Not the Singapore Idol results, you doofi [that's plural for doofus by the way, advised by a keen fan of the English language from way down in the Gold Coast]. But that Johnathon Leong not bad ah, not say so goddamn good lookin, but enough la, and sure as hell he got no cockiness about him.

Anyhow results are out. Solid ah. I didn't expect such a splendid display of my academic prowess contained within 1 A4 sheet of paper. All in all I have garnered 6 Fs out of 9. The other 3, I know I'll pass. These 6, once I walked out of the hall already I know I'll fail. Big deal.

Now, I is has gone and drawn up a new roadmap. Kinda like a workplan for academic year 2006/07 and beyond all the way till 2010 which is hopefully the year I get to ORD from this fuckin screwed up organization that is employing me.

I, like my esteemed table in school that I sit with, am now a subscriber to the 5 year degree programme. This is if and only if I actually clear everything first time round in subsequent semesters.

Oh well. Anyhow, I is neither depressed nor devastated by this event. Thus, please please refrain from calling and offering condolences or start your auntie-like nagging. I hate nags, such a turn off. If however, you'd like to have a laugh over it while knocking a few beers with me while looking at the Hooters' chick's knockers, you is most welcome.

Today, I took a taxi to work and the train back. Why? Cos, I and the P-Man have split ways. For good. I was nice at first. But, seriously, don't attempt to disrespect me or hint at something you think is quite funny but I don't, when I outrank you and am your only friend in the office. Obi good loh. Now, you have no friend. You have no life. I will slowly but surely, funnel you into that corner old man. And squeeze the last breath of air out of your lifeless vegetative corpse. Enjoy. Oh yes, that threat about, waking up and finding your small Kelisa flipped over in that carpark lot. Not a joke. I AM CAPABLE. Who ask you buy house in Ang Mo Kio? Dumb ass.

This Saturday, I is at MOS. Any takers? Pay your own way thank you.


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