Is it for the second time in 2 nights, I popped the disposable chopsticks outa the plastic wrapping to tuck in to my mee and only realized I was using them the wrong way round, AFTER I was done and was gonna clear up?

Yes, my friends (and foes alike), I am chopstick-dextrous. Now top that.

On a more educational note:

The characteristic use of chopsticks in traditional Chinese society stems essentially from philosophical reasons. Mealtimes are considered as events which promote social harmony through the gathering of family and friends.

It is therefore considered inappropriate for any implement designed to stab and cut (such as a knife) to be used at the dining table, as such implements are associated with violence. It is also for this reason that Chinese chopsticks never have pointed ends.

And these should serve not to embarass you at anymore Chinese wedding dinners [dedicated to MM who decided to use one stick to stir his Martell Sprite at the recent auction, both of which was embarassing, cos high quality liquor is NOT mixer-ed, ever.] :

  • Never wave your chopsticks around as if it was an extension of your hand gestures, bang them like drumsticks or use them to move bowls or plates.
  • Decide what to pick up before reaching with chopsticks (do not hover around or poke looking for special ingredients). After you have picked up an item, do not put it back in the dish.
  • When picking up a piece of food, never use the tips of your chopsticks to poke through the food as if you were using a fork.
  • Chopsticks can be rested horizontally on one's plate or bowl to keep them off the table entirely. A chopstick rest can also be used to keep the points off the table.
  • It is normal to have your lips touching the edge of the rice bowl and using chopsticks to push rice directly into the mouth.
  • Never stab chopsticks into a bowl of rice, leaving them standing upwards. Any stick-like object facing upward resembles the incense sticks that some Asians use as offerings to deceased family members.
  • A set of chopsticks are one of the wedding gifts normally presented to Chinese newlyweds as the Chinese words for "chopsticks" and "to bear a son soon" sound the same.
  • When communal chopsticks are supplied with shared plates of food, it is considered impolite to use your own chopsticks to pick up the food from the shared plate or eat using the communal chopsticks.
Got it? Now tuck in. I recommend

For breakfast: 3 dollar char siew wanton mee kia, add luncheon meat and sausage, extra chilli
For lunch: 3 dollar mushroom chicken wanton mee, extra serving wanton soup.
For dinner: 4 dollar minced meat fishball mee kia, add mushrooms and one more fishcake for robustness, way extra chilli so you can have a good purging in the morning.


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