only wake in the afternoons, evenings if i've been drinking the night before..but yeah, still applies right?] This routine exists only cos I die die cannot wake up to a HP alarm or a conventional alarm clock.

1. Yawn! Wake me up in 15 minutes time.

2. Yawn! Wake me up in 15 minutes time.

3. Yawn! Wake me up in 15 minutes time.

Then ultimately I'll wake la, cept 45 mins has passed, I'm late for work/school/wateva.

The taste in my mouth sickens. I have no idea what's been decomposing between the teeth and gums while i napped.

My eyes are glued shut with that "eye shit" [for lack of a better word, I shall use the chinese term].

My nose itches, wait for my bath it will start to run. Yes, I have early morning sinusitis. A real bitch of an ailment that. Ask anyone who speaks to me in the morning, I cannot handle more than 10 seconds of conversation without dabbing my nostrils with my hanky. Oh yes, I do carry top quality Renoma hankies..so no qualms bout hygiene there.

In this dizzy state, still my body aches, my head throbs, this is not a hangover mind u. I experience this every single day. Tried different mattresses, different beds, different rooms, even sleeping in North-South direction [apparently it aligns ur individual cells to the true magnetic heading of the earth so you are one with the universe].

Help me! I can't wake up feeling fresh.What do i do, what do i do?

Die la, this coupled with my nocturnal-sleep-in-the-day cycle. Die la Die la!

Adieu!

Interview With God

Interview With God.

I want you guys to click this for me, click 'presentation', and then sit thru it. Absorb.

Not propaganda, not asking you to join my church youth group [Of which I belong to that one la that one, the one that is at River valley, Church of MS].

Just take 3 minutes of your time and absorb. Much appreciated by me.

Cheers!

Far East

Ah, today I traversed Orchard. The entire stretch from Somerset to Orchard MRT. Hmmm, ok not really entire stretch, didnt hit Lucky to Centrepoint, neither did I go beyond Wheelock, but yeah. Far enuf I say.

I hate Orchard by the way. Lotsa ppl love to hang out there, window shop, sip their coffee, eat some haagen daz, wash eyes. But I cannot take it. Immense pressure la, must comb hair nice nice must wear okok clothes, must not do anything too wacky. So many restrictions on my unbridled soul. ;)

Oh well, it was a trip down nostalgia walkin into Far EAst Plaza. Ne'er been there in a year and a half when I followed some KL friends shopping. But yeah, just the place itself. How it has changed. Old shops are no more, Suddenly ppl discovered a LEvel One, i.e. All u jap fashion mofos, come come set up shop area.

The ATM is suddenly missing, don know where the fuck it is. Prolly, the biggest surprise was the auntie at Jelita Minimart REMEMBERS me! Still! N the damn lady STILL asks me for my i/c, sheesh I'm practially towering over her now, as compared to sec 1 when I was only her height or shorter. HAHA.

The BK is good. Thank god the central fountain is gone. what a useless piece of equipment, all in all a much cleaner shopping complex, still with affordable great buys. I mean you can get ur haircut, eat a good meal, get a tattoo and still grab a cab home all from the same goddamn building. Oh yes, still have your daily filler of eye candy. If they decided to arrive at the same time.

Yes, missed the place. But no, don't want to be hanging there again. Some things are jus meant to be done at a certain age, and once u pass it, it doesnt bring the same thrill. I remember playing bowling with a green dustbin [BALL] and 10 Jim Beam bottles [PINS], ah, all in the past in front of the present day BK. Ah, at least I'll have my memories. Adieu!

P.S. The new font size good? Not? Comments...

Postcards

Instead of waiting for Maddox to update, and waiting for a pig to fly sometime this century, I was thrilled to find that Postsecret was back with a new collection. My favourite two of this lot:

Don't we all?!

Oh....don't we all!?!? Especially Jolie-Pitt and their adopted offspring. *Ptui*

Nokia N70 for sale.

Ok, latest addition due to my buddy Ah Pui's good lobangs.
5 export sets of the new Nokia N70 are for sale. View the phone's specifications o'er here.

Export sets means NO Warranty, hence the low offer price of just $700 as compared to the normal retail of $840 [Best price i could find among my suppliers]. Think about it, won't be on the table for long. Sms my number. If ya don't have it already, email me.

Green Street Elite

I am just done watching the Green Street Elite in Green Street Hooligans, a fantastic Brit film. Thank you Vikram.

Fantastic is about the only word that I can use, watch it, I totally identify with it. Resonates to the bone. The language, the brotherhood, the naivete and the sheer balls of these individuals called the GSE. Every football club in Europe has a firm. What's a firm, well it's a gang. Not exactly a gang but a football gang. Their only affiliation is the football club they support which is more than likely their neighbourhood resident club. So, the aim is just to get the reputation of their own Firm to be the best in their city or even the country. And you do this by bashing all other Firms at matches, the greatest insult of course is to get bashed in your own home turf.

The movie profiles the GSE, who are West Ham's firm as they whack other London firms and finally one of the main characters dies in a fuckin big time brawl with arch enemies and neighbours, Millwall. BTW, seems Tottenham's and Arsenal's firm stink.

Watch it. You won't regret it. Also, catch Revolver [directed by Guy Ritchie].

"I've never lived closer to danger, but I've never felt safer.

I've never felt more confident, and people could spot it from a mile away.

And as for this, the violence? I gotta be honest - it grew on me.

Once you've taken a few punches and realize you're not made of glass, you don't feel alive unless you're pushing yourself as far as you can go."

American History X

" Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it."

American History X

Bookworm Alert

What I'm reading:

Why you should read it:

This is not a storybook, for those of you have not been introduced to *ahem* non-ficiton yet. Also, do not look for a tell all expose on how 9/11 came to be. This is in depth analysis of all Middle Eastern/European/Asian/African countries which came to be involved in the greatest web of all time, Islamic Extremism. From way back to present day, meet the top dogs, the plans that succeeded and failed, and of course the hand that mujahideen Bin Ladin played in the entire theatre.

What I was reading:

Why you should read it:

The Haj is fiction chronicling a young boy's birth and then his journey thru his adulthood. Great in depth research by Uris will describe to you exactly how the state of Israel came to be and of course present day Israel-Palestine conflicts. Also, learn of plots to take down that tiny nation of Israel as compared to their nemesis neighbours and how at the end of the day, the Jews cannot be shaken off their pedestal.

Theme Nights

Theme nights are getting all the more popular these days. But then again, as far as I've seen, only long standing places with loyal followings or an entirely expatriate crowd can attempt to pull off fancy dress or themed parties. Namely, Zouk, the Ang Moh joints at Boat Quay like urmz Penny Black and of course ubiquitous Cheeky Monkeys. Not a blatant ad for the club, but just my take on the various theme nights that have transpired since.

I enjoy themes, no, I dont dress up. HAHA. Anyone who knows me knows that it's not because I fear embarassment cos heck, I travel in a cab wherever I go, but its just cos i'm plain darn ole lazy. The laziest mofo I am, wouldnt even wear a mask for Halloween cos it would greatly hamper my drinking potential.

Cheekys...hmmm nowadays it seems that any kid of the 17-18 region who needs to break their club-virginity ends up there. Fair enough. STOP! Don't. Don't spoil the blardy market can or not. We just want to go there chill, shoot our pools, let the ones who dance dance and of course eyewash women of OUR age. Not girls, not infants but ladies and women. However, during theme nights, it seems even mothers of 2 become coy,childish schoolgirls. Is it the free alcohol that floats around? Nah, I think its the boisterous carryin of the event by the staff of the place. Namely, credit to Ray and Max, superpower Bartenders not afraid to do anything and everything with their body, ahem.

My favourite 4 of this year:

1. Austin Powers Night

Awesome! Fuckin Shaggadelic. I have completely forgotten what was drunk or said that night, just the sight of good ole fren Ganesh in Old Fat Bastard garb was enough to keep me entertained the whole night. Oh yeah, this was the night where ahem MILF was galore. Ah, but that tale for another day.

2. Mexican Night

Viva La raza baby! Tequila was flowing out of the coffers like liquid gold. I tell you, there was no time to look at Man U lose on the big screen [I'm serius, check the records] and the bartop chicitas AND the drunken fucks stumbling into your field of vision. Hmmm, was darn blardy packed. Its at these times I wish I can just smuggle in that badminton court umpire chair from my neighbourhood.

3. Halloween

All stops were pulled out for this year's halloween. My third one there in fact.The entire space outsid ethe clubs was used to create such a dark morbid atmosphere. IT was scary la I tell you, you step into this darkness illuminated only by glow in the dark stickers and suddenly the doorman who has his Darth Maul mask says hi. WOah..go slow there.. I still need to drink before I die of shock. ;)

Kudos to all the people who came with costumes, special praise to this group of 5 TP students, no idea who they were, but yeah they jus trawled club after club after club parading their costumes..haha.

4. Foam Party

I would have included the Beach Party too, but alas I didnt attend. Foam or beach, same concept. This year's foam was like wah lau eh, overboard right! Haha, quite unlike Vibes Foam parties for those who still remember Vibes where I received my clubbin education amidst Wednesday G-String nites, yes there wasnt no ladies nights then, just nights where if you clamber up the bar top and take off your G string, you'd get a free jug. Boy was that wild. ;)

Anyway, this is how it works with the regulars at Beach/Foam parties. Element in abundance? Water. Element in abundance, easily attainable at the taps of the bar? Water. Everyone is alert, everyone's on the look out. We jus wait and wait with jugs full of plain water..for just one unsuspecting clown and booooooooosh. He gets the full water treatment. I've been soo drenched that they've even not let me into an after party club cos they thought Iw as wet after washing up my own puke.

Did I mention, we use water guns too. I like water guns. U jus wait and wait for some drunken fuck who wouldnt know a dick from his toe to walk past and jus blast. Super Soaker 1 - Drunken Fuck Nil.

While I immerse in the fumes of my cigarette which is burning down to my fingers now, see photogs from all these past events and more.

At least credit to photography team, I'm in 3 of them. Mwahahaha. Page Loads can take quite some time, have some patience. I hate FLASH! Cheeky Monkeys.

Adieu!

MRT Etiquette

I remember me and Zaki talking bout this on Tuesday after my last paper. Dont know why 2 dickheads out of a myraid of topics oughta bitch on this one but yeah. Our findings on the "clean", "cool", "courteous" MRT system. Cue: Class 95 ad, add another "C" to the 3. "Cock-a-nathan!"

1. The Great Singapore Sale Pros

Dude! There's no free lingerie or 5 dollar knockoff hidden under the seats of the train. Wait your fuckin turn. We know you are carryin big big bags of stinking old dried ikan kurau or that you smell of your cat's menses but don't be pushing onto me! I'm already at the edge of the track, Singapore is a "queue" country. Follow the damn blardy queue, and yeah if you blend in with the yellow lines I really don care, stop touchin me!

2. The Old Folk and The Pregnant Lasses

Now, I have always strived to be cordial and courteous to elders beyond my age, especially hobbling old folk who take the time taken from Khatib to Yishun [And you all know what length that is] just to reach the door from their seats. Now, dear old man, if you know you hobble like a snail, don't overestimate your abilities cos you're only gonna miss your stop. Come into the carriage and stand by the door and cling on for dear life hoping your heart or your legs aint gonna give up anytime soon.

And when I offer you my seat, I have already committed my lazy ass to waking up for some sunshine. Just SIT! No excuses, I watch TV too you know, I know I MUST give you my seat, especially the beautiful green ones. Plonk your arse down, I don't want your excuses. "But, I'm gettin off the next stop" -- "NEVER mind, SIT!". *Pants*Too much ranting*

One last bit before this section ends, you know all those times when you are like just sorting out the stuff on your lap so you could give it up to one old ah soh or ah pek just to find out the guy beside you had already risen and offered his seat. Happened to you? And what do the rest of the ppl do? They stare at ya goddamit...why do you stare? Cos I didnt beat the world record for who can get up his seat fastest? Well I'm sorry, I sucked at musical chairs anyway. And the guy who gives it up also gives u that "look" and that "smirk" .MOFO. Something is real wrong with our nation's train etiquette.

3. The Brats

I say this once, and I say it again. If you can't control your kid. Chain him at home with Rover the dog on the other end so it can bite him in his balls when he yanks it too much. I hate kids running all over the fuckin train. Frankly, if I had done that in my infancy, I would have got smacked soo hard, I'd rather crawl back into the womb. I even got smacked for standing up all the way down, a la surfer at the Big Splash. My mum's hands are bullets. Keep off the freakin hand grips, they are not monkey bars. My spectacles are not your toy and neither do I like you drooling over my school bag.

Oh yes, to the wild uns who insist on running like Ben Johnson and then tripping over your foot and falling like he did too after his dope scandal -- If your mum ever stares at me, like I waited and planned and in Machiavellian fashion aimed to send her offspring flying into air, I'm gonna scream. This is a promise. I will fuck that poor mum up soo bad, she's just going to start a TAXI fund next to your UNI fund.

4. The Groups

The Groups, entails families, couples holding hands cos they scared they get lost within the train and well anybody and everybody as long is more than 1 person. Incl. army boys, factory workers, sec skool kids.

WHY?WHY?WHY must you dickheads insist on sitting together? WHY! Is it such great pain when you cant snuggle up with your friend or colleague in the train. You have a fetish for arms touching you?

If I am sitting and the seat to the left and right of me is free. Just sit! If you want me to move, ask politely: "Excuse me, Sir/Boy/Brother could you move to the next seat?" Ah, that is courtesy. You mofos stand infront of me, me reading my book, you staring me to the ground, expecting me to move??!?!?! I pay the same fare for god's sake. And I take it from freakin Boon Lay, a full hour in the freakin train! Go fuck yourself, or charter a chopper where you can ur blowjob in the fuckin air instead of nestled within me and the glass panel.

Ah, the anger has subsided. School doesn't start for another month or so, so adios MRT, I'm a just gonna call me a Comfort whenever I need to travel. Adieu!

Animania

A guide to why I spend every waking minute after my exams, glued to my computer screen except for smoke/pee breaks. Not even bothering to trawl town. Anime. Explained the ah-neh way.

What I was watching last year: Initial D 1st/2nd/3rd/4th/Extra Stage. Movie [2005].

What it's about:

The maniacal world of street car racing otherwise known to us only thru the eyes of The Fast And The Furious. Specializing in mountain roads, racers perfect the art of drifting [a specialized technique used to hug tight corners and hairpin curves]

Watch it for:

Learn anything and everything about driving. Pros and cons of street racing and the amount of brains it takes to be a racer, No ah Pek not you with that toyota corona and the "HIRED" sign. The sheer technical knowledge will astound you. From suspensions to carburettors, from turbo engines to 4WDs.

What I was watching last semester: Naruto [Currently Episode 160 as of today]

What its about:

The exploits of main character Naruto and his fellow ninjas as they pursue "the way of the ninja". Sudden and unpredictable plot twists engage you all the way. Friends become foes, enemies become allies, kids grow up to be intelligent albeit missing out on the maturity part, adults.

Watch it for:

Learn all you need to know about ancient Japan. The code of the samurai, though the movie is about ninjas. Ninja techniques, special skills and powers. Certain characters are also named to coincide with legendary heroes from ancient Japanese history during the days where samurai and ninja reigned supreme. Also watch for Tsunade's [she becomes the head ninja in the middle] huge tits. Makes you wonder if ninjas get down to the dirty dirty in the midst of it all or not.

What I am watching now: Bleach [Currently Episode 59 as of today]

What it's about:

A boy, couple of his friends and his family develop the ability to see ghosts. Good and bad. The good are sent to Soul Society ,something like heaven but far from it. The bad are called Hollows and need to be killed by Death Gods or they will continue preying on innocent human souls. All the characters have suffered some loss or another to Hollows. Ichigo, the protagonist, attains powers of a Death God thru weird means and battles to save his friend from execution. Meanwhile, there is a thick plot to undermine the political structure in the ranks of Soul Society. Gripping if not for the fuckin young punks who do their kawaiiii style speech sometimes. ;)

Watch it for:

Learn about the Spirit World. Especially from a nation where 95% of the population practise Shinto. Learn about netherworlds, happyworlds and special powers you have never thought of. If you think Tarantino is an ace director, the fella who directed this series has gotta be on par if not better, so well taken the anime is.