I know it's quite shameful to be branded a quitter in some circles. But, yeah, I quit. I've been playing this wild goose chase game with a certain someone for very very long. The person always seems the same, just that the names vary sometimes. It's such a love hate relationship I tell you. The pheelings are all the more better when I've been drinking. Tastes heavenly early in the morning when I roll over in my bed. Feels like fuck when I'm totally not in the mood. But heck it, it's the body that craves it and thus I have to hunt down the elusive supply of bliss.

I am parting ways with my Marlboros, Viceroys and what have yous. It's only the second time in my life that I have tried it. Well, make that third. The very first time cocked up on the very second day. It was the whole "we're in the army-let's go to brunei and live in the jungle like Robinson Crusoe-and quit smoking while we're at it".

We had a pact, me and my platoon mates. Like the 5 of us heavy ass smokers. Pity us right. We were in the only wing in OCS that had effectively banned smoking cos the Big Boss said so. We didn't even own a yellow box. Those painted lines had been scraped off the floor liao. And on one fateful day, when I had MCed for diarrhoea, the other 4 blokes in the group, including my roomie got caught for smokin at the staircase and served up their fair share of punishment.

I forgot the term, but yeah, you pack a full pack, march all the way like for 1.5 clicks to the guard room and back. Sweating like a fucknut by the time you're done. And you do it at the end of the work day. I.e. when you're ALREADY tired like fuck. RP was it? I forgot la. Anyhow, I was so guilty, cos if I was not on medical leave, I'd have been charged for it too. So, everytime my buddy left for his daily chore, I'd sing "Leavin on a Jet Plane" for him.

We lived on the second floor. So, I'd sing for him while at the window and he's ready to set off. Haha. But no sweat, he was a Diver before he wanted to be a Pilot. So he could take it.

Did I mention why the Brunei attempt failed? Me and my big mouth la. I managed to talk the boatman who ferries us to the campsites to part with his pack for a said amount payable back at the bunk. And then, the medic also was "persuaded" to supply us with some sticks. Not to mention, our company storeman who was a smoker, and had brought in like 5 packs of his own. Thus, this plan was doomed to fail from the start.

The second time lasted for a week. This was such an amazing week. If I need to quit, I always envisioned, [and mind you I've been smoking since I was 12] I had to have zero external stress to do it. And it was one of those weeks, in the holidays. No school. It was the vacation. No work. I put one week leave. Lotsa support from current girlfriend. It took me a week to trip. Apparently, nicotine dissapears from your bloodstream in a week. Then you don't crave it anymore. But, yeah, the moment I walked inside the club, thinkin "yes to chivas, no to marlboros". I flunked. Failed. Terribly. It just was so natural. I walked in. I walked out. Bought me a softpack. And came back.

This time, I am doing it for the sole sake that I have not smoked since morning. Cos, I was just too lazy to trudge down to the shop to buy it. And also cos, the dwindling amount in my bank account reminds me I can't last till next week at the very least if I don't halt something. Did I also mention, my "Wanna do, do it big" policy has effectively got me sick and tired of drinking? I have just donated two thirds of a Chivas bottle to my brother.

Now, to clarify. In case, someone out there sees me lighting up after this post and questions my intentions or my integrity. I said I've quit. I've quit buying. =) Yeah la, people smoke for 12 years already, what if I drop dead of a heart attack cos of this cold turkey business. So, if you are kind enough, let me bum a stick off you now and then. Much appreciated. As long as I don't have a nice solid hardpack peeking out from my pockets, I doubt I'll need to fag as much.

And the one last reason why I gotta quit the fags: Chicks don't dig smokers no more. "(


1 comment:

Blogger said...

Are you paying more than $5 / pack of cigs? I buy all my cigarettes over at Duty Free Depot and I'm saving over 60%.