Happy Birthday Sara.

Happy Birthday Sara. Since you are now transcending your 14 years of age barrier. It's time to advise you on a few choice items before you die before me due to either AIDS, the vicitim of an "innocent" bank robbery or touching the wrong man's woman.

Pointer 1: You are not me. Yes the family similarities are there, but I was already way beyond you at your age. Heck, I didnt have to beg to play the Playstation, we HAD NO playstation. So, I was at the arcades with the bengs and the mats (tamilehs not incl. , they preferred sports that didnt require high technology.) So don't act like me, it doesn't work with UR dad, he'll smack ya silly got it. ;)

Pointer 2: Don't bully your younger sis. I will smack you myself if you do. She is the one sweet thing left to look forward to at family reunion dinners and if I see you throwin your spare carrots onto her banana leaf again or giving smart ass comments on how stupid she is, I will sew your mouth and stitch it tight.

Pointer 3: Don't mess with my brother. Yes, you are cousins, first cousins at that and born 4 days apart and yes, you've probably shared every function together since you were that tiny age. However, if I catch you putting him down for whatever reasons you dumb fuck teenagers do, I will stand vigil outside your dumb fuck school (unfortunately my brother is in the same one..haiz) and skin your ass. Oh yes, please keep the smokers out of my brother's circle of friends, he doesnt need them. Since you want to be me that badly, I think U should pick up the next cig, happy days to your wallet son.

Pointer 4: This is a really nice cake, yes it's arriving at your place soon, soon after you discover that damn new Nike football under your bed. Play hard..play well.. It's cream cheese with chocolate chip bits on top, each oreo piece is the size of a marble. Don't start without me!
Credit: Yaso for introducing this magical culinary delight to me.

Pointer 5: The world is not fair, it don't matter if you are jus 14, it don't matter if the chicks think you're cute, it don't matter if you can do that cool ronaldinho trick or smash every known record in FIFA 2005. The idea is the world's not fair, watch your back. Watch your front too, you might be experiencing puberty. Let em grow, don be depressed, they're meant to be there....

Photoshop credit to Aarthi

Enjoy your cake. Best wishes. And please, stop that irritating sara...sara...sarajambo shieT. You aint gangsta... You jus attack your teppanyaki like one.